I AM indeed my dear George the most happy of human beings happy in the paternal regard of the best of parents the sincere esteem of my worthy relations lord and lady Belmont and the friendship the tender friendship of their lovely daughter the amiable lady Julia An encrease of fortune which you are kind enough to wish me might perhaps add something to my felicity but is far from being necessary to constitute it nor did it ever excite in my bosom an anxious wish My father though he educated me to become the most splendid situation yet instructed me to be satisfied with my own moderate one he taught me that independence was all a generous mind required and that virtue adorned by that liberal education his unsparing bounty lavished on me would command through life that heartfelt esteem from the worthy of every rank which the most exorbitant wealth alone could never procure its possessors Other parents hoard up riches for their children mine with a more noble more enlightened solicitude expended his in storing my mind with generous sentiments and useful knowledge to which his unbounded goodness added every outward accomplishment that could give grace to virtue and set her charms in the fairest light
Shall I then murmur because I was not born to affluence No believe me I would not be the son of any other than this most excellent of men to inherit all the stores which avarice and ambition sigh for I am prouder of a father to whose discerning wisdom and generous expanded heart I am so obliged than I should be of one whom I was to succeed in all the titles and possessions in the power of fortune to bestow From him I receive and learn properly to value the most real of all treasures independence and content
What a divine morning how lovely is the face of nature! The blue serene of Italy with the lively verdure of England But behold a more charming object than nature herself the sweet the young the blooming lady Julia who is this instant stepping into her post chaise with lady Anne Wilmot How unspeakably lovely she looks up to the window she smiles I understand that smile she permits me to have the honour of following her Ill order my horses and whilst they are getting ready endeavour to describe this most angelic of woman kind
Lady Julia then who wants only three months of nineteen is exactly what a poet or painter would wish to copy who intended to personify the idea of female softness her whole form is delicate and feminine to the utmost degree her complexion is fair enlivened by the bloom of youth and often diversifyed by blushes more beautiful than those of the morning her features are regular her mouth and teeth particularly lovely her hair light brown her eyes blue full of softness and strongly expressive of the exquisite sensibility of her soul Her countenance the beauteous abode of the loves and the smiles has a mixture of sweetness and spirit which gives life and expression to her charms
As her mind has been adorned not warped by education it is just what her appearance promises artless gentle timid soft sincere compassionate awake to all the finer impressions of tenderness and melting with pity for every humanwoe
But my horses are in the court and even this subject cannot detain me a moment longer Adieu
YOUR raillery my dear Mordaunt gives me pain that I have the tenderest attachment to lady Julia is certain but it is an attachment which has not the least resemblance to love I should be the most ungrateful of mankind to make so ill a return to the friendship lord Belmont honours me with and the most selfish to entertain a wish so much to lady Julias disadvantage My birth it must be confessed is not unworthy even her since the same blood fills our veins my father being descended from the eldest brother of the first earl of Belmont great grandfather of the present but it would ill become a man whose whole expectations are limited to the inheritance of 700l a year long very long may it be before the greatest of all misfortunes makes even that little mine to aspire to the heiress of twice as many thousands
What I feel for this most charming of women is the tenderness of a relation mixed with that soft and lively esteem which it is impossible to refuse to the finest understanding and noblest mind in the world lodged in a form almost celestial
Love for I have tasted its poisoned cup is all tumult disorder madness but my friendship for lady Julia warm and animated as it is is calm tranquil gentle productive of a thousand innocent pleasures but a stranger to every kind of inquietude it does not even disturb my rest a certain consequence of love even in its earliest approaches
Having thus vindicated myself from all suspicion of a passion which in the present situation of my fortune I should think almost a criminal one I proceed to obey you in in giving you the portraits of my noble friends though I assure you my sketches will be very imperfect ones
Lord Belmont who lives eight months of the year at this charming seat with all the magnificence and hospitality of our ancient English nobility is about sixty years old his person is tall well made graceful his air commanding and full of dignity be has strong sense with a competent share of learning and a just and delicate taste for the fine arts especially musick which he studyed in Italy under the best masters that region of harmony afforded His politeness is equally the result of a natural desire of obliging and an early and extensive acquaintance with the great world
A liberality which scarce his ample possessions can bound a paternal care of all placed by Providence under his protection a glowing zeal for the liberty prosperity and honour of his country the noblest spirit of independence with the most animated attachment and firmest loyalty to his accomplished sovereign are traits too strongly marked to escape the most careless observer but those only who are admitted to his nearest intimacy are judges of his domestick virtues or see in full light the tender the polite attentive husband the fond indulgent parent the warm unwearied friend
If there is a shade in this picture it is a prejudice perhaps rather too strong in favour of birth and a slowness to expect very exalted virtues in any man who cannot trace his ancestors as far back at least as the conquest
Lady Belmont who is about six years younger than her lord with all the strength of reason and steadiness of mind generally confined to the best of our sex has all the winning softness becoming the most amiable of her own gentle affable social polite she joins the graces of a court to the simplicity of a cottage and by an inexpressible ease and sweetness in her address makes all who approach her happy impartial in her politeness at her genial board no invidious distinctions take place no cold regards damp the heart of an inferior by a peculiar delicacy of good breeding and engaging attention to every individual she banishes reserve and diffuses a spirit of convivial joy around her encouraged by her notice the timid lose their diffidence in her presence and often surprized exert talents of pleasing they were before themselves unconscious of possessing
The best and most beloved of wives of mothers of mistresses her domestick character is most lovely indeed all her virtues are rendered doubly charming by a certain grace a delicate finishing which it is much easier to feel than to describe
The oeconomy of her house which she does not disdain herself to direct is magnificent without profusion and regular without constraint The effects of her cares appear the cause is unobserved all wears the smiling easy air of chance though conducted with the most admirable order
Her form is perfectly elegant and her countenance without having ever been beautiful has a benignity in it more engaging than beauty itself
Lady Anne Wilmot my father and myself make up the present party at Belmont Lady Anne who without regularity of features has that animation which is the soul of beauty is the widow of a very rich country gentleman if it be just to prostitute the name of gentleman to beings of his order only because they have estates of which they are unworthy and are descended from ancestors whom they dishonour who when riding post through Europe happened to see her with her father at Turin and as she was the handsomest English woman there and the whim of being marryed just then seized him asked her of Lord who could not refuse his daughter to a jointure of 3000
a year She returned soon to England with her husband where during four years she enjoyed the happiness of listening to the interesting histories of the chace and entertaining theshire hunt at dinner her slumbers broke by the noise of hounds in a morning and the riotous mirth of less rational animals at night Fortune however at length took pity on her sufferings and the good squire overheating himself at a fox chace of which a fever was the consequence left her young and rich at full liberty to return to the chearful haunts of men with no very high ideas of matrimonial felicity and an abhorrence of a country life which nothing but her friendship for Lady Belmont could have one moment suspended
A great flow of animal spirits and a French education have made her a Coquet though intended by nature for a much superior character She is elegant in her dress equipage and manner of living and rather profuse in her expences I had first the honour of knowing her last winter at Paris from whence she has been returned about six weeks three of which she has passed at Belmont
Nothing can be more easy or agreeable than the manner of living here it is perfectly domestick yet so diversifyed with amusements as to exclude that satiety from which the best and purest of sublunary enjoyments are not secure if continued in too uniform a course we read we walk we ride we converse we play we dance we sing join the company or indulge in pensive solitude and meditation just as fancy leads liberty restrained alone by virtue and politeness is the law and inclination the sovereign guide at this mansion of true hospitality Free from all the shackles of idle ceremony the whole business of Lord Belmonts guests and the highest satisfaction they can give their noble host is to be happy and to consult their own taste entirely in their manner of being so
Reading musick riding and conversation are Lord Belmonts favourite pleasures but none that are innocent are excluded balls plays concerts cards bowls billiards and parties of pleasure round the neighboring country relieve each other and whilst their variety prevents any of them from satiating all conspire to give a double poignancy to the sweeter joys of domestick life the calm and tender hours which this charming family devote to the endearing conversation of each other and of those friends particularly honoured with their esteem
The house which is the work of Inigo Jones is magnificent to the utmost degree it stands on the summit of a slowly rising still facing the South and beyond a spacious court has in front an avenue of the tallest trees which lets in the prospect of a fruitful valley bounded at a distance by a mountain down the sides of which rushes a foaming cascade which spreads into a thousand meandering streams in the vale below
The gardens and park which are behind the house are romantick beyond the wantonness of Imagination and the whole adjoining country diversifyd with hills valleys woods rivers plains and every charm of lovely unadorned nature
Here Lord Belmont enjoys the most unmixed and lively of all human pleasures that of making others happy His estate conveys the strongest idea of the patriarchal government he seems a beneficent father surrounded by his children over whom reverence gratitude and love give him an absolute authority which he never exerts but for their good Every eye shines with transport at his sight parents point him out to their children the first accents of prattling infancy are taught to lisp his honoured name and age supported by his bounteous hand pours out the fervent prayer to heaven for its benefactor
To a life like this and to an ardent love of independence Lord Belmont sacrifices all the anxious and corroding cares of avarice and ambition and finds his account in health freedom chearfulness and
that sweet peace which goodness bosoms ever
Adieu I am going with Lord Belmont and my father to ActonGrange and shall not return till Thusday
WE returned yesterday about six in the evening and the moment we alighted my Lord leading us into the garden an unexpected scene opened on my view which recalled the idea of the fabulous pleasures of the golden age and could not but be infinitely pleasing to every mind uncorrupted by the false glare of tinsel pomp and awake to the genuine charms of simplicity and nature
On a spacious lawn bounded on every side by a profusion of the most odoriferous flowering shrubs a joyous band of villagers were assembled the young men drest in green youth health and pleasure in their air led up their artless charmers in straw hats adorned with the spoils of Flora to the rustick sound of the tabor and pipe round the lawn at equal intervals were raised temporary arbors of branches of trees in which refreshments were prepared for the dancers and between the arbors seats of moss for their parents shaded from the sun by green awnings on poles round which were twined wreaths of flowers breathing the sweets of the spring The surprize the gaiety of the scene the flow of general joy the sight of so many happy people the countenances of the enraptured parents who seemed to live over again the sprightly season of youth in their children with the benevolent pleasure in the looks of the noble bestowers of the feast filled my eyes with tears and my swelling heart with a sensation of pure yet lively transport to which the joys of courtly balls are mean
The ladies who were sitting in conversation with some of the oldest of the villagers rose at our approach and my Lord giving Lady Anne Wilmots hand to my father and honoring me with Lady Julias we mixed in the rustick ball The loveliest of women had an elegant simplicity in her air and habit which became the scene and gave her a thousand new charms she was drest in a strawcoloured lustring night gown the lightest gauze linen a hat with purple ribbons and a sprig of glowing purple amaranthus in her bosom I know not how to convey an idea of the particular style of beauty in which she then appearedYouth health sprightliness and innocence all struck the imagination at oncepaint to yourself the exquisite proportion the playful air and easy movement of a Venus with the vivid bloom of an HebeHowever high you raise your ideas they will fall infinitely short of the divine original
The approach of night putting an end to the rural assembly the villagers retired to the hall where they continued dancing and our happy partie passed the rest of the evening in that sweet and lively conversation which is never to be found but amongst those of the first sense and politeness united by that perfect confidence which makes the most trifling subjects interesting none of us thought of separating or imagined it midnight when my father opening a window the rising sun broke in upon us and convinced us on what swift and downy pinions the hours of happiness flit away
NO my friend I have not always been this hero too sensible to the power of beauty I have felt the keenest pangs of unsuccessful love but I deserved to suffer my passion was in the highest degree criminal and I blush though at this distance of time to lay open my heart even to the indulgent eyes of partial friendship
When your fathers death called you back to England you may remember I continued my journey to Rome where a letter from my father introduced me into the family of count Melespini a nobleman of great wealth and uncommon accomplishments as my father who has always been of opinion that nothing purifies the heart refines the taste or polishes the manners like the conversation of an amiable well educated virtuous woman had partiularly entreated for me the honour of the countesss friendship whom he had known almost a child and to whom he had taught the English language I was admitted to the distinction of partaking in all her amusements and attending her every where in the quality of Cecisbeo To the arts of the libertine however fair my heart had always been steeled but the countess joined the most piercing wit the most winning politeness the most engaging sensibility the most exquisite delicacy to a form perfectly lovely You will not therefore wonder that the warmth and inexperience of youth hourly exposed in so dangerous a situation was unable to resist such variety of attractions Charmed with the flattering preference she seemed to give me my vanity fed by the notice of so accomplished a creature forgetting those sentiments of honour which ought never to be one moment suspended I became passionately in love with this charming woman for some months I struggled with my love till on her observing that my health seemed impared and I had lost my usual vivacity I took courage to confess the cause though in terms which sufficiently spoke my despair of touching a heart which I feared was too sensible to virtue for my happiness I implored her pity and protested I had no hope of inspiring a tenderer sentiment Whilst I was speaking which was in broken interrupted sentences the countess looked at me with the strongest sorrow and compassion painted in her eyes she was for some moments silent and seemed lost in thought but at last with an air of dignifyed sweetness
My dear Enrico
said she
shall I own to you that I have for some time feared this confession I ought perhaps to resent this declaration which from another I could never have forgiven but as I know and esteem the goodness of your heart as I respect your father infinitely and love you with the innocent tenderness of a sister I will only entreat you to reflect how injurious this passion is to the count who has the tenderest esteem for you and would sacrifice almost his life for your happiness be assured of my eternal friendship unless you forfeit it by persisting in a pursuit equally destructive to your own probity and my honor receive the tenderest assurances of it
continued she giving me her hand to kiss
but believe at the same time that the count deserves and possesses all my love I had almost said my adoration The fondest affection united us and time instead of lessening every hour increases our mutual passion Reserve your heart my good Enrico for some amiable lady of your own nation and believe that love has no true pleasures but when it keeps within the bounds of honor
It is impossible my dear Mordaunt to express to you the shame this discourse filled me with her gentle her affectionate reproofs the generous concern she showed for my error the mild dignity of her aspect plunged me into inexpressible confusion and shewd my fault in its blackest colours at the same time that her behaviour by increasing my esteem added to the excess of my passion I attempted to answer her but it was impossible awed abashed humbled before her I had not courage even to meet her eyes like the fallen angel in Milton I felt
How awful goodness is and saw
Virtue in her own shape how lovely
The countess saw and pityed my confusion and generously relieved me from it by changing the subject she talked of my father of his merit his tenderness for me and expectations of my conduct which she was sure I should never disappoint without hinting at what had past she with the most exquisite delicacy gave me to understand it would be best I should leave Rome by saying she knew how ardently my father wished for my return and that it would be the height of cruelty longer to deprive him of the pleasure of seeing a son so worthy of his affection
The count and my self
pursued she
cannot lose you without inexpressible regret but you will alleviate it by letting us hear often of your welfare when you are united to a lady worthy of you my dear Enrico we may perhaps make you a visit in England in the mean time be assured you have not two friends who love you with a sincerer affection
At this moment the count entered who seeing my eyes filled with tears of love despair and admiration with the tenderest anxiety enquired the cause
I shall tell you news which will afflict you my lord
said the countess
Signor Enrico comes to bid us farewel he is commanded by his father to return to England tomorrow is the last day of his stay in Rome he promises to write to us and to preserve an eternal remembrance of our friendship for which he is obliged only to his own merit his tender heart full of the most laudable the most engaging sensibility melts at the idea of a separation which will not be less painful to us
The count after expressing the most obliging concern at the thought of losing me and the warmest gratitude for these supposed marks of my friendship insisted on my spending the rest of the day with them I consented but begged first to return to my lodgings on pretence of giving some necessary orders but in reality to give vent to my full heart torn with a thousand contrary emotions amongst which I am shocked to own hatred to the generous count was not the weakest I threw myself on the ground in an agony of despair I wept I called heaven to witness the purity of my love I accused the countess of cruelty in thus forcing me from Rome I rose up I begun a letter to her in which I vowed an eternal silence and respect but begged she would allow me still the innocent pleasure of beholding her swore I could not live without seeing her and that the day of my leaving Rome would be that of my deathBut why do I thus tear open wounds which are but just healed let it suffice that a moments reflexion convinced me of my madness and showed the charming countess in the light of a guardian angel snatching me from the edge of a precipice My reason in some degree returning I drest myself with the most studious care and returned to the Melespini palace where I found the abbate Camilli a near relation of the family whose presence saved me the confusion of being the third with my injured friends and whose lively conversation soon dissipated the air of constraint I felt on entering the room and even dispelled part of my melancholy
The count whose own probity and virtue set him far above suspecting mine pressed me with all the earnestness of a friendship I so little merited to defer my journey a week on which I raised my downcast eyes to madam Melespini for such influence had this lovely woman over my heart I did not dare to consent till certain of her permission and reading approbation in a smile of condescending sweetness I consented with a transport which only those who have loved like me can conceive my chearfulness returning and some of the most amiable people in Rome coming in we past the evening in the utmost gaiety At taking leave I was engaged to the same company in different parties of amusement for the whole time I had to stay and had the joy of being every day with the countess though I never found an opportunity of speaking to her without witnesses till the evening before I left Rome when going to her house an hour sooner than I was expected I found her alone in her closet when I approached her my voice faltered I trembled I wanted power to address her and this moment sought with such care wished with such ardor was the most painful of my life Shame alone prevented my retiring my eyes were involuntarily turned towards the door at which I entered in a vain hope of that interruption I had before dreaded as the greatest misfortune and even the presence of my happy envied rival would at that moment have been most welcome
The Countess seemed little less disconcerted than myself however recovering herself sooner
Signor Enrico
said she
your discretion charms me it is absolutely necessary you should leave Rome it has already cost me an artifice unworthy of my character to conceal from the Count a secret which would have wounded his nice honor and destroyed his friendship for you After this adored husband be assured you stand first of all your sex in my esteem the sensibility of your heart though at present so unhappily misplaced encreases my good opinion of you may you my dear Enrico meet with an English Lady worthy of your tenderness and be as happy in marriage as the friends you leave behind Accept
pursued she rising and going to a cabinet
these miniatures of the Count and myself which I give you by his command and when you look on them believe they represent two faithful friends whose esteem for you neither time nor absence can lessen
I took the pictures eagerly and kissed that of the Countess with a passion I could not restrain of which however she took not the least notice I thanked her with a confused air for so invaluable a present and intreated her to pity a friendship too tender for my peace but as respectful and as pure as she herself could wish it
The abbate Camilli here joined us and once more saved me a scene too interesting for the present situation of my heart the Count entered the room soon after and our conversation turned on the other cities of Italy which I intended visiting to most of which he gave me letters of recommendation to the noblest families wrote in terms so polite and affectionate as stabbed me to the heart with a sense of my own ingratitude he did me the honor to accept my picture which I had not the courage to offer the Countess After protracting till morning a parting so exquisitely painful I tore myself from all I loved and bathing with tears her hand which I pressed eagerly to my lips threw myself into my chaise and without going to bed took the road to Naples But how difficult was this conquest How often was I tempted to return to Rome and throw myself at the Countesss feet without considering the consequences of so wild an action You my dearest Mordaunt whose discerning spirit knows all the windings the strange inconsistencies of the human heart will pity rather than blame your friend when he owns there were moments in which he formed the infamous resolution of carrying her off by force
But when the mist of passion a little dispersed I began to entertain more worthy sentiments I determined to drive this lovely woman from my heart and conquer an inclination which the Counts generous unsuspecting friendship would have made criminal even in the eyes of the most abandoned libertine rather owing this resolution however to an absolute despair of success then either to reason or a sense of honor my cure was a work of time I was so weak during some months as to confine my visits to the families where the Counts letters introduced me that I might indulge my passion by hearing the lovely Countess continually mentioned
Convinced at length of the folly of thus feeding so hopeless a flame I resolved to avoid every place where I had a chance of hearing that adored name I left Italy for France where I hoped a life of dissipation would drive her for ever from my remembrance I even profaned my passion for her by meeting the advances of a Coquette but disgust succeeded my conquest and I found it was from time alone I must hope a cure I had been near a year at Paris when in April last I received a letter from my father who pressed my return and appointed me to meet him immediately at the Hague from whence we returned together and after a few days stay in London came down to Belmont where the charms of Lady Julias conversation and the esteem she honors me with entirely compleated my cure which time absence and the Counts tender and affectionate letters had very far advanced There is a sweetness in her friendship my dear Mordaunt to which love itself must yield the palm the delicacy yet vivacity of her sentiments the soft sensibility of her heart which without fear listens to vows of eternal amity and esteemO Mordaunt I must not I do not hope for I do not indeed wish for her love but can it be possible there is a man on earth to whom heaven destines such a blessing
OH you have no notion what a reformation Who but Lady Anne Wilmot at chapel every Sunday grave devout attentive scarce stealing a look at the prettiest fellow in the world who sits close by me Yes you are undone Bellville Harry Mandeville the young the gay the lovely Harry Mandeville in the full bloom of conquering three and twenty with all the fire and sprightliness of youth the exquisite symmetry and easy grace of an Antinous a countenance open manly animated his hair the brightest chesnut his complexion brown flushed with the rose of health his eyes dark penetrating and full of fire but when he addresses our sex softened into a sweetness which is almost irresistible his nose inclining to the aquiline his lips full and red and his teeth of the most pearly whiteness
There read and die with envy
You with envy I with love
Fond of me too but afraid to declare his passion respectfulawed by the commanding dignity of my mannerpoor dear creature I think I must unbend a little hide half the rays of my divinity to encourage so timid a worshipper
Some flattering tawdry coxcomb I suppose some fool with a tolerable outside
No you never was more mistaken Bellville his charms I assure you are not all external His understanding is of the most exalted kind and has been improved by a very extraordinary education in projecting which his father has employed much time and thought and half ruined himself by carrying it into execution Above all the Col has cultivated in his son an ardent love of independence not quite so well suited to his fortune and a generous perhaps a romantic contempt of riches which most parents if they had found would have eradicated with the utmost care His heart is warm noble liberal benevolent sincere and violent in his friendships he is not less so though extremely placable in his enmities scorning disguise and laying his faults as well as his virtues open to every eye rash romantic imprudent haughty to the assuming sons of wealth but to those below him
Gentle
As Zephyr blowing underneath the violet
But whither am I running and where was I when this divine creature seduced me from my right path O I remember at chapel it must be acknowledged my digressions are a little Pindaric True as I was saying I go constantly to chapel T is strange but this lady Belmont has the most unaccountable way in the world of making it ones choice to do whatever she has an inclination one should without seeming to desire it One sees so clearly that all she does is right religion sits so easy upon her her stile of goodness is so becoming and graceful that it seems want of taste and elegance not to endeavour to resemble her Then my lord too loves to worship in the beauty of holiness he makes the fine arts subservient to the noblest purpose and spends as much on serving his creator as some people of his rank do on a kennel of hounds We have every external incitement to devotion exquisite paintings an admirable organ fine voices and the most animated reader of prayers in the universe
Col Mandeville whom I should be extreamly in love with if his son was not five and twenty years younger leaves us tomorrow morning to join his regiment the shire militia he served in the late war with honour but meeting with some ill usage from a minister on account of a vote in parliament he resigned his commission and gave up his whole time to the education of my lovely Harry whose tenderness and merit are a full reward for all his generous attention
Adieu
IL divino Enrico is a little in the Penseroso Poor Harry I am charmed with his sensibility he has scarce been himself since he parted with his father yesterday He apologizes for his chagrin but says no man on earth has such obligations to a parent Entre nous I fancy I know some few sons who would be of a different way of thinking the Colhas literally governed his conduct by the old adage that
Learning is better than house and land
for as his sons learning advanced his houses and lands melted away or at least would have done had it not been for his mothers fortune every shilling of which with half the profits of his estate he expended on Harrys education who certainly wants only ten thousand pounds a year to be the most charming young fellow in the universe Well he must een make the most of his perfections and endeavour to marry a fortune on which subject I have a kind of a glimpse of a design and fancy my friend Harry has not quite so great a contempt of money as I imagined
You must know then a pretty phrase that but to proceed you must know that we accompanied Col Mandeville fifteen miles and after dining together at an inn he took the road to his regiment and we were returning pensive and silent to Belmont when my lord to remove the tender mel ancholy we had all caught from Harry proposed a visit at Mr Westbrooks a plump rich civil cit whose house we must of necessity pass As my lord despises wealth and Mr Westbrookes genealogy in the third generation loses itself in a livery stable he has always avoided an intimacy which the other has as studiously sought but as it is not in his nature to treat any body with illbreeding he has suffered their visits though he has been slow in returning them and has sometimes invited the daughter to a ball
The lady wife who is a woman of great erudition and is at present intirely lost to the world all her faculties being on the rack composing a treatise against the immortality of the soul sent down an apology and we were entertained by Mademoiselle la Fille who is little lean brown with small pert black eyes quickened by a large quantity of abominable bad rouge she talks incessantly has a great deal of city vivacity and a prodigious passion for people of a certain rank a phrase of which she is peculiarly fond Her mother being above the little vulgar cares of a family or so unimportant a task as the education of an only child she was early entrusted to a French chambermaid who having left her own country on account of a Faux Pas which had visible consequences was appointed to instill the principles of virtue and politeness into the flexible mind of this illustrious heiress of the house of Westbrook under the title of governess My information of this morning further says that by the cares of this accomplished person she accquired a competent though incorrect knowledge of the French language with cunning dissimulation assurance and a taste for gallantry to which if you add a servile passion for quality and an oppressive insolence to all however worthy who want that wealth which she owes to her fathers skill in Change alley you will have an idea of the bride I intend for Harry Mandeville Methinks I hear you exclaim
Heavens what a conjunction
Tis mighty well but people must live and there is 80000
l
attached to this animal and if the girl likes him I dont see what he can do better with birth and a habit of profuse expence which he has so little to support She sung for the creature sings a tender Italian air which she addressed to Harry in a manner and with a look that convinces me her stile is lamorose and that Harry is the present object After the song I surprised him talking low to her and pressing her hard whilst we were all admiring an India cabinet and on seeing he was observed he left her with an air of conscious guilt which convinces me he intends to follow the pursuit and is at the same time ashamed of his purpose poor fellow I pity him but marriage is his only card Ill put the matter forward and make my lord invite her to the next ball Dont you think I am a generous creature to sacrifice the man I love to his own good When shall I see one of your selfish sex so disinterested no you men have absolutely no idea of sentiment
IT is the custom here for every body to spend their mornings as they please which does not however hinder our some times making parties all together when our inclinations happen all to take the same turn My lord this morning proposed an airing to the ladies and that we should instead of returning to dinner stop at the first neat farm house where we could hope for decent accommodations Love of variety made the proposal agreeable to us all and a servant being ordered before to make some little provision we stopped after the pleasantest airing imaginable at the entrance of a wood where leaving our equipages to be sent to the neighbouring village we walked up a winding path to a rustic building embosomed in the grove the architecture of which was in the most elegant stile of simplicity the trees around this lovely retreat were covered with woodbines and jessamines from which a gale of perfume met our approach the gentlest breath of Zephyr just moved the leaves the birds sung in the branches a spring of the clearest water broke from the rising ground on the left and murmuring along a transparent pebbly bottom seemed to lose itself in a thicket of roses no rude sound disturbed the sweet harmony of nature; all breathed the soul of innocence and tranquillity but a tranquillity raised above itself My heart danced with pleasure and the lovely lady Julia happening to be next me I kissed her hand with an involuntary fervor which called up into her cheeks a blush
celestial rosy red
When we entered the house we were struck with the propriety the beauty the simplicity of all around us the apartments were few but airy and commodious the furniture plain but new and in the most beautiful taste no ornaments but vases of flowers no attendants but country girls blooming as the morn and drest with a neatness inexpressible
After an elegant cold dinner and a desert of cream and the best fruits in season we walked into the wood with which the house was surrounded the romantic varriety of which it is impossible to describe all was nature but nature in her most pleasing form We wandered over the sweetly varyed scene resting at intervals in arbours of intermingled roses and jessamines till we reached a beautiful mossy grotto wildly lovely whose entrance was almost hid by the vines which slaunted over its top Here we found tea and coffee prepared as if by invisible hands Lady Anne exclaimed that all was enchantment and Lord Belmonts eyes sparkled with that lively joy which a benevolent mind feels in communicating happiness to others
Lady Julia alone seemed not to taste the pleasures of the day Her charming eyes had a melancholy langour I never saw in them before she was reserved silent absent and would not have escaped Lady Annes raillery had not the latter been too much taken up with the lovely scene to attend to any thing but joy
As friendship has a thousand groundless fears I tremble lest I should have been so unhappy as to offend her I remember she seemed displeased with my kissing her hand and scarce spoke to me the whole day I will beg of Lady Anne to ask the cause for I cannot support the apprehension of having offended her
It was with difficulty Lord Belmont forced us at night from this enchanting retirement which he calls his hermitage and which is the scene of his most pleasing hours To Lady Anne and me it had a charm it did not want the powerful charm of novelty it is about four miles from Belmont house not far distant from the extremities of the park To this place I am told Lord Belmont often retires with his amiable family and those particularly happy in his esteem to avoid the hurry of company and give himself up entirely to the uninterrupted sweets of domestic enjoyment Sure no man but Lord Belmont knows how to live
LORD these prudesno dont let me injure herthese people of high sentiment are so tremblingly alive all oerthere is poor Harry in terrible disgrace with Lady Julia for only kissing her hand and amidst so bewitching a scene too that I am really surprized at his moderation all breathed the soul of pleasurerosy bowers and mossy pillows cooing doves and whispering ZephyrsI think my Lord has a strange confidence in his daughters insensibility to trust her in these seducing groves and with so divine a fellow in companyBut as I was saying she takes the affair quite seriously and makes it an offence of the blackest dieWell I thank my stars I am not one of these sensitive plants he might have kissed my hand twenty times without my being more alarmed than if a fly had settled there nay a thousand to one whether I had even been conscious of it at all
I have laughed her out of her resentment for it is really absurd the poor fellow was absolutely miserable about it and begged my intercession as if it had been a matter of the highest importance When I saw her begin to be ashamed of the thing Really my dear says I I am glad you are convinced how ridiculous your anger was for illnatured people might have put strange constructionsI know but one way of accounting rationallyif I was Harry I should be extremely flatteredone would almost supposeThis answeredI carryed my point and transfered the pretty things anger to me it blushed with indignation drew up and if mamma had not happened to enter the room at that instant an agreeable scene of altercation would probably have ensued she took that opportunity of retiring to her apartment and we saw no more of her till dinner when she was gracious to Harry and exceedingly stately to me
O mon Dieu I had almost forgot we are to have a little concert this evening and see my dear Lord appears to summon me Adio Caro
YES my dear son you do me justice I am never so happy as when I know you are so I perfectly agree with you as to the charms of Lord Belmonts hermitage and admire that genuine taste for elegant nature which gives such a spirited variety to the life of the wisest and most amiable of men
But does it not my dear Harry give you at the same time a very contemptible idea of the power of greatness to make its possessors happy to see it thus flying as it were from itself, and seeking pleasure not in the fruition but in the temporary suspension of those supposed advantages it has above other conditions of life Believe me it is not in the costly dome but in the rural cott that the impartial Lord of all has fixed the chearful seat of happiness Health peace content and soft domestic tenderness the only real sweets of life driven from the gilded palace smile on the humble roof of virtuous industry
The poor complain not of the tediousness of life their daily toil makes short the flying hours and every moment of rest from labor is to them a moment of enjoyment Not so the great Surrounded from earliest youth by pleasures which court their acceptance their taste palled by habit and the too great facility of satiating every wish lassitude and disgust creep on their languid hours and wanting the doubtful gale of hope to keep the mind in gentle agitation it sinks into a dead calm more destructive to every enjoyment than the rudest storm of adversity The haughty Dutchess oppressed with tasteless pomp and sinking under the weight of her own importance is much less to be envyed than
the milkmaid singing blithe
who is in her eyes the object only of pity and contempt
Your acquaintance with the great world my dear Harry has shown you the splendid misery of superior life you have seen those most wretched to whom heaven has granted the amplest external means of happiness Miserable slaves to pride the most corroding of human passions strangers to social pleasure incapable of love or friendship living to others not to themselves ever in pursuit of the shadow of happiness whilst the substance glides past them unobserved they drag on an insipid joyless being unloved and unconnected scorning the tender ties which give life all its sweetness they sink unwept and unlamented to the grave They know not the conversation of a friend that conversation which
brightens the eyes
their pride an invasion on the natural rights of mankind meets with perpetual mortification and their rage for dissipation like the burning thirst of a fever is at once boundless and unquenchable
Yet tho happiness loves the vale it would be unjust to confine her to those humble scenes nor is her presence as our times afford a shining and amiable example unattainable to royalty itself: the wise and good whateer their rank led by the hand of simple unerring nature are seldom known to miss their way to her delightful abode
You have seen Lord Belmont blest with wisdom to chuse and fortune to pursue his choice convinced that wealth and titles the portion of few are not only foreign to but often inconsistent with true happiness seek the lovely goddess not in the pride of show the pomp of courts or the madness of dissipation but in the calm of retirement in the bosom of friendship in the sweets of dear domestick life in the tender pleasing duties of husband and of father in the practice of beneficence and every gentler virtue Others may be like him convinced but few like him have spirit and resolution to burst the magic fetters of example and fashion and nobly dare to be happy
What pleasure does it give me to find you in so just a way of thinking in regard to fortune Yes my dear Harry all that in reality deserves the name of good so far as it centers in ourselves is within the reach not only of our moderate income but of one much below it Great wealth is only desirable for the power it gives us of making others happy and when one sees how very few make this only laudable use of extreme affluence one acquiesces chearfully in the will of heaven satisfied with not having the temptation of misapplying those gifts of the supreme being, for which we shall undoubtedly be accountable
Nothing can as you observe be more worthy a reasonable creature than Lord Belmonts plan of life he has enlarged his own circle of happiness by taking into it that of all mankind and particularly of all around him his bounty glides unobserved like the deep silent stream nor is it by relieving so much as by preventing want that his generous spirit acts its his glory and his pleasure that he must go beyond the limits of his own estate to find objects of real distress
He encourages industry and keeps up the soul of chearfulness amongst his tenants by maintaining as much as possible the natural equality of mankind on his estate His farms are not large but moderately rented all are at ease and can provide happily for their families none rise to exorbitant wealth The very cottagers are strangers to all that even approaches want when the busier seasons of the year are past he gives them employment in his woods or gardens and finds double beauties in every improvement there when he reflects that from thence
Health to himself and to his infants bread
The labourer bears
Plenty the child of industry smiles on their humble abodes and if any unforeseen misfortune nips the blossoms of their prosperity his bounty descending silent and refreshing as the dews of heaven renews their blooming state and restores joy to their happy dwellings
To say all in one word the maxims by which he governs all the actions of his life are manly benevolent enlarged liberal and his generous passion for the good of others is rewarded by his creator whose approbation is his first point of view with as much happiness to himself as this sublunary state is capable of Adieu
YES I am indeed fond of your Italiano it is the language of Love and the Muses has a certain softness and all thatand by no means difficult to understandat least it is tolerably easy to understand as much of it as I do as much as enables one to be conceited and give ones self airs amongst those who are totally ignorant when this happens I look astonished at the Gothic creatures
Heavens my dear Madam not know Italian how I pity your savage ignorance not know Italian La Lingua DAmore Oh Mirtillo Mirtillo Anima mia
The dear creatures stare and hate one so cordially it is really charmingAnd if one now and then unluckily blunders upon somebody who is more in the secret than ones self a downcast look and Ho vergogna Signora saves all and does credit at once to ones learning and ones modestry Flattered too by so plain a confession of their superiority they give you credit for whatever degree of knowledge you desire and go away so satisfiedand exclaim in all companies
upon my word Lady Anne Wilmot is absolutely an exquisite mistress of Italian only a little too diffident
I am just come from playing at ball in the garden Lord Belmont of the party this sweet old man I am half in love with him though I have no kind of hopes for he told me yesterday that lovely as I was Lady Belmont was in his eyes a thousand times more so How amiable is age like his so condescending to the pleasures of the young so charmed to see them happy he gains infinitely in point of love by this easy goodness and as to respect his virtues cannot fail to command it
Oh a propos to age my Lord says he he is sure I shall be a most agreeable old woman and I am almost of his opinion Adieu creature I can no more
By the way do you know that Harrys Cittadina has taken a prodigious Penchant for me and vows no woman on earth has so much wit or spirit or politesse as Lady Anne Wilmot Something like a glimmering of taste this I protest I begin to think the girl not quite so intolerable
AN unforeseen inevitable misfortune having happened to me for which a too careless oeconomy had left me totally unprovided I find it necessary to sell my estate and quit the country
I could find a ready purchaser in Mr Westbrook who with the merciless rapacity of an exchange broker watches like a harpy the decline of every gentlemans fortune in his neighbourhood in order to seize on his possessions but the tender affection I bear my tenants makes me solicitous to consult their good as much as possible in the sale since my hard fate will not allow me longer to contribute to it myself I will not here say more than that I cannot provide more effectually for their happiness than by selling to your lordship
I am my Lord Your Lordships most Obedient and devoted Servant James Barker
I Am extremely concerned any accident should have happened which makes it possible I should lose from my neighborhood a gentleman of family of so very worthy a character and one I so greatly esteem but I hope means may be found to prevent what would be so extremely regretted by all who have the pleasure of knowing you
As I have always regarded the independent country gentlemen as the strength and glory of this kingdom and the best supports of our excellent constitution no increase of power or property to myself shall ever tempt me to lessen the number of them where it can possibly be avoided If you have resolution to enter on so exact a system of oeconomy as will enable you to repay any sum you may wantin seven years whatever that sum is I shall be most happy in advancing it and will take it back in the manner most easy to you I think I could trace out a plan by which you might retrench considerably in a manner scarce perceptible I will tomorrow morning call upon you when I am riding out when we will talk further on this subject be assured none of the greedy Leviathans of our days can feel half the pleasure in compleating a purchase that I shall do in declining this if I can be so happy as to keep you amongst us Your accepting this without hesitation will be a proof of your esteem which I can never forget as it will shew you think too highly of me to fear my making an ill use hereafter of having had the happiness of doing for you what if we were to change present situations I know you would rejoice in doing for me I have a fund which I call the bank of friendship on which it is my rule to take no interest which you may command to its utmost extent
I am dear Sir Your affectionate friend and obedient servant Belmont
WE have been dining Al fresco in a rustic temple in a wood near the house romanesque simple the pillars trunks of ancient oaks the roof the bark of trees the pavement pebbles the seats moss the wild melody of nature our musick the distant sound of the cascade just breaks on the ear which joined by the chant of the birds the cooing of the doves the lowing of the herds and the gently breathing western breeze forms a concert most divinely harmonious
Really this place would be charming if it was a little more replete with human beings but to me the finest landscape is a dreary wild unless adorned by a few groups of figuresThere are squires indeed well absolutely your squires are an agreable race of people refined sentimental formed for the Belle passion tho it must be owned the squires about Belmont are rational animals compared to those my Caro Sposo used to associate with my Lord has exceedingly humanized them and their wives and daughters are decent creatures which really amazed me at first for you know Bellville there is in general no standing the country misses
Your letter is just brought me all you say of levees and drawing rooms is thrown away
Talk not to me of courts for I disdain
All courts when he is by far be the noise
Of kings and courts from us whose gentle souls
Our kinder stars have steered another way
Yes the rural taste prevails my plan of life is fixed to sit under a hill and keep sheep with Harry Mandeville
O mon Dieu what do I see coming down the avenue is it in woman to resist that equipage Papier mach̩ehighly gildedloves and dovessix long tailed grey Arabiansby all the gentle powers of love and gallantry Fondville himselfthe dear enchanting creaturenay thenpoor Harryall is over with himI discard him this moment and take Fondville for my Cecisbeofresh from Parisjust importedO all ye gods
I left you somewhat abruptly and am returned to fill up my epistle with the adventures of yesterday
The great gates being thrown open and the chariot drawn up to the steps my charming Fondville drest in a suit of lightcolored silk embroidered with silver a hat with a black feather under his arm and a large bouquet of artificial flowers in his buttonhole all Arabia breathing from his well scented handkerchief descended like Adonis from the carr of Venus and full of the idea of his own irresistibility advanced towards the saloonhe advanced not with the doubtful air of a bashful lover intimidated by a thousand tender fears but in a minuet step humming an opera tune and casting a side glance at every looking glass in his way The first compliments being over the amiable creature seated himself by me and begun the following conversation
Well but my dear lady Anne this is so surprizingyour ladyship in Campagna I thought Wilmot had given you a surfeit of the poets Elyziumhorrid retirementhow do yo contrive to kill timetho Harry Mandeville indeeda widow of spirit may find some amusement there
Why really Fondville a pretty fellow does prodigiously soften the horrors of solitude
O nothing so well
And Harry has his attractions
Attractions ah LAmore the fairest eyes of Rome
But pray my dear lord how did the court bear my absence
In despair the very Zephyrs about Versailles have learnt to sigh la belle Angloise
And Miremont
Inconsolable staid away from two operas
Is it possible the dear constant creature how his sufferings touch mebut here is company
Any body one knows
I rather think not
What the good company of the Environs the Arriere ban the Posse Comitatus
Even so my lord
brings down the natives upon us
but to do the creatures justice one shall seldom see tamer savages
Here the door opening Fondville rose with us all and leaning against the wainscoat in an attitude of easy indifference half bowing without deigning to turn his eyes on those who entered the room continued playing my fan and talking to me in a half whisper till all were seated when my dear lady Belmont leading the conversation contrived to make it general till tea being over my lord proposed a walk in the gardens where having trifled away an hour very pleasantly we found musick ready in the saloon at our return and danced till midnight
Lord Viscount Fondville he would not have you omit Viscount for the world left us this morning my lord is extremely polite and attentive to him on the supposition of his being my lover otherwise he must expect no supernumerary civilities at Belmont for as it is natural to value most those advantages one possesses ones self my lord whose nobility is but of the third generation but whose ancestry loses itself in the clouds pays much greater respect to a long line of illustrious ancestors than to the most lofty titles and I am sorry to say my dear Fondvilles pedigree will not stand the test he owes his fortune and rank to the iniquity of his father who was deep in the infamous secret of the South Sea bubble
Tis however a good natured inoffensive lively showy animal and does not flatter disagreeably He owns Belmont not absolutely shocking and thinks lady Julia rather tolerable if she was so happy as to have a little of my spirit and Enjouement Adio
O Ciel what a memory this is not post day You may possibly gain a line or two by this strange forgetfulness of mine
Nothing new but that La Signora Westbrook who visited here yesterday either was or pretended to be taken ill before her coach came and Harry by her own desire attended her home in lady Julias post chaise He came back with so grave an air that I fancy she had been making absolute plain downright love to him her ridiculous fondness begins to be rather perceptible to every body really these city girls are so rapid in their amours they wont give a man time to breath
Once more Adieu
June
I Have just received a letter which makes me the most unhappy of mankind t is from a lady whose fortune is greatly above my most fanguine hopes and whose merit and tenderness deserve that heart which I feel it is not in my power to give her The general complacency of my behaviour to the lovely sex and my having been accidentally her partner at two or three balls has deceived her into an opinion that she is beloved by me and she imagines she is only returning a passion which her superiority of fortune has prevented my declaring How much is she to be pitied my heart knows too well the pangs of disappointed love not to feel most tenderly for the sufferings of another without the additional motive to compassion of being the undesigned cause of those sufferings the severest of which human nature is capable I am embarrassed to the greatest degree not what resolution to take that required not a moments deliberation but how to soften the stroke and in what manner without wounding her delicacy to decline an offer which she has not the least doubt of my accepting with all the eager transport of timid love surprised by unexpected success
I have wrote to her and think I shall send this answer I enclose you a copy of it her letter is already destroyed her name I conceal the honor of a lady is too sacred to be trusted even to the faithful breast of a friend
To Miss
NO words madam can express the warmth of my gratitude for your generous intentions in my favor tho my ideas of probity will not allow me to take advantage of them
To rob a gentleman by whom I have been treated with the utmost hospitality not only of his whole fortune but of what is infinitely more valuable a beloved and amiable daughter is an action so utterly inconsistent with those sentiments of honor which I have always cultivated as even your perfections cannot tempt me to be guilty of I must therefore however unwillingly absolutely decline the happiness you have had the goodness to permit me to hope for and beg leave to subscribe myself
Madam
with the utmost gratitude and most lively esteem your most obliged and devoted servant H Mandeville
I ought perhaps to be more explicit in my refusal of her but I cannot bring myself to shock her sensibility by an appearance of total indifference Surely this is sufficiently clear and as much as can be said by a man sensible of and grateful for so infinite an obligation
You will smile when I own that in the midst of my concern for this lady I feel a secret and I fear an ungenerous pleasure in sacrificing her to lady Julias friendship tho the latter will never be sensible of the sacrifice
Yes my friend every idea of an establishment in the world however remote or however advantageous dies away before the joy of being esteemed by her and at liberty to cultivate that esteem determined against marriage I have no wish no hope but that of being for ever unconnected for ever blest in her conversation for ever allowed uninterrupted unrestrained by nearer ties to hear that enchanting voice to swear on that snowy hand eternal amity to listen to the unreserved sentiments of the most beautiful mind in the creation uttered with the melody of angels Had I worlds I would give them to inspire her with the same wishes
I Cant conceive Bellville what it is that makes me so much the mens taste I really think I am not handsomenot so very handsomenot so handsome as lady Juliayet I dont know how it isI am persecuted to death amongst youthe misfortune to please every bodytis amazingno regularity of featuresfine eyes indeeda vivid blooma seducing smilean elegant forman air of the worldand something extremely well in the Toute ensemblea kind of an agreeable mannereasy spirited Degag̩eand for the understanding--I flatter myself malice itself cannot deny me the beauties of the mind. You might justly say to me what the queen of Sweden said to Mademoiselle le Fevre
with such an understanding are not you ashamed to be handsome
Absolutely deserted Lord and Lady Belmont are gone to town this morning on sudden and unexpected business poor Harrys situation would have been pitiable had not my lord considering how impossible it was for him to be well with us both a Trio sent to Fondville to spend a week here in their absence which they hope will not be much longer Harry who is viceroy with absolute power has only one commission to amuse lady Julia and me and not let us pass a languid hour till their return
O Dio Fondvilles Arabians the dear creature looks uphe bows
That bow might from the bidding of the gods command me
Dont you love quotations I am immensely fond of them a certain proof of erudition and in my sentiments to be a woman of literature is to beIn short my dear Bellville I early in life discovered by the the meer force of genius that there were two characters only in which one might take a thousand little innocent freedoms without being censured by a parcel of impertinent old women those of a Belle Esprit and a Methodist and the latter not being in my style I chose to set up for the former, in which I have had the happiness to succeed so much beyond my hopes that the first question now asked amongst polite people when a new piece comes out is
What does lady Anne Wilmot say of it
A scornful smile from me would damn the best play that ever was wrote as a look of approbation for I am naturally merciful has saved many adull one In short if you should happen to write an insipid poem which is extremely probable send it to me and my Fiat shall crown you with immortality
Oh heavens ÌÊ propos do you know that Bell Martin in the wane of her charms and past the meridian of her reputation is absolutely marryed to sir Charles Canterell Astonishing till I condescend to give the clue She praised his bad verses A thousand things appear strange in human life which if one had the real key are only natural effects of a hidden cause
My dear sir Charles says Bell that divine sapphic of yoursthose melting soundsI have endeavoured to set itBut Orpheus or Amphion aloneI would sing ityet fear to trust my own heartsuch extatic numberswho that has a soul
she sung half a stanza and overcome by the magic force of verse leaning on his breast as if absorbed in speechless transport
she fainted sunk and dyed away
Find me the poet upon earth who could have withstood this He married her the next morning
Oh Ciel I forgot the Caro Fondville I am really inhuman Adieu
Je suis votre amie tres fidelle
I can absolutely afford no more at present
London
June
YOU can have no idea my dear Mr Mandeville how weary I am of being these few days only in town that any one who is happy enough to have a house a cottage in the country should continue here at this season is to me inconceivable but that gentlemen of large property that noblemen should imprison themselves in this smoking furnace when the whole land is a blooming garden a wilderness of sweets when pleasure courts them in her fairest form nay when the sordid god of modern days when interest joins his potent voice when power the best power that of doing good solicits their presence can only be accounted for by supposing them under the dominion of fascination spellcaught by some malicious demon an enemy to human happiness
I cannot resist addressing them in a stanza or two of a poem which deserves to be wrote in letters of gold
Mean time by pleasures sophistry allurd
From the bright sun and living breeze ye stray
And deep in Londons gloomy haunts immurd
Brood oer your fortunes freedoms healths decay
O blind of choice and to yourselves untrue
The young grove shoots their bloom the fields renew
The mansion asks its lord the swains their friend
While he doth riots orgies haply share
Or tempt the gamesters dark destroying snare
Or at some courtly shrine with slavish incense bend
And yet full oft your anxious tongues complain
That careless tumult prompts the rustic throng
That the rude village inmates now disdain
Those homely ties which ruld their fathers long
Alas your fathers did by other arts
Draw those kind ties around their simple hearts
And led in other paths their ductile will
By succours faithful counsel courteous chear
Won them the ancient manners to revere
To prize their countrys peace and heavens due rites fulfill
Can a nobleman of spirit prefer the rude insults of a licentious London rabble the refuse of every land to the warm and faithful attachment of a brave a generous a free and loyal yeomanry in the country Does not interest as well as virtue and humanity prompt them by living on their estates to imitate the heavens which return the moisture they draw from the earth in grateful dews and showers
When I first came to Belmont having been some years abroad I found my tenants poor and dejected scarce able to gain a hard penurious living The neighbouring gentlemen spending two thirds of the year in London and the town which was the market for my estate filled only with people in trade who could scarce live by each other I struck at the root of this evil and by living almost altogether in the country myself brought the whole neighbourhood to do the same I promoted every kind of diversion which soon filled my town with gentlemens families which raised the markets and of consequence the value of my estate my tenants grew rich at the same rents which before they were unable to pay population encreased my villages were full of inhabitants and all around me was gay and flourishing so simple my dear Mr Mandeville are the maxims of true policy but it must be so that machine which has the fewest wheels is certainly most easy to keep in order
Have you had my old men to dine at sixty I admit them to my table where they are always once a fortnight my guests I love to converse with those
whom age and long experience render wise
and in my idea of things it is time to slacken the reins of pride and to wave all sublunary distinctions when they are so near being at an end between us Besides I know by my own feelings that age wants the comforts of life a plentiful table generous wines chearful converse and the notice of those they have been accustomed to revere renews in some degree the fire of youth gives a spring to declining nature and perhaps prolongs as well as enliven the evening of their days Nor is it a small addition to my satisfaction to see the respect paid them by the young of their own rank from the observation of their being thus distinguished by me as an old man I have a kind of interest in making age an object of reverence but were I ever so young I would continue a custom which appears to me not less just than humane
Adieu my esteemed my amiable friend how I envy you your larks and nightingales
POSITIVELY Bellville I can answer for nothing these sylvan scenes are so very bewitching the vernal grove and balmy Zephyr are so favourable to a lovers prayer that if Fondville was any thing but a pretty man about town my situation would be extremely critical
This wicked Harry too has certainly some evil design he forms nothing but enchanting rural parties either a quarr̩e or with others of the young and gay not a maiden aunt has appeared at Belmont since his reign commenced he suffers no ideas to enter our imaginations but those of youth beauty love and the seducing pleasures of the golden age We dance on the green dine at the Hermitage and wander in the woods by moonlight listening to the song of the nightingale or the sweeter notes of that little syren lady Julia whose impassioned sounds would soften the marble heart of a virgin of eightyfive
I really tremble for my fair friend young artless full of sensibility exposed hourly to the charms of the prettiest fellow upon earth with a manner so soft so tender so much in her own romantic way
A rap at my doorFondville is sent for awaycompany at his housesets out immediatelyI must bid the dear creature adieu
I am returned pity me Bellville
The streams the groves the rocks remain
But Damon still I seek in vain
Yes the dear man is gone Harry is retired to write letters and Lady Julia and I are going to take a walk Tete ÌÊ Tete in the wood Jesu Maria a female Tete ÌÊ TeteI shall never go through the operationif we were en confidence indeed it might be bearable but the little innocent fool has not even a secret
Adio
O Mordaunt I am indeed undone I was too confident of my own strength I depended on the power of gratitude and honor over my heart but find them too weak to defend me against such inexpressible loveliness I could have resisted her beauty only but the mind which irradiates those speaking eyesthe melting music of those gentle accents
soft as the fleeces of descending snows
the delicacy yet lively tenderness of her sentimentsthat angel innocencethat winning sweetnessthe absence of her parents and lady Annes coquetry with lord Fondville have given me opportunities of conversing with her which have for ever destroyed my peaceI must tear myself from herI will leave Belmont the moment my lord returnsI am for ever lostdoomed to wretchednessbut I will be wretched aloneI tremble lest my eyes should have discoveredlest pity should involve her in my misery
Great heavens was I not sufficiently unhappy to stab me to the heart I have just received the following letter from lord Belmont
June
THE present member of parliament for being in a state of health which renders his life extremely uncertain it would be very agreable to me if my dear Mr Mandeville would think of offering himself a candidate to succeed him I will however be so plain as to tell him he will have no assistance from me except my wishes and has nothing to trust to but his merits and the name of Mandeville it being a point both of conscience and honor with me never to intermeddle in elections The preservation of our happy constitution depends on the perfect independence of each part of which it is composed on the other two and the moment heaven grant that moment to be far distant when the house of lords can make a house of commons liberty and prerogative will cease to be more than names and both prince and people becomeslaves
I therefore always tho the whole town is mine leave the people to their free and uninfluenced choice never interfering farther than to insist on their keeping themselves as unbyassed as I leave them I would not only withdraw my favor from but prosecute the man who was base enough to take a bribe tho he who offered it was my nearest friend
By this means I have the pleasure also of keeping myself free and at liberty to confer favors where I please so that I secure my own independence by not invading that of others
This conduct I cannot help thinking if general would preserve the ballance of our glorious constitution a ballance of much greater consequence to Britons than the ballance of power in Europe tho so much less the object of their attention In this we resemble those persons who whilst they are busied in regulating the domestic concerns of their neighbours suffer their own to be ruined
But to return from this unintended digression You will perhaps object to what I have proposed that during your fathers life you are not qualified for a seat in parliament I have obviated this objection Lady Mary the only sister of my father has an ample fortune in her own power to dispose of some part of it was originally her own but much the larger part was left her by her lover Sir Charles Barton who was killed in queen Annes wars the very morning before he was to have set out for England to complete his marriage Being the last of his family he had made a will in which he left his estate to lady Mary with a request that if she did not marry she would leave it to one of the name of Mandeville As she loves merit and has the happiness and honor of our house warmly at heart I have easily prevailed on her to settle 500
l
a year on you at present and to leave you a good part of the rest at her death Her design hitherto I will not conceal from you has been to leave her fortune to my daughter of whom she is infinitely fond but Julia has enough and by leaving it to you she more exactly fullfils the will of Sir Charles who tho he has not expressly made the distinction, certainly meant it to a male of the Mandeville name The estate is about 2000
l
a year her own fortune of 14000
l
I shall not oppose her leaving to my daughter
I know too well the generous sentiments of your heart to doubt that in procuring this settlement I give to my country a firm and unshaken patriot at once above dependance on the most virtuous court and the mean vanity of opposing the just measures of his prince from a too eager desire of popularity not that I would have you insensible to praise or the esteem of your country but seek it only by deserving it and tho it be in part the reward let it not be the motive of your actions let your own approbation be your first view and that of others only your second
You may observe my dear Mr Mandeville I only caution you against being led away by youthful vanity to oppose the just measures of your prince I should wrong the integrity of your heart if I supposed you capable of distressing the hands of government for mercenary or ambitious purposes a virtuous senator will regard not men but measures and will concur with his bitterest enemies in every salutary and honest purpose or rather in a public light he will have no enemies but the enemies of his country
It is with caution I give even these general hints far be it from me to attempt to influence your judgment let your opinion be ever free and your own or where your inexperience may want information seek it from the best and most enlightend of mankind your excellent father who has long sat with honor in the same house
Let me now my amiable friend thank you for your obliging attention not only to the ladies of whom I could not doubt your care but of my tenants one of whom writes me word that coming to enquire when I should return with a look of anxiety which shewd my return was of consequence to him you took him aside and enquiring his business found he wanted from an accident which had involved him in a temporary distress to borrow 100
l
for which you gave him a draught on your banker with a goodness and sweetness of manner which doubled the obligation making only one condition which the overflowing of his gratitude has made him unable to keep that it should be a secret to all the world
Can Lady Mary do too much for a man who thus shews himself worthy the name of Mandeville the characteristick of which has ever been the warmest benevolence
Another would perhaps insist on returning the money to you but I will not rob you of the pleasure of making an honest man happy you will however observe that it is this once only I indulge you and that you are the only person from whom I have ever suffered my family for such I esteem all placed by Providence under my protection to receive an obligation tis is a favor I have refused even to your father
Do not answer this I shall possibly be with you before a letter could reach me
Adieu
Can I after this letter my dear Mordaunt entertain a wish for lady Julia without the blackest ingratitude no tho I will not accept his generous offer I can never forget he has made it I will leave BelmontI will forget herwhat have I said forget her I must first lose all sense of my own being
Am I born to know every species of misery I have this moment received a second letter from the lady I once mentiond to you filled with the softest and most affecting expressions of disinterested tenderness indiscreet from excess of affection she adjures me to meet her one moment in the rustic temple where she is waiting for me her messenger is gone and as I will not hazard exposing her by sending my servant I have no choice left but to go Heaven knows how unwillingly should we be seen what an appearance would such a meeting have I left Lady Julia to write letters and on that account excusd myself from attending her yet can I leave her whom love alone has made imprudent to the consequence of her indiscretion and the wild sallies of a mind torn by disappointment and despair I will go but how shall I behold her how tell her pity is all I can return to so generous a passion These trials are too great for a heart like mine tender sympathetic compassionate and softend by the sense of its own sufferings I shall expire with regret and confusion at her sight
OUR party last night did not turn out so much in the stilllife way as I expectedunfortunate that I amtwo rivals at oncela Bellissima Julia has most certainly a penchant for Harrytis absurd for the thing is impossible in the first place I am rather afraid he has a kind of attachment to this creature and in the second I know Lord Belmonts sentiments on this head and that with all his generosity no man breathing has a greater aversion to unequal marriages the difference is so immense in every thing but birth and merit that there remains not a shadow of hope for her But these people of high heroics are above attending to such trifling things as possibilitiesI hope I am mistaken but the symptoms are strong upon her as you shall judge
I left you last night to accompany Lady Julia to the wood we are both so fond of the evening was lovely beyond description and we were engaged in a very lively conversation when as we approached the temple we saw Harry who had just left us on pretence of writing letters come out of it with the detestable Westbrook leaning familiarly on his arm her pert eyes softened into languishment and fixed eagerly on his the forward creature started at seeing us and attempted to fly which Harry prevented and withdrawing his arm from hers as if mechanically advancd slowly towards us with a look so confusd a mien so disorderd so different from that easy air which gives ten thousand graces to the finest form in the world as convinced me that this meeting was not accidental Lady Julia stopd the moment she saw them a deep blush overspread her face she fixed her eyes on the ground and waited their approach silent and unmovd as a statue Not so the cit the creatures assurance and the ease with which she recoverd herself and addressed Lady Julia excited equally my astonishment and indignation She told her she came to wait on her Ladyship and the fineness of the evening had tempted her to leave her coach at the entrance of the wood that as she walked thro she happend to meet Mr Mandeville quite by chance she assured her Ladyship as he would testify Harry disdaind to confirm her falshood even by an assenting look his silence the coldness of his manner with the air of dignity and spirit Lady Julia assumed almost disconcerted her we walkd silently to the house where the girl only stayd till her coach was orderd round and then left us her eyes askd Harrys attendance but he chose not to understand their language
This evening was the only unpleasant one I ever past at Belmont a reserve unknown before in that seat of sincere friendship took place of the sweet confidence which used to reign there and to which it owes its most striking charms we retired earlier than usual and lady Julia instead of spending half an hour in my apartment as usual took leave of me at the door and passed on to her own
I am extremely alarmed for herit would have been natural to have talkd over so extraordinary an adventure with me if not too nearly interestedThere was a constraint in her behaviour to Harry all the eveningan assumd coldnesshis assiduity seemd to displease hershe sighd oftennay once when my eyes met hers I observed a tear ready to startshe may call this friendship if she pleases but these very tender these apprehensive these jealous friendships between amiable young people of different sexes are exceedingly suspicious
It is an hour later than her usual time of appearing and I hear nothing of her I am determined not to indulge this tender melancholy and have sent up to let her know I attend her in the saloon for I often breakfast in my own apartment it being the way here for every body to do whatever they like
Indeed a letter from Lady Juliaa vindicationnay then
guilty upon my honor
Why imagine I suspect herO Conscience
Her extreme fear of my supposing her in love with Harry is a convincing proof that she is tho such is her amiable sincerity that I am sure she shas deceived herself before she would attempt to deceive me but the latter is not so easy sitters by see all the game
She tells me she cannot see me till she has vindicated herself from a suspicion which the weakness of her behaviour yesterday may have caused That she is not sure she has resolution to mention the subject when present therefore takes this way to assure me that tender and lively as her friendship for Mr Mandeville is it is only friendship a friendship which his merit has hitherto justified and which has been the innocent pleasure of her life That born with too keen sensibilities poor thing I pity her sensibilities the ill treatment of her friends wounds her to the soul That zeal for his honor and the integrity of his character which she thinks injured by the mysterious air of last nights adventure her shock at a clandestine and dissembled appointment so inconsistent with that openness which she had always admired in him as well as with the respect due to her now so particularly in her fathers absence under his protection had occasioned that concern which she fears may make her appear to me more weak than she is
In short she takes a great deal of pains to lead herself into an error and struggles in those toils which she will find great difficulty in breaking
Harrys valet has just told my woman his master was in bed but two hours last night that he walked about his room till three and rose again at five and went out on horseback without a servant The poor fellow is frighted to death about him for he is idolized by his servants and this man has been with him from his childhood But adieu I hear Lady Julia upon the stairs I must meet her in the saloon
Eleven oclock
Poor soul I never saw any thing like her confusion when we met she blushed she trembled and sunk half motionless into her chair I made the tea without taking the least notice of her inability to do it and by my easy chit chat manner soon brought her to be a little composed though her eye was often turned towards the door though she started at every sound yet she never asked the cause of Harrys absence which must however surprize her as he always breakfasts below
Foreseeing we should be a very awkward party to day a Trio I sent early in the morning to ask three or four very agreeable girls about two miles off to come and ramble all day with us in the woods happily for poor Lady Julia they came in before we had done breakfast and I left them to go and look at some shellwork whilst I came up to finish my letter
Harry is come back and has sent to speak with me I am really a person of great consequence at present I am in a very ill humor with him he may well be ashamed to appear however the worst of criminals deserves to be heard I will admit him he is at the door Adio
GREAT heaven what a night have I past all other fears give way before that of displeasing her Yes let me be wretched but let her not suppose me unworthy let her not see me in the light of a man who barters the sentiments of his soul for sordid views of avarice or ambition and using means proportioned to the baseness of his end forges a falsehood to excuse his attendance on her seduces an heiress to give him clandestine assignations and in a place guarded doubly guarded at this time by the sacred and inviolable laws of hospitality from such unworthy purposes
I will clear my conduct though at the hazard of exposing her whose love for me deserves a different treatment let her be the victim of that indiscretion by which she has ruined meand can I be thus baseCan I betray the believing unsuspecting heartmy mind is distractedbut why do I say betray I know Lady Annes greatness of mind and for Lady Juliayes the secret will be as safe with them as in my own bosom
Shall I own all my folly I cannot though she shall never know my passion for herself support one moment the idea of Lady Julias imagining I love another
I will go to Lady Anne as soon as she is up and beg her to convince her lovely friend my meeting this Lady was accidental I will not if I can avoid it say more
I cannot see her before this explanation I will ride out and breakfast with some friend I would not return till they are gone back to their apartments that I may see Lady Anne alone
Twelve oclock
Lady Anne has probed me to the quick I have trusted her without reserve as to this affair I have begged her to vindicate me to Lady Julia who is walking in the garden with some ladies of the neighborhood we are going to follow them I am to take the ladies aside whilst Lady Anne pleads my cause she calls me Farewell
Twelve at Night
She forgives me and I am most happy Lady Anne has told her all and has had the goodness to introduce me to her as we walked unobserved by the ladies who were with us I have kissed her hand as a seal of my pardon That moment O Mordaunt with what difficulty did I restrain the transport of my soul
Yes my friend she forgives me a sweet benign serenity reigns in her lovely eyes she approves my conduct she is pleased with the concern I show at giving pain to the heart which loves me her chearfulness is returned and has restored mine she rules every movement of my heart as she pleases never did I pass so happy a day I am all joy no sad idea can enter I have scarce room even for the tender compassion I owe to her I have made wretched I am going to bed but without the least expectation of sleep joy will now have the same effect as I last night found from a contrary cause Adieu
I Have reconciled the friends the scene was amazingly pathetic and pretty I am only sorry I am too lazy to describe it He kissed her hand without her showing the least symptom of anger she blushed indeed but if I understand blushesin short times are prodigiously changed
The strange misses were of infinite use as they broke the continuity of the tender scene if I may be allowed the expression which however entertaining to Les Amies would have been something sickly to my Ladyship if it had lasted
And now having united it must be my next work to divide them for seriously I am apt to believe the dear creatures are in immense danger of a kind of Penchant for each other which would not be quite so convenient
I have some thoughts being naturally sentimental and generous of taking Harry myself meerly from compassion to Lady Julia Widows you know are in some degree the property of handsome young fellows who have more merit than fortune and there would be something very heroic in devoting myself to save my friend I always told you Bellville I was more an antique Roman than a Briton But I must leave you I hear Lady Julia coming to fetch me we breakfast a Trio in a bower of roses
O heavens the plot begins to thickenLucretias daggerRosamondas bowlHarry has had a letter from his charmervows she cant live without himdetermined to die unless the barbarous man relentsThis cruel Harry will be the death of us all
Did I tell you we were going to a ball tonight six or seven miles off She has heard it and intends to be there tells him she shall there expect the sentence of life or death from his lovely eyes the signal is appointed if his savage heart is melted and he pities her sufferings he is to dance with her and be master of her divine person and eighty thousand pounds tomorrow if notbut she expires at the ideashe entreats him to soften the cruel stroke and not give a mortal wound to the tenderest of hearts by dancing with another
You would die to see Harrys distressso anxious for the tender creatures life so incensed at his own wicked attractions so perplext how to pronounce the fatal sentencefor my part I have had the utmost difficulty to keep my countenanceLady Julia who was to have been his partner sighing with him over the letter intreating him not to dance pitying the unhappy lovesick
her fine eyes glisstering with a tear of tender sympathy
The whole scene is too ridiculous to be conceived and too foolish even to laugh at I could stand it no longer so retired and left them to their soft sorrows
You may talk of women but you men are as much the dupes of your own vanity as the weakest amongst us can be Heaven and earth that with Harrys understanding and knowledge of the world he can be seriously alarmed at such a letter I thought him more learned in the arts
of wilful woman laboring for her purpose
Nor is she the kind of woman I think I know more of the nature of love than to imagine her capable of it If there was no other lover to be had indeedbut he is led astray by the dear selfcompleacency of contemplating the surprizing effects of his own charms
I see he is shocked at my insensibility and fancies I have a most unfeeling heart but I may live to have my revenge Adio I am going to my toilet
Now awful beauty puts on all its arms
Five oclock
The coach is at the door Harry is drest for execution always elegant he is today studiously so a certain proof to be sure that his vanity is weaker than his compassion he is however right if she must die he is to be commended for looking as well as he can to justify a passion which is to have such fatal effects he sees I observe his dress and has the grace to blush a little Adio Caro
WE are again at Belmont But Oh how changed all our heroicks destroyedpoor Harry I cant look at him without laughing
Our journey thither was pensive our conversation sentimental we entered the ball room trembling with apprehension where the first object which struck our eyes was the tender lovesick dying maid listening with the most eager attention to Fondville who was at the very moment kissing her hand her whole soul in her eyes her heart fiuttering with a pleasure which she could not conceal and every feature on the full stretch of coquetry
An involuntary frown clouded the lovely countenance of my Harry which was not lessened by his observing a malicious smile on mine he advanced however towards her when she not doubting his design was to ask her to dance told him in a faltering voice with a mixed air of triumph and irresolution her eyes fixed on her son that she was engaged to Lord Fondville
Harry was thunderstruck a glow of indignation flushed his cheek and he left her without deigning to make her any reply which I observing and fearing she might misinterpret his silence and that the idea of his supposed disappointment might flatter the creatures vanity took care to explain to her that he was engaged to Lady Julia before we came a piece of information which made her feel to the quick even through the pleasure of dancing with a Lord a pleasure which has inconceivable charms for a citizens daughter and which love itself, or what she pleases to call love could not enable her to resist
The attention of all the company was now turned on Harry and Lady Julia who were dancing a minuet the beauty of their persons the easy dignity of their air the vivid bloom of their cheeks the spirit which shone in their eyes the inimitable graces of their movement which received a thousand additional charms from what I hope no one observed but myself their desire of pleasing each other gave me an idea of perfection in dancing which never before entered my imagination all was still as night not a voice not a motion through the whole assembly The spectators seemed afraid even to breathe lest their attention should be one moment suspended Envy herself seemed dead or to confine her influence to the bosom of Miss Westbrook The minuet ended a murmur of applause ran through the room which by calling up her blushes gave a thousand new charms to Lady Julia which I observed to the cit adding also aloud that it was impossible any body should think of dancing minuets after them in which sentiment every body concurring we began country dances Harry never looked so lovely his beauty and the praises lavished on him having awakened a spark of that flame which her ambition had stifled for a moment the girl endeavord at the beginning of the evening to attract his notice but in vain I had the pleasure to see him neglect all her little arts and treat her with an air of unaffected indifference which I knew must cut her to the soul She then endeavored to pique him by the most flaming advances to Fondville which knowing your capricious sex as I do rather alarmed me I therefore determined to destroy the effect of her arts by playing off in opposition a more refined species of coquetry which turned all Fondvilles attention on myself and saved Harry from the snare she was laying for him a snare of all others the hardest to escape
When I saw I had by the most delicate flattery chained Fondville to my carr for the night and by playing off a few quality airs inspired him with the strongest contempt for his city partner I threw myself into a chair where affecting an excess of languor and fatigue and wondering at the amazing constitutions of the country ladies I declared my intention of dancing no more
Sir Charles Mellifont who danced with me sat down on one side and Fondville on the other pouring forth a rhapsody of tender nonsense vowing all other women were only foils to me envying Sir Charless happiness and kissing my hand with an affection of transport which pleased me as I saw it mortified the cit who sat swelling with spite in a window near us in a situation of mind which I could almost have pitied
I sat a full hour receiving the homage of both my adorers my head reclined and my whole person in an attitude of the most graceful negligence and inattention when observing the Cittadina ready to faint with envy and indignation turning my eye carelessly on her O heavens Fondville said I you are an inhuman creature you have absolutely forgot your partner then starting up with Sir Charles rejoined the dance with an air of easy impertinence which she could not stand but burst into tears and withdrew
You must know this affair was all of my contriving I was determined to try the reality of the girls passion to quiet Harrys conscience as to cruelty of rejecting her suit and remove those apprehensions for her life which seemed so infinitely to distress him
Full of these ideas, I wrote by one of my servants to Fondville immediately after Harry communicated to us the Cittadinas tragedy letter commanding him to be at this ball drest for conquest to enquire out Miss Westbrook whom he had never seen to pretend a sudden and violent passion for her and to entreat the honor of being her partner that it was a whim I had taken into my head that I would explain my reasons another time but insisted on his implicit obedience
He came he saw he conquered
as I imagined he would
I knew her rage for title tinsel and people of a certain rank
and that Fondville was exactly calculated for the meridian of her taste understanding and education The overcharged splendor of his dress and equipage must have infinite advantages with one who had so long breathed city air over the genuine elegance of Harry Mandevilles nor was it possible in the nature of things for the daughter of an exchange broker to prefer even personal perfection to the dazzling blaze of a coronet Harrys charms gave way before the flattering idea of a title and the gentle God resigned his place to the greater power Ambition
Things to be sure have taken rather a disagreeable turn but she must thank her own inconstancy and be content for the future with making love to one man at a time
I have only one more scene of mortification in view for her and my malice will be satisfied I would invite her to a ball at Belmont let Harry dance with Lady Julia take Fondville myself and pair her with the most disagreeable fellow in the room
You have no notion how Harrys vanity is hurt though he strives all he can to hide it piqued to death just like one of us who are pleased with the love though we dislike the lover he begins to think it possible she may survive his cruelty
Lady Julia is all astonishment had no idea of such levitythe amiable ignoranthow little she knows usthe character of half the sex Adio I am going with Lady Julia to pay some morning visits in the environs
Three oclock
Till this morning I had no notion how much Lord and Lady Belmont were beloved or to speak with more propriety adored in their neighborhood the eager enquires of the good ladies after their return their warm expressions of esteem and veneration are what you can scarce conceive the swell of affection which their presence restrained now breaks forth with redoubled impetuosity
There are really a great many agreeable people hereabouts Belmont is the court of this part of the world and employs its influence as every court ought to do in bringing virtue politeness and elegant knowledge into fashion How forcible how irresistible are such examples in superior life who can know Lord and Lady Belmont without endeavoring to imitate them and who can imitate them without becoming all that is amiable and praise worthy
Do you know Bellville I begin extremely to dislike myself I have good qualities and a benevolent heart but have exerted the former so irregularly and taken so little pains to rule and direct the virtuous impulses of the latter that they have hitherto answered very little purpose either to myself or others I feel I am a comet shining but useless or perhaps destructive whilst Lady Belmont is a benignant star
But for heavens sake how came the spirit of reflexion to seize me There is something in this airO Cielo una CarrozzaÓmy dear Lord Belmont I flyÓAdio
THEY are come the impatient villagers crowd the hall eager to behold them transport in every eye whilst the noble pair scarce retain the tender tear of glowing benevolence How lovely a picture was the audience they come from giving how sweet the intercourse of warm beneficence and ardent gratitude my heart melted at the sight This evening is devoted to joyÓI aloneÓO Mordaunt have I known this paradise only to be driven for ever from it
I cannot to night mention leaving Belmont to morrow I will propose it I am in doubt where to go my father is absent from camp on a visit of a fortnight to the Duke of Ó his Colonel I have some thoughts of going to Lord TÓs till his return perhaps I may come to town all places but this are equal to me yet I must leave it I am every moment more sensible of my danger yes Mordaunt I love her I can no longer deceive myself I love her with the fondest passion friendship is too cold a name for what I feel too cold for charms like hers to inspire yet heaven is my witness I am incapable of a wish to her disadvantage her happiness is my first my only objectÓI know not what I would sayÓwhy does fortune for ever oppose the tender union of hearts
MY Lord has brought us a thousand presents a thousand books a thousand trinkets all in so exquisite a tasteÓHe is the sweetest man in the world certainlyÓSuch delight in obligingTis happy for you he is not thirty years younger and disengaged I should infallibly have a passionHe has brought Harry the divinest horse we have been seeing him ride
spring from the ground like featherd Mercury
you can have no conception how handsome he looks on horsebackpoor Lady Julias little innocent heartI cant say I was absolutely insensible myselfyou know I am infinitely fond of beauty and vastly above dissembling it indeed it seems immensely absurd that one is allowed to be charmd with living perfection in every species but our own and that there one must admire only dead colours one may talk in raptures of a lifeless Adonis and not of a breathing Harry Mandeville Is not this a despicable kind of prudery For my part I think natures coloring vastly preferable to the noblest attempts of art and am not the less sensible to the graces of a fine form because it is animated Adieu we are going to dine at the hermitage Lord Belmont is to be my Cecisbeo
HOW inconsistent is the human mind I cannot leave Belmont I cannot give up the delight of beholding her I fancy a softness in her manner which raises the most flattering ideas she blushes when her eyes meet mineTho I see the madness of hope I indulge it in spite of myself No one can deserve her yet as Lord Belmont honors me with his esteem I would persuade myself fortune alone forbidsI will struggle with impossibilities I have many and powerful friends we have a prince in the early prime of life the season of generous virtue a prince to whom the patriot glow and that disinterested loyalty which is almost my whole inheritance cannot but be the strongest recommendations to him it may be merit to have suffered when the basest of the people rose on the ruins of their country those ample possessions which would have descended to me and might have raised my hopes to the most angelic of womankind were gloriously spent in endeavouring to support the throne when shook by the rage of faction and narrowminded bigotted enthusiasm the younger branch of our family escaped the storm by having a minor at its head to this accident the partiality of an ancestor and the military talents of his father lord Belmont owes the affluence he so nobly enjoys and which I only of all mankind have cause to regret
These circumstances raise a flattering hopemy views are confused but I will pursue the track If I succeed I may openly avow my passion if not the secret of my love shall die with me never my friend will I attempt her heart by unworthy means let me endeavour to deserve and leave to heaven to determine whether I shall possess the noblest gift it has to bestow
Farewel
I Have heard from my father on the subject of Lady Marys intended settlement who extremely disapproves my intention of entirely declining it which he thinks cannot be founded on any motives worthy of me but on a false pride of disdaining to be obliged which is in this case unjust and greatly below my character that I might as well object to receiving a part of his estate which he intends to settle on me at the same time he says Lord Belmont acts properly and consistently with himself and does not at all mean to break in on that independence which can never be too highly valued that Lady Julia would scarce perceive such an addition to her already splendid fortune whilst this settlement fixes in some degree of affluence the elder branch of the family which lost its superiority by the injustice of an ancestor and that heroic loyalty which has ever characterized our house That he will talk further with me on this subject when we meet but in the mean time advises me as a friend zealous for my interest yet not the less attentive to my honor and the propriety of my conduct to accept the immediate settlement of 500
l
a year which will enable me to be serviceable to my country but to postpone to some distant time settling the whole and to insist that Lady Mary be convinced I deserve her friendship before she lavishes it so profusely on me
This advice gives me pleasure as it coincides with my own present sentiments eager to pursue my scheme of rising to such consequence as may justify my hopes of the only event desirable to me in this world I am happy in the thought of appearing in every light in which I can attract the notice of my prince and by steadily serving him and my country whose true interest must ever be the same deserve that favor on which all my designs are founded
The time not being yet arrived when I can serve the noblest cause in the senate I will go to Germany and endeavour first to signalize myself in the manner most suited to my period of life the season of action not of counsel it is shameful at my age to recline in the flowery bower of indolence when the whole world is in arms I have not yet begun to live my time has hitherto been less passd in acting than in preparing to act my part on the great theatre of human life
O Mordaunt should I succeed in my views should the hour come when I may openly avow my passion for the most lovely of womankind this is the sweet hope which fires my soul and animates me to the glorious pursuit Why do closeted moralists strangers to the human heart rail indiscriminately at love when inspired by a worthy object it leads to every thing that is great and noble warmed by by the desire of being approved by her there is nothing I would not attempt I will today write to my father for his consent and embark immediately for the army
I have just received your letter you call my design madness the light in which every animated purpose will appear to minds inactive unimpassioned and sunk in the lethargic calm of lifeless tranquillityMordaunt you speak the cold language of a heart at rest talk not of impossibilities nothing is impossible to a soul impelled by the most lively of all passions and ardent in a pursuit on which its whole happiness depends nothing is impossible to him who aspires to please the most lovely the most amiable the most exalted of her sex
I feel I know I shall be successful I ask not advice but declare my settled purpose I am already determined and if your friendship be warm as mine you will not torture me by further opposition My father alone has power to change my resolution but it is a power he will not exert I shall ask his permission but inform him at the same time that by refusing he cuts off all the hope of my future days and chains me down to a life of tasteless insensibility
I know him well he will advise he will remonstrate if he disapproves but he will leave me that freedom of choice which is the inherent right of every rational being and which he never in one instance invaded when I was much less capable of judging for myself
Fearful however lest he should disapprove my passion for Lady Julia I shall not declare it to him at present but as I never will even tacitly deceive him I shall tell him I have a motive to this design which I beg his leave to conceal from him till I have a prospect of success
I this morning mentioned leaving Belmont but my Lord insists on my staying a few days longer which are devoted to domestic happiness I cannot refuse without making him suspect some latent cause nor will it make any difference in my plan since I must wait somewhere an answer from my father which will reach Belmont about the time I shall now leave it Tomorrow sennight expect me in town I shall stay but two nights I need little preparation my equipage and attendance are already greatly beyond my fortune and rather suited to what you call the madness of my expectations my father the most generous of mankind has always proportioned my expences more to my birth than his moderate income as my companions have ever been of the first rank he has supported me greatly above myself and on a full equality with them lest I should be dazzled to mean compliances with their faults by the false splendor they might receive from a superiority in these outward distinctions
Did I tell you Lord Belmont had presented me with a beautiful Arabian horse which he bought when in town What delight has he in giving pleasure to others what addition if that can admit addition to the happiness of the man who is blest with Lady Julia will it be to be so nearly allied to worth like Lord Belmonts
O Mordaunt were it possibleit is it mustI will not give room to the faintest idea of disappointment
Adieu I have this moment a letter from my father which I must answer to night
RoseberryHouse
IT gives me the warmest pleasure my dear son to find you are pleased with the expensive education I have given you though it reduces your fortune considerably below what it might otherwise have been I considered that wealth if necessary to happiness which I do not believe might be acquired but that the flying hours of youth the season of instruction are never to be recalled
I have the happiness to see you reward and justify my cares by a generous freedom of thinking and nobleness of sentiment which the common methods of education might have crampt or perhaps totally destroyd It has always appeared to me that our understandings are fettered by systems and our hearts corrupted by example and that there needs no more to minds well disposed than to recover their native freedom and think and act from themselves Full of this idea I have instructed you how but never what to think I have pointed out the road which leads to truth but have left you to discover her abode by your own strength of mind even on the most important of all subjects I have said no more than that conviction must be on the side of that religion which teaches the purest and most benevolent morality is most conducive to the general happiness of mankind and gives the most sublime idea of the Deity
Convinced that the seeds of virtue are innate I have only watched to cherish the rising shoots and prune but with a trembling hand the too luxuriant branches
By virtue I would here be understood to mean not a partial attention to any one duty of life but that rectitude of heart which leads us to fulfil all as far as the frailty of human nature will permit and which is a constant monitor of our faults Confucius has well observed that virtue does not consist in never erring which is impossible but in recovering as fast as we can from our errors
With what joy my dearest Harry did I early see in you that warmth oftemper which is alone productive of every extraordinary exertion of the human mind the proper soil of genius and the virtues that heat from which light is inseparable
I have only one fear for you inured to a habit of profuse expence I dread your being unable to practice that frugality which will now be indispensable To lady Marys intended settlement I will add a third of my estate but even that is below your birth and the manner of life to which you are habituated But why do I doubt you I know your generosity of spirit and scorn of every species of slavery that you will not descend to be indebted to withhold a moment the price of laborious industry or lessen the honest profit of the trader by a delay yet more destructive to yourself than to him
Intended to become a part of the legislative power you are doubly bound to keep yourself from all temptation of corruption or dependence by living within your income the amplest estate is wretched penury if exceeded by the expences of its possessor
Need I say more to recommend oeconomy to a spirit like yours than that it is the fountain of liberality and the parent of independence
You enquire after the place where I am it is except Belmont the sweetest spot I ever beheld but in a different style the situation is rather beautiful than magnificent There is a mild elegance a refined simplicity in the air of all around strongly expressive of the mind of its amiable possessor a poetic wildness a luxuriant glow like that of primeval nature adorned by the hand of the Graces
The same spirit of liberty breathes here as with you we are all perfectly at home our time is subject to no restraint but that which our desire of obliging each other makes a voluntary imposition
I am now alone sitting in an arbour attentive to the lively chant of the birds who swell their little throats with a morning hymn of gratitude to their creator whilst I listen I think of those sweet lines of Cowley
All round the little winged choir
Pathetic tender thoughts inspire
With ease the inspiration I obey
And sing as unconcernd and as well pleasd as they
Tis yet early day the flocks and herds are spreading over the distant meadows and joining the universal song of praise to the beneficent Lord of nature.
Rejoicing in the general joy I adore the God who has expanded so wide the circle of happiness and endeavour to regulate my own desires by attending to the simplicity of theirs
When I see the dumb creation my dear Harry pursuing steadily the purposes of their being their own private happiness and the good of their peculiar species I am astonished at the folly and degeneracy of man who acts in general so directly contrary to both for both are invariably united
The wise and benevolent creator has placed the supreme felicity of every individual in those kind domestic social affections which tend to the wellbeing of the whole Whoever presumes to deviate from this plan the plan of God and nature shall find satiety regret or disappointment his reward
I this moment receive your letter you judge perfectly well in saying there is an activity and restlessness in the mind of man which makes it impossible for him to be happy in a state of absolute inaction some point of view some favourite pursuit is necessary to keep the mind awake Tis on this principle alone one can account for what seems so extraordinary to the eyes of impartial reason that avarice and ambition should be the vices of age that men should most ardently pursue riches and honours at the time when they have the least prospect of enjoying them the lively passions of youth subsiding some active principle must be found to replace them and where that warm benevolence of heart is wanting which is a perpetual source of ever new delight I do not wonder they engage in the chase of wealth and power though sure so soon to melt from their grasp
The first purpose of my heart next to that superior and general one of making myself acceptable to my creator was to render the most angelic of women your lovely mother happy in that heaven was pleased to disappoint my hopes by taking her to itself; my second has been to make you the most amiable of men in which I am not afraid to say to yourself I have been successful beyond my most sanguine wishes
Adieu my dear son may you succeed in every purpose of your soul as fully as I have done in this and be as happy as your virtues have made your father
O heavens Bellville Nay there is absolutely no resisting a man that carries one off Since you have mentioned the thing I shall not abate you a scruple There is no saying how charming it will be let common beauties inspire whining submissive respectful passions but let meheaven earth to be run away with at fourandtwentya paragraph in the papers
Yesterday the celebrated lady Anne Wilmot was forcibly carried off by a gentleman who had long in vain deprecated her pity if any thing can excuse so atrocious an action the unrivalled beauty of the lady
Dear Bellville when do you begin your adventure
But in sober sadness how come you so flippant on the sudden Thus it is with you all use you ill and not a spaniel can be more under command but the least encouragement quite ruins you There is no saying a civil thing but you presume upon ones favour so intolerably
Why yes as you say the hours past pleasantly enough at Sudley farm Pretty rural scenes tender Platonic chat perfect confidence the harmony of souls in unison infinite flattery on your side and implicit belief on mine the sprightly god of love gave wings to the rapid hours The gentle Muses tooI think Bellville you are a pretty enough poet for a man of fashion flowery mild not overburdened with ideas
O can you forget the fond hours
When all by yon fountain we strayd
I wish I could remember the rest but you are a cruel creature never will leave me a copy of any thing, dreading the severity of my criticism nay you are right yours are excellent verses as Moliere says to lock up in your bureau
Nine at Night
Peace to the gentle spirit of him who invented cards the very bond of peace and cement of society
After a philosophical enquiry into the
summum bonum
I find it to consist in play the more sublime pleasures require relaxation are only for holyday wear come but now and then and keep the mind too much expanded all other delights all other amusements pall but play dear divine seraphic play is always new The same today tomorrow and for ever
It reconciles parties removes distinctions and restores what my lord calls the natural equality of mankind
I have only one fault to find with it that for the time it extremely weakens or rather totally suspends the impressions of beauty the finest woman in the world whilst at the cardtable is regarded by the most susceptible man only as a being which is to lose its money
You will imagine success produced these wise reflexions yes we have been playing a most engaging pool at quadrille in the wood where I have with the utmost composure won an immensity If I go on thus all objections to our union will be removed I shall be literally a fortune in myself
Without vanity I have some little skill in the game but at present there is no great degree of merit in winning of the friends who happened to be of my party with an absurd conceited squire who loves quality and thinks it the greatest honor in the world that I will condescend to win his money We had four tables under the shade of a spreading oak
I can no more
Adieu
We have had a penitential letter from the Cittadina with another from Papa offering 30000
l
at present and 50000
l
at his death on condition lord Belmont will get Harry an Irish title knows its a bad match but wont baulk his girls fancy and besides considers Harry has good blood in his veins we rejected it politely but with a little of the Mandeville stateliness
O Heavens Fondvilles valetA billetdouxI shall be cruelThis murderous formI must absolutely hide myself or wear a mask in pity to mankindMy Lord has taken the letterHe brings it meHe is on the stairsHow gone on to lady Belmonts apartmentA billet and not to meWhat can it meanCan the dear man be false
The infidel Yes he has left meforgot his vowsThis bewitching lady Julia it is really an heroic exertion of virtue not to hate her Could you have thought it possiblebut read his cruel letter
YOUR Lordship will be perhaps surprizedYet why surprized Lady Julia is absolutely an immense fine creature and though marriage to those who know life cannot but seem an impertinent affair and what will subject me to infinite ridicule yet custom and what one owes to ones rank and keeping up a family
In short my Lord people of a certain consequence being above those romantic views which pair the vulgar I chose rather to apply to your Lordship than the Lady and flatter myself my estate will bear the strictest inspection not but that I assure your Lordship I set a due value on Lady Julias charms and though I have visited every court in Europe and seen all that is lovely in the Beau sexe never yet beheld the fair whom I would so soon wish to see fill the rank of Lady Viscountess Fondville as her Ladyship
If my pretensions are so happy as to be favorably received by your Lordship I will beg leave to wait on Lady Julia tomorrow and my lawyer shall attend your Lordships wherever and whenever you please to appoint Believe me my Lord with the most perfect devotion
Your Lordships most Obedient and very Humble Servant Fondville
I Am the last man in the world to whom it was necessary to apologize for an intention of entering into a state which I have experienced is productive of such exquisite felicity
My daughters choice is perfectly free nor shall I ever do more than advise her in an affair of such consequence to herself but from what I know of her character think it highly improbable she should approve the pretensions of a man who professes being above those tender affections which alone can make happy sensibility like hers
Allow me to take the liberty of observing in answer to the latter part of your Lordships letter that there are few ranks which Lady Julia Mandeville has not a right to fill I am my Lord
Your Lordships most Obedient and devoted Servant Belmont
Dont come to Belmont I charge you I shall have this invincible Lady Julia seduce you too Besides I have some reasons why I chuse our attachment should not yet come to a crisis till when I will take Lady Belmonts advice and be prudent obey in silence let me have no more sighs till the milder influence of the heavens dispose me to be gracious I am always in good humor in Autumn your sate may possibly be determined in little more than a month ask no questions suspend your passion or at least the outward expression of it and write to me in Amico Adieu
I Have been riding alone with Lord Belmont this morning a pleasure I very often enjoy and on which I set infinite value in those hours of perfect confidence I am certain of being instructed and amused by a train of ideas uncommon enlarged noble benevolent and adapted to inspire me with a love of virtue by showing her in her native charms I shall be all my life the wiser and worthier man for the hours I have passed at Belmont
But O Mordaunt shall I be the happiest that is in the bosom of futurity a thousand times have I been tempted in these hours of indulgent friendship to open all my heart to Lord Belmont
I know his contempt of wealth and how little he thinks it conducive to happiness
Heaven
said he to me this very morning
has blest me with affluence I am thankful and endeavor to deserve by applying an ample portion of it to the purposes of beneficence But for myself my pleasures are of so unexpensive and simple a kind that a diminution of fortune would take very little from my private felicity Health content the sweets of social and domestick life the only enjoyments suited to the nature of man are and ought to be within the reach of all the species: yes my dear Mr Mandeville it gives a double relish to all my pleasures to reflect that they are such as every man may enjoy if he will
Can this man my dear Mordaunt sacrifice the real happiness of his child the calm delight of domestic friendship on which he sets such value himself to the gaudy trappings of tasteless grandeur Did she approve my passion I should hope every thing from the most indulgent of fathers
He has refused Lord Fondville for Lady Julia whose fortune is as large as avarice itself could desire Good heaven that such a man without one other recommendation without a soul to taste even the charms of her person can aspire to all that can be imagined of perfection
O Ciel I faint what a world do we live in How many unavoidable enemies to enjoyment It is sometimes too cold sometimes too hot to be happy One is never pleased a week together I shall absolutely grow a snarling philosopher and find fault with every thing
These unconscionable lovers have dragged me cross an open meadow exposed to the suns burning raysno mercy on my complexionLady Julia sure for her own sakeyet she is laughing at my distress I am too languid to say moreO for a cooling breeze
The whispering zephyr and the purling rill
We are going to have an addition to our group of friends Emily Howard daughter to the late dean of a distant relation and rector of the parish being expected tomorrow at Belmont she is Lady Julias friend in the most emphatical sense of the word Do you know I feel extremely inclined to be jealous of her and am angry with myself for such meanness
SHE is come this redoubtable Emily Howard and I find I have only a second place in Lady Julias friendship I would hate her if I could but it is really impossible she is so gentle she steals ones affection imperceptibly and one has the vexation to be foced to love her in spite of ones self
She has been here three days and in that short time she has gained amazingly upon my heart her person is little finely proportioned and delicate almost to fragility her voice and manner soft and timid her countenance a mixture of innocence and sweetness which would disarm the rage of a tyger her heart is tender kind compassionate and tremblingly awake to friendship of which she is universally the object: Lady Julia doats on her nor am I surprized at it she appears so weak so helpless so exquisitely feminine it seems cruelty not to be her friend no one ever saw her without wishing her happiness the love one has for her seems of a peculiar species or most nearly resembles that instinctive fondness one feels for a beautiful child it is independent of esteem for one loves her before one knows her It is the pleasantest kind of affection that can be conceived
Yet though she is extremely handsome or rather to suit the expression to her form extremely pretty she is very little the taste of men her excessive modesty renders both her beauty and understanding in some degree useless to her
not obvious not obtrusive
she escapes the the observation of common eyes and though infinitely lovely I never heard she was beloved
For this very reason the women do her ample justice she is no womans rival stands in nobodys way which cannot fail of exciting a general good will towards her in her own sex they even allow her more beauty than she really has and take a delight in setting her charms in opposition to every impertinent thing the men are fond of Yes
the girl is very well but nothing to Emily Howard
is the common cry on the appearance of a new beauty
There is another strong reason for loving her tho exact in her own conduct she has an indulgence to that of others which is a consequence of her excessive gentleness of temper and her seeing every action on the favourable side one could own ones greatest weakness to her almost without blushing and at this very moment I dare say Lady Julia is confessing to her her passion for Harry Mandeville who is riding out with my lord I dare say she would find an excuse for my indiscretion in regard to you and see only the delicacy of our friendship
She sings and dances angelically but she blushes to death if you tell her so
Such gentle unassuming characters as these make the most agreeable friends in the world they are the mild green of the soul on which it rests itself from more glaring objects one may be absurd one may be vain one may be imprudent secure of being heard with indulgence I know nothing which would make her more what I mean but her being a fool however the indulgent sweetness of her temper answers almost the same purpose
I am disconsolate that the Caro Enrico is going to desert us but the cruel man is inflexible to all my soft perswasions and determined to leave us on Wednesday
Adieu
The sweet Emily is going on Thursday for ten days to Sir George Martins and then returns to finish the summer here
O do you know that I am credibly informed her favorite Suivante having told it to one who told it to another who told it to a good old gossiping lady who told it to me that the Cittadina who has in vain wrote Harry a penitential letter is playing off the same arts the same dying airs to Fondville which had such extreme ill success with him the siege is at present suspended not by his addressing Lady Julia which is a profound secret to her and every body without these walls but by his mothers death which has called him hastily to town and which by the way adds 2000
l
a year to his income Do you know that I think the thing may do if Lady Julia continues cruel they are absolutely formed for each other and it would be a thousand pities to part them
CERTAINLY next to a new lover the pleasantest thing upon earth is a new friend let antediluvians take seven years to fix but for us insects of an hour nothing can be more absurd by the time one has tryd them on these maxims ones taste for them is worn out I have made a thousand friendships at first sight and sometimes broke them at the second there is a certain exertion of soul a lively desire of pleasing which gives a kind of volatile spirit to a beginning acquaintance which is extremely apt to evaporate Some people make a great merit of constancy and it is to be sure a very laudable virtue but for my part I am above dissembling My friendships wear out like my clothes but often much faster
Not that this is the case in regard to Emily Howard no really I think this Penchant is very likely to be lasting may probably hold out the summer
Tomorrow when Harry leaves us my Lord to divert our chagrin takes us with three strange belles and five most engaging beaux a ramble I cannot tell whither
O heavens one of our male animals has disappointed us Absolutely I shall insist on Harrys attendance he shall defer his journey I am resolved there is no supporting a scarcity of beaux
He goes with us Lady Julias eyes have prevailed she had seduced him before I went down his chaise is ordered back to wait for ours
Adio Carissimo
I AM still here when shall I have strength of mind to go not having heard from my father in the time I expected I was determined to go to Lord Ts whose zeal for my interest and great knowledge of mankind makes him the properest person I can consult My chaise was this morning at the door when my Lord told me Lady Julia intreated my stay a few days longer she blushd and with the loveliest confusion confirmd my Lords assertion all my resolution vanished in a moment there is enchantment in her look her voiceenchantment which it is not in man to resist
I am every hour more unhappy Lord Fondvilles proposal gives me infinite uneasiness not that I fear such a rival but it has raised the idea of other pretensions which may be accepted before it is time for me to avow my designs I have passd this night in forming schemes to prevent so fatal a blow to all my hopes and am determined to own my passion to the lovely object of it and entreat her if no other man is so happy as to possess her heart to wait one year the result of those views which that love which has inspired may perhaps prosper
Not certain I shall have courage to own my tenderness in her presence I will write and seize some favourable opportunity to give her the letter on which all my happiness depends I will ask no answer but from her eyes How shall I meet them after so daring an attempt
We are going to the parish church the coach is at the door Adieu she comes What graces play round that form What divinity in those eyes O Mordaunt what task will be difficult to him who has such a reward in view
OUR ramble yesterday was infinitely agreeable there is something very charming in changing the scene my Lord understands the art of making life pleasurable by making it various
We have been to the parish church to hear Dr H preach he has that spirit in his manner without which the most sensible sermon has very little effect on the hearers The organ which my Lord gave is excellent You know I think musick an essential part of public worship used as such by the wisest nations and commanded by God himself to the Jews it has indeed so admirable an effect in disposing the mind to devotion that I think it should never be omitted
Our Sundays here are extremely pleasant we have after evening service a moving rural picture from the windows of the saloon in the villagers for whose amusement the gardens are that day thrown open
Our rustic Mall is full from five till eight and there is an inexpressible pleasure in contemplating so many groups of neat healthy happylooking people enjoying the diversion of walking in these lovely shades by the kindness of their beneficent Lord who not only provides for their wants but their pleasures
My Lord is of opinion that Sunday was intended as a day of rejoicing not of mortification and meant not only to render our praises to our benevolent Creator but to give rest and chearful relaxation to the industrious part of mankind from the labors of the week
On this principle, tho he will never suffer the least breach of the laws in being he wishes the severity of them softened by allowing some innocent amusements after the duties of the day are past he thinks this would prevent those fumes of enthusiasm which have had here such fatal effects and could not be offensive to that gracious power who delights in the happiness of his creatures and who by the royal poet has commanded them to praise him in the cymbals and dances
For my own part having seen the good effect of this liberty in catholic countries I cannot help wishing though a zealous protestant that we were to imitate them in this particular
It is worth observing that the book of sports was put forth by the pious the religious the sober Charles the 1st and the law for the more strict observation of Sunday passed in the reign of the libertine Charles the 2d
Love of pleasure is natural to the human heart and the best preservative against criminal ones is a proper indulgence in such as are innocent
These are my sentiments and I am happy in finding Lord Belmont of the same opinion Adio
MORDAUNT the die is cast and the whole happiness of my life hangs on the present moment After having kept the letter confessing my passion two days without having resolution to deliver it this morning in the garden being a moment alone with Lady Julia in a summerhouse the company at some distance I assumed courage to lay it on a table whilst she was looking out at a window which had a prospect that engagd all her attention when I laid it down I trembled a chillness seized my whole frame my heart dyd within me I withdrew instantly without even staying to see if she took it up I waited at a little distance hid in a close arbour of woodbines my heart throbbing with apprehension and by the time she staid in the summerhouse had no doubt of her having seen the letter when she appeared I was still more convinced she came out with a timid air and looked round as if fearful of surprize the lively crimson flushd her cheek and and was succeeded by a dying paleness I attempted to follow but had not courage to approach her I suffered her to pass the arbor where I was and advance slowly towards the house when she was out of sight I went back to the summerhouse and found the letter was gone I have not seen her I am called to dinner my limbs will scarce support me how shall I bear the first sight of Lady Julia how be able to meet her eyes
I have seen her but my fate is yet undetermined she has avoided my eyes which I have scarce dard to raise from the ground I once lookd at her when she did not observe me and saw a melancholy on her countenance which stabd me to the soul I have given sorrow to the heart of her whom I would wish to be ever most happy and to whose good I would sacrifice the dearest hope of my soul Yes Mordaunt let me be wretched but let every blessing heaven can bestow be the portion of the loveliest of her sex
How little did I know of love when I gave that name to the shameful passion I felt for the wife of my friend the extreme beauty of the countess Melespini that unreserved manner which seldom fails to give hope the flattering preference she seemed to give me above all others lighted up in my soul a more violent degree of youthful inclination which the esteem I had for her virtues refined to an appearance of the noblest of affections to which it had not the remotest real resemblance
Without any view in my pursuit of her but my own selfish gratification I would have sacrificed her honor and happiness to a transient fondness which dishonored my character and if successful might have corrupted a heart naturally full of probity her amiable reproofs free from that feverity which robs virtue of half her charms with the generous behaviour of the most injured of mankind recalled my soul to honor and stoped me early in the career of folly time wore out the impression of her charms and left only a cold esteem remaining a certain proof that she was never the object of more than a light desire since the wounds which real love inflicts are never to be intirely healed
Such was the infamous passion which I yet remember with horror but my tenderness for Lady Julia more warm more animated more violent has a delicacy of which those only who love like me can form any idea independent of the charms of her person it can never cease but with life nor even then if in another state we have any sense of what has passed in this it is eternal and incorporated with the soul Above every selfish desire the first object of my thoughts and wishes is her happiness which I would die or live wretched to secure every action of my life is directed to the sole purpose of pleasing her my noblest ambition is to be worthy her esteem My dreams are full of her and when I wake the first idea which rises in my mind is the hope of seeing her and of seeing her well and happy my most ardent prayer to the supreme Giver of all good is for her welfare
In true love my dear Mordaunt there is a pleasure abstracted from all hope of return and were I certain she would never be mine nay certain I should never behold her more I would not for all the kingdoms of the world give up the dear delight of loving her
Those who never felt this enlivening power this divinity of the soul may find a poor insipid pleasure in tranquillity or plunge into vicious excesses to animate their tedious hours but those who have can never give up so sweet so divine a transport but with their existence or taste any other joy but in subordination
O Mordaunt when I behold her read the soft language of those speaking eyes hear those harmonious soundswho that has a soul can be insensibleyet there are men dead to all sense of perfection who can regard that angel form without rapture can hear the music of that voice without emotion I have myself with astonishment seen them inanimate as the trees around them listen coldly to those melting accentsThere is a sweetness in her voice Mordaunt a melodious softness which fancy cannot paint the enchantment of her conversation is inexpressible
Four oclock
I am the most wretched of mankind and wretched without the right of complaining the baseness of my attempt deserves even the pangs I suffer Could I who made a parade of refusing to meet the advances of the daughter of almost a stranger descend to seduce the heiress of him on earth to whom I am most obliged O Mordaunt have we indeed two souls Can I see so strongly what is right yet want power to act up to my own sentiments The torrent of passion bears down all before it I abhor myself for this weakness I would give worlds to recall that fatal letter her coldness her reserve are more than I can support My madness has undone meMy assiduity is importunate I might have preserved her friendship I have thrown away the first happiness of my life Her eyes averted shun me as an object of hatred I shall not long offend her by my presence I will leave her for ever I am eager to be gone that I may carry far from herO Mordaunt who could have thought that cruelty dwelt in such a form She hates me and all my hopes are destroyed for ever
This day the first of my life what a change has this day produced These few flying hours have raised me above mortality Yes I am most happy she loves me Mordaunt her conscious blushes her downcast eyes her heaving bosom her sweet confusion have told me what her tongue could not utter she loves me and all else is below my care she loves me and I will pursue her What are the mean considerations of fortune to the tender union of hearts Can wealth or titles deserve her No Mordaunt love aloneShe is mine by the strongest ties by the sacred bond of affection The delicacy of her soul is my certain pledge of happiness I can leave her without fear she cannot now be anothers
I told you my despair this morning my Lord proposed an airing chance placed me in lady Julias chaise I entered it with a beating hearr a tender fear of having offended inseparable from real love kept me some time silent at length with some hesitation I begd her to pardon the effect of passion and despair vowed I would rather die than displease her that I did not now hope for her love but could not support her hate
I then ventured to look up to the loveliest of women her cheeks were suffused with the deepest blush her eyes in which was the most dying languor were cast timidly on the ground her whole frame trembled and with a voice broken and interrupted she exclaimed
Hate you Mr Mandeville O heaven
she could say no more nor did she need the dear truth broke like a sudden flash of light on my soul
Yet think not I will take advantage of this dear prepossession in my favor to seduce her from her duty to the best of parents from Lord Belmont only will I receive her I will propose no engagements contrary to the rights of an indulgent father to whom she is bound by every tie of gratitude and filial tenderness I will pursue my purpose and leave the event to heaven to that heaven which knows the integrity the disinterested purity of my intentions I will evince the reality of my passion by endeavoring to be worthy of her The love of such a woman is the love of virtue itself: it raises it refines it ennobles every sentiment of the heart how different from that fever of selfish desire I felt for the amiable countess
O Mordaunt had you beheld those blushes of reluctant sensibility seen those charming eyes softened with a tenderness as refined as that of angelsShe loves melet me repeat the dear soundsShe loves me and I am happier than a god
I have this moment a letter from my father he approves my design but begs me for a short time to delay it my heart ill bears this delay I will carry the letter to lady Julia
She approves my fathers reasons yet begs I will leave Belmont her will is the law of my heart yet a few days I must give to love I will go on Tuesday to lord Ts His friendship will assist me in the only view which makes life supportable to me he will point out he will lead me to the path of wealth and greatness
Expect to hear from me when I arrive at Lord Ts I shall not write sooner my moments here are too precious
Adieu
HAPPY in seeing in my son that heroic spirit which has ever distinguished our house I should with pleasure consent to his design were this a proper time to execute it provided he went a volunteer and determined to accept no command but as a reward of real services and with a resolution it should never interfere with that independence to which I would have him sacrifice every other consideration but when there is so strong a probability of peace his going would appear like making a parade of that courage which he did not expect would be tried
Yes my son I am well assured we shall have peace that the most amiable of princes the friend of humankind pitying the miseries of his species and melting with compassion at the wide extended scene of desolation meditates such a peace as equally provides for the interest and honor of Britain and the future quiet of mankind The terms talked of are such as give us an immense addition of empire and strengthen that superiority of naval force on which our very being depends whilst they protect our former possessions and remove the source of future wars by securing all and much more than all for which this was undertaken yet by their just moderation convince the world a British monarch is governed only by the laws of honor and equity not by that impious thirst of false glory which actuates the laureld scourges of mankind
After so long so extensive and bloody a war a war which had depopulated our country and loaded us with a burden of debt from which nothing can extricate us but the noble spirit of public frugality which if steadily and uniformly pursued will rank the name of our Prince with those of Elizabeth and Henry the great all ardently wish for peace but those who gain by the continuance of war the clamors of these are inconceivable clamors which can be founded only in private interest because begun before they could even guess at the terms intended and continued when such are mentioned as reason herself would dictate but such ever will be the conduct of those in whom love of wealth is the primary passion
Heaven and earth can men wearing the form, and professing the sentiments of humanity deaf to the cries of the widow and the orphan labor to perpetuate the dreadful carnage which has deluged the world with the blood of their fellow creatures only to add to the mass of their already unweildy wealth and prey longer on the distresses of their country
These clamors are as illegal as they are indecent peace and war are the prerogative of the crown sacred as the liberties of the people nor will ever be invaded by those who understand and love our happy constitution let us strengthen the hands of our sovereign by our warm approbation during the course of this arduous work and if his ministers abuse their trust let them answer it not to the noise of unthinking faction or the unfeeling bosom of private interest but to the impartial laws of their country
Heaven forbid I should ever see a British King independent on his people collectively but I would have him raised above private cabals or the influence of any partial body of men however wealthy or respectable
If the generous views of our Prince do not meet with the success they merit if France refuses such a peace as secures the safety of our colonies and that superiority as a naval power so necessary to the liberties of Europe as well as our own independence you shall join the army in a manner becoming your birth and the style of life in which you have been educated till then restrain within just bounds that noble ardor so becoming a Briton and study to serve that country with your counsels in peace which will not I hope have occasion for your sword in war Adieu
MY Emily your friend your unhappy Julia is undone He knows the tenderness which I have so long endeavored to conceal The trial was too great for the softness of a heart like mine I had almost conquered my own passion when I became a victim to his I could not see his love his despair without emotions which discovered all my soul I am not formed for deceit artless as the village maid every sentiment of my soul is in my eyes I have not learnt I will never learn to disguise their expressive language With what pain did I affect a coldness to which I was indeed a stranger But why do I wrong my own heart I did not affect it The native modesty of my sex gave a reserve to my behavior on the first discovery of his passion which his fears magnified into hate O Emily Do I indeed hate him you to whose dear bosom your Julia confides her every thought tell me if I hate this most amiable of mankind You know by what imperceptible steps my inexperienced heart has been seduced to love you know how deceived by the sacred name of friendshipBut why do I seek to excuse my sensibility Is he not worthy all my tenderness are we not equal in all but wealth a consideration below my care is not his merit above titles and riches How shall I paint his delicacy his respectful fondness Too plainly convinced of his power over my heart he disdains to use that power to my disadvantage he declares he will never receive me but from my father he consents to leave me till a happier fortune enables him to avow his love to all the world he goes without asking the least promise in his favor Heaven sure will prosper his designs will reward a heart like his O my Emily did my father see with my eyes what is fortune in the ballance with such virtue Had I worlds in my own power I should value them only as they enabled me to show more strongly the disinterestedness of my affection
Born with a too tender heart which never before found an object worthy its attachment the excess of my affection is unspeakable Delicate in my choice even of friends it was not easy to find a lover equal to that idea of perfection my imagination had formed he alone of all mankind rises up to it the speaking grace the easy dignity of his air are the natural consequences of the superiority of his soul He looks as if born to command the world I am interrupted Adieu
YOU never were more mistaken you will not have the honor of seeing me yet in town My Lord thinks it infinitely more respectful to his royal Master to celebrate this happy event in the country
My congratulations says he would be lost in the crowd of a drawing room but here I can diffuse a spirit of loyalty and joy through half a country and impress all around me with the same veneration and love for the most amiable of Princes which burns in my own bosom
Our entertainment yesterday was magnifique and in the Gusto Belmonto there is a beautiful lake in the park on the borders of which on one side interspersed amongst the trees which form a woody theatre round it at a distance of about three hundred yards tents were fixed for the company to dine in which consisted of all the gentlemens families twenty miles round Westbrook and his daughter were there as my Lord would not shock them by leaving them only out when the whole neighbourhood were invited though he observed smiling this was a favor for these kind of people were only gentlemen by the courtesy of England Streamers of the gayest colors waved on the tops of the tents and glittered in the dancing sunbeams the tables were spread with every delicacy in season at which we placed ourselves in parties without ceremony or distinction just as choice or accident directed On a little island in the midst of the lake an excellent band of musick was placed which played some of the finest compositions of Handel during our repast which ended we spread ourselves on the borders of the lake where we danced on the verdant green till tea and coffee again summoned us to the tents and when evening
had in her sober livery all things clad
a superb supper and grand ball in the saloon finished our festival
Nor were the villagers forgot Tables were spread for them on the opposite side of the lake under the shade of the tallest trees and so disposed as to form the most agreeable points of view to us as our encampment must do to them
I am ill at describing but the feast had a thousand unspeakable charms
Poor Harry How I pity him his whole soul was absorbed in the contemplation of Lady Julia with whom he danced His eyes perpetually followed her and if I mistake not his will not be the only heart which aches at parting on Tuesday for so long is Harrys going postponed He may go but like the wounded deer he carries the arrow in his breast Adio
HOW my sweet Emily shall I bear his absence an absence embittered by the remembrance of those lively impassioned hours which love alone can give What joy have I found in owning the sentiments of my soul to one so worthy of all my tenderness Yes Emily I love himwords can but ill paint what I feelhe he aloneyet he leaves Belmontleaves it by my command leaves it this very hour leaves it perhaps for evergreat Heaven can I support that thought
If you love if you pity your unhappy friend return immediately to Belmont let me repose my sorrows in that faithful breast Lady Anne is tenderly my friend but the sprightliness of her character intimidates me I do not hope to find in her that sweet indulgence to all my faults as in the gentle soul of my Emily
I have entreated him to take no leave of me I shall only see him with the family The moment draws nearmy fluttering heartHow shall I hide my concernLady Anne is coming to my apartment I must go with her to the saloon where he only waits to bid us adieu his chaise is in the court O Emily my emotion will betray me
He is gone the whole house is in tears never was man so adored never man so infinitely deserved it He pressed my hand to his lips his eyes spoke unutterable love I leaned almost fainting on Lady Anne and hid my tears in her bosom she hurried me to my apartment and left me to give vent to my full heart She sees my weakness and kindly strives to hide it from others whilst her delicacy prevents her mentioning it to myself she has a tender and compassionate heart and my reserve is an injury to her friendship
Lady Anne has sent to ask me to air I shall be glad to avoid all eyes but hers perhaps I may have courage to tell hershe merits all my confidence nor is it distrust but timidity which preventsshe is hereI am ashamd to see her Adieu my dearest my beloved friend
WE have lost our lovely Harry he left us this morning for Lord Ts Poor Lady Julia how I adore her amiable sincerity she has owned her passion to me as we aired and mentioned hopes which are founded in madness I ventured gently to remonstrate but there is no reasoning with a heart in love Time and absence may effect a cure I am the confidente of both I am perplexed how to proceed I must either betray the trust reposed in me or abuse Lord Belmonts friendship and hospitality
In what a false light do we see every thing through the medium of passion Lady Julia is heiress to 14000
l
a year yet thinks Harrys merit may raise him to a situation which will justify his pretending to her and that this stupendous rise may be brought about in a twelvemonth he too thinks it possible nay the scheme is his Heaven and earth yet they are not fools and Harry has some knowledge of mankind
At present there is no talking reasonably to either of them I must soothe them to bring them off this ruinous inclination by degrees
As idleness is the nurse of love I will endeavor to keep Lady Julia continually amused a new lover might do much but there is nobody near us that is tolerable indeed the woman who has loved Harry Mandeville will be somewhat hard to please
Chance favors my designs my Lord has proposed a visit of a fortnight to a neighbouring nobleman Lord Rochdale whose house is generally full of gay people his son too Lord Melvin with whom I was acquainted abroad and who is only inferior to Harry Mandeville is hourly expected from his travels
Since I wrote the last paragraph an idea has struck me from a very particular expression in a letter I once received from Lady Belmont in France I have a strong suspicion Lord Melvin is intended for Lady Julia I wish he might be agreeable to her for her present passion is absolute distraction
We go tomorrow when we come back you shall hear from me or perhaps for I am something variable in my determinations as soon as I get thither Expect nothing however if I do you the honor you must set an immense value on my condescension for I know we shall not have a moment to spare from amusements Adieu
I Have at length left Belmont and left it certain of Lady Julias tenderness I am the happiest of mankind she loves me she confesses it I have every thing to hope from time fortune perseverance and the constancy of the most amiable of her sex
All cold reserve is banished from that charming bosom above the meanness of suspicion she believes my passion noble and disinterested as her own she hears my vows with a pleasure which she cannot nay which she does not wish to conceal she suffers me to swear eternal tendernessWe dined on Wednesday at the hermitage The company dispersed the most delicate of women not from coquetry but that sweet impulsive modesty not obvious not obtrusive which gives to beauty its loveliest charm avoided an opportunity which eager watchful love at last obtained alone with her in those sweet shadesO Mordaunt let not the gross unloving libertine talk of pleasure how tasteless are the false endearments the treacherous arts of the venal wanton to the sweet unaffected downcast eye of virgin innocence the vivid glow of artless tenderness the native vermilion of blushing sensibility the genuine smile of undissembled love
I write this on the road to Lord Ts where I shall be to night I shall expect to hear from you immediately Adieu
I Never so strongly relish the happiness of my own manner of living as when I compare it with that of others I hear perpetual complaints abroad of the tediousness of life and see in every face a certain weariness of themselves from which I am so happy as to be perfectly free I carry about me an innate disposition to be pleased which is the source of continual pleasure
That I have escaped what is in general the fate of people of my rank is chiefly owing to my fortunate choice in marriage our mutual passion the only foundation on which sensible souls can build happiness has been kept alive by a delicacy of behaviour an angel purity in Lady Belmont to which words cannot do justice The transports of youthful passion yield its sweetness to the delight of that refined yet animated sensation which my heart feels for her at this moment I never leave her without regret nor meet her without rapture the lively rapture of love
By long experience mellowed into friendship
We have been married thirty years there are people who think she was never handsome yet to me she is all loveliness I think no woman beautiful but as she resembles her and even Julias greatest charm in my eye is the likeness she has to her amiable mother
This tender this exquisite affection has diffused a spirit through our whole lives and given a charm to the most common occurrences a charm to which the dulness of apathy and the fever of guilty passion are equally strangers
The family where we are furnish a striking example of the impossibility of being happy without the soft union of hearts though both worthy people having been joined by their parents without that affection which can alone make so near a connexion supportable their lives pass on in a tedious and insipid round without taste for each others conversation they engage in a perpetual series of diversions not to give relish to but to exclude those retired domestic hours which are the most sprightly and animated of my life they seek by crowds and amusements to fly from each other and from themselves
The great secret of human happiness my dear Mr Mandeville consists in finding such constant employment for the mind, as without overfatiguing may prevent its languishing in a painful inactivity To this end I would recommend to every man to have not only some important point in view but many subordinate ones to fill up those vacant hours when our great purpose whatever it is must be suspended our very pleasures even the best will fatigue if not relieved by variety the mind cannot always be on the stretch nor attentive to the same object however pleasing Relaxation is as necessary as activity to keep the soul in its due equipoise No innocent amusement however trifling it may seem to the rigid or the proud is below the regard of a rational creature which keeps the mind in play and unbends it from more serious pursuits
I often regard at once with pity and astonishment persons of my own rank and age dragged about in unwieldy state forging for themselves the galling fetters of eternal ceremony or the still heavier chains of ambition their bodies bending under the weight of dress their minds for ever filled with the idea of their own dignity and importance to the fear of lessening which they sacrifice all the genuine pleasures of life
Heaven grant my dear friend I may never be too wise or too proud to be happy
To you my amiable friend who are just entering on the stage of life I would recommend such active pursuits as may make you an useful member of society and contribute to raise your own fortune and consequence in the world as well as secure the esteem of your fellow citizens and the approbation of your Prince
For my own part like the Roman veterans I may now be excused if I ask my discharge from those anxious pursuits which are only becoming in the vigor of our days and from those ceremonial attentions which are scarce bearable even then My duty as a senator and my respect to my king nothing but real inability shall ever suspend but for the rest I think it time at sixty to be free to live to ones self and in ones own way and endeavour to
be
rather than to
seem
happy
The rest of my days except those I owe to my country and my prince shall be devoted to the sweets of conjugal and paternal affection to the lively joys of friendship I have only one wish as to this world to see Julia married to a man who deserves her who has sensibility to make her happy and whose rank and fortune are such as may justify us to the world above which the most philosophic mind cannot entirely rise let me but see this and have a hope that they will pursue my plan of life let me see them blest in each other and blessing all around them and my measure of earthly felicity will be complete
You know not my dear Mr Mandeville how much my happiness in this world has been owing also to the lively hope of another this idea has given me a constant serenity which may not improperly be called the health of the mind, and which has diffused a brightness over all my hours
Your account of Lord T made me smile his fear of being dismissed at seventy from the toilsome drudgery of business is truly ridiculous rich childish infirm ought not ease and retirement to be the first objects of his wishes But such is the wretched slavery of all who are under the absolute dominion of any passion unguided by the hand of reason.
The passions of every kind under proper restraints are the gentle breezes which keep life from stagnation but let loose they are the storms and whirlwinds which tear up all before them and scatter ruin and destruction around
Adieu I ought to apologize for the length of this but age is the season of garrulity
HOW happy would it be for mankind if every person of your Lordships rank and fortune governed themselves by the same generous maxims
It is with infinite pain I see Lord T pursuing a plan which has drawn on him the curse of thousands and made his estate a scene of desolation his farms are in the hands of a few men to whom the sons of the old tenants are either forced to be servants or to leave the country to get their bread elsewhere The village large and once populous is reduced to about eight families a dreary silence reigns over their deserted fields the farm houses once the seats of chearful smiling industry now useless are falling in ruins around him his tenants are merchants and engrossers proud lazy luxurious insolent and spurning the hand which feeds them
Yesterday one of them went off largely in his debt I took that occasion of pressing him on his most vulnerable side and remonstrating the danger of trusting so much of his property in one hand but I am afraid all I can say will have no effect as he has by this narrow selfish plan a little encreased his rents at present which is all he has in view without extending his thoughts to that future time when this wretched policy by depopulating the country will lower the price of all the fruits of the earth and lessen in consequence the value of his estate
With all my friendship for Lord T I cannot help observing in him another fault greatly below his rank and understanding I mean a despicable kind of pride which measures worth by the gifts of fortune of which the largest portion is too often in the hands of the least deserving
His treatment of some gentlemen whose fortunes were unequal to their birth and merit yesterday at his table almost determined me to leave his house I expostulated warmly tho not impolitely with him on the subject and almost got him to confess his error My friendship for him makes me feel sensibly what must lessen his character in the eyes of all whose esteem is desireable I wish him to pass a month at Belmont that he may see dignity without pride and condescension without meanness that he may see virtue in her loveliest form and acknowledge her genuine beauty
I am my Lord c H MANDEVILLE
I Have past a tedious fortnight at Lord Ts without tasting any pleasure but that of talking of Lady Julia with some ladies in the neighbourhood who know her I estimate the merit of those I converse with by the distinction of being known to her those who are so happy as to be of her acquaintance have in my eye every charm that polished wit or elegant knowledge can give those who want that advantage scarce deserve the name of human beings all conversation of which she is not the subject is lifeless and insipid all of which she is brilliant and divine
My Lord rallies me on my frequent visits to these Ladies and as one of them is extremely handsome supposes it a beginning
ssion the Lady herself I am afraid is deceived for as she is particularly warm in her praises of Lady Julia my eyes sparkle with pleasure at her approach I single her out in every company and dance with her at all our little parties I have even an attention to her superior to that of common lovers and feel for her a tenderness for which I want a name
Lady Anne has had the goodness to write twice to me from Lord Rochdales whither my Lord went with his amiable family two days after I left Belmont Lady Julia is well she loves me she hears of me with pleasure Ought I at present to wish more
I have hinted to Lord T my purpose though not the dear motive which inspired it he is warmly my friend if there is truth in man I will be more explicit the first time I see him alone shall I own to you one weakness of my heart I would be served by any interest but Lord Belmonts how can I pretend to his daughter if all I have is in a manner his gift I would be rich independently of his friendship
Lord T is walking in the garden alone I will go to him and explain all my designs his knowledge of mankind will guide me to the best road to wealth and honor his friendship will assist me to the ample extent of his power Adieu
OH do you know I have a little request to make you but first by way of preface I must inform you Lady Belmont has been reading me a serious lecture about the Caro Bellville who has wrote to her to beg her intercession in his favor
I find fools have been impertinent in regard to our friendship there are so few pleasures in this world I think it extremely hard to give up one so lively yet innocent as that of indulging a tender esteem for an amiable man But to our conversation
My dear Lady Anne I am convinced you love Colonel Bellville
Love him Madam no I rather think not I am not sure The man is not shocking and dies for me I pity him poor creature and pity your Ladyship knows is a kin to love
Will you be grave one moment
A thousand if your Ladyship desires it nothing so easy to me the gravest creature in the world naturally
You allow Colonel Bellville merit
Certainement
That he loves you
To distraction
And you return it
Why as to thathe flatters agreeably and I am fond of his conversation on that account and let me tell you my dear Lady Belmont it is not every man that can flatter it requires more genius than one would suppose
You intend some time or other to marry him
Marry O heavens How did such a thought enter your Ladyships imagination Have not I been married already And is not once enough in conscience for any reasonable woman
Will you pardon me if I then ask with what view you allow his address
I allow Heavens Lady Belmont I allow the addresses of an odious male animal if fellows will follow one how is to be avoided it is ones misfortune to be handsome and one must bear the consequences
But my dear Lady Anne an unconected lifeIs the pleasantest life in the world Have not I 3000
l
a year am not I a widow mistress of my own actions with youth health a tolerable understanding an air of the world and a person not very disagreeable
All this I own
All this yes and twenty times more or you do nothing Have not these unhappy eyes carryed destruction from one climate to another Have not the sprightly French the haughty Romans confest themselves my slaves Have notBut it would take up a life to tell you all my conquests
But what is all this to the purpose my dear
Now I protest I think it is vastly to the purpose And all this you advise me to give up to become a tame domestic inanimatereally my dear Madam I did not think it was in your nature to be so unreasonable
It is with infinite pain my dearest Lady Anne I bring myself to say any thing which can give you a moments uneasiness But it is the task of true friendship
To tell disagreeable truths I know that is what your Ladyship would say and to spare you what your delicacy starts at mentioning you have heard aspersions on my character which are the consequences of my friendship for Col Bellville
I know and admire the innocent chearfulness of your heart but I grieve to say the opinion of the world
As to the opinion of the world by which is meant the malice of a few spiteful old cats I am perfectly unconcerned about it but your Ladyships esteem is necessary to my happiness I will therefore to you vindicate my conduct which though indiscreet has been really irreproachable Though a widow and accountable to nobody I have ever lived with Colonel Bellville with the reserve of blushing apprehensive fifteen whilst the warmth of my friendship for him and the pleasure I found in his conversation have let loose the baleful tongue of envy and subjected my resolution to the malice of an illjudging world a world I despise for his sake a world whose applause is too often bestowed on the cold the selfish and the artful and denied to that generous unsuspecting openness and warmth of heart which are the strongest characteristicks of true virtue My friendship or if you please my love for Colonel Bellville is the first pleasure of my life the happiest hours of which have been past in his conversation nor is there any thing I would not sacrifice to my passion for him but his happiness which for reasons unknown to your Ladyship is incompatible with his marrying me
But is it not possible to remove those reasons
I am afraid not
Would it not then my dear Madam be most prudent tobreak off a connexion which can answer no purpose but making both unhappy
I own it would but prudence was never a part of my character Will you forgive and pity me Lady Belmont when I say that though I see in the strongest light my own indiscretion I am not enough mistress of my heart to break with the man to whom I have only a very precarious and distant hope of being united There is an enchantment in his friendship which I have not force of mind to break through he is my guide my guardian protector friend the only man I ever loved the man to whom the last recesses of my heart are open must I give up the tender exquisite refined delight of his conversation to the false opinion of a world governed by prejudice judging by the exterior which is generally fallacious and condemning without distinction those soft affections without which life is scarcely above vegetation
Do not imagine my dear Lady Belmont I have really the levity I affect or had my prejudices against marriage been ever so strong the time I have passed here would have removed them I see my Lord and you after an union of thirty years with as keen a relish for each others conversation as you could have felt at the moment which first joined you I see in you all the attention the tender solicitude of beginning love with the calm delight and perfect confidence of habitual friendship I am therefore convinced marriage is capable of happiness to which an unconnected state is lifeless and insipid and from observing the lovely delicacy of your Ladyships conduct I am instructed how that happiness is to be secured I am instructed how to avoid that tasteless languid unimpassioned hour so fatal to love and friendship
With the man to whom I was a victim my life was one continued scene of misery to a sensible mind there is no cold medium in marriage its sorrows like its pleasures are exquisite Relieved from those galling chains I have met with a heart suited to my own born with the same sensibility the same peculiar turn of thinking pleased with the same pleasures and exactly formed to make me happy I will belive this similarity was not given to condemn us both to wretchedness as it is impossible either of us can be happy but with the other I will hope the bar which at present seems invincible may be removed till then indulge me my dear Lady Belmont in the innocent pleasure of loving him and trust to his honor for the safety of mine
The most candid and amiable of women after a gentle remonstrance on the importance of reputation to happiness left me so perfectly satisfied that she intends to invite Bellville down I send you this conversation as an introduction to a request I have to make you which I must postpone to my next Heavens how perverse interrupted by one of the veriest cats in nature, who will not leave us till ages after the post is gone Adieu for the present it is pretily enough contrived and one of the great advantages of society that ones time the most precious of all possessions is to be sacrifised from a false politeness to every idle creature who knows not what else to do Every body complains of this but nobody attempts to remedy it
Am not I the most inhuman of women to write two sheets without naming Lady Julia She is well and beautiful as an angel we have a ball tonight on Lord Melvins return against which she is putting on all her charms We shall be at Belmont tomorrow which is two or three days sooner than my Lord intended
Lady Julia dances with Lord Melvin who is except two the most amiable man I know she came up just as I sat down to write and looked as if she had something to say she is gone however without a word her childish bashfulness about you is intolerable
The ball waits for us I am interrupted by extreme pretty fellow Sir Charles Mellifont who has tonight the honor of my hand Adio
WE have a ball tonight on Lord Melvins return against which she is putting on all her charms
O Lady Anne can you indeed know what it is to love yet play with the anxiety of a tender heart I can scarce bear the thought of her looking lovely in my absence or in any eyes but mine how then can I support the idea of her endeavoring to please another of her putting on all her charms to grace the return of a man young amiable rich noble and the son of her fathers friend a thousand fears a thousand conjectures torment me should she love anotherthe possibility distracts meGo to her and ask her if the tenderest most exalted passion if the man who adores herI know not what I would sayYou have set me on the rackIf you have pity my dearest Lady Anne lose not a moment to make me easy
O EMILY How inconsistent is a heart in love I entreated Mr Mandeville not to write to me and am chagrined at his too exact obedience I think if he loved as I do he could not so easily obey me He writes to Lady Anne and though by my desire I am ashamed of my weaknessBut I wish he wrote lessoften there is an air of gaiety in his letters which offends meHe talks of balls of parties with ladiesPerhaps I am unjust but the delicacy of my love is wounded by his knowing a moments pleasure in my absence to me all places are equal where he is not all amusements without him are dull and tasteless Have not I an equal right to expect Emily He knows not how I love him
Convinced that this mutual passion is the designation of heaven to restore him to that affluence he lost by the partiality of an ancestor and the generous loyalty of his family I give way to it without reserve I regard my love as a virtue I am proud of having distinguished his merit without those trappings of wealth which alone can attract common eyes His idea is for ever before me I think with transport of those enchanting momentsEmily that week of tender confidence is all my life the rest is not worth numbering in my existence
My father tonight gives a ball to Lord Melvin with whom I am again unwillingly obliged to dance I wish not to dance at all to make this sacrifice to the most beloved of men Why have I not courage to avow my sentiments to declare he aloneThis Lord Melvin too I know not why but I never see him without horror
O Emily How do all men sink on the comparison He seems of a superior rank of beings Your Julia will never give her hand to another she swears this to the dear bosom of friendship
This detested Lord Melvin is at the door he will not let me proceed he tells me it is to a lover I am writing he says this in a manner and with a tone of voicehe looks at me with an earnestnessLady Anne has alarmed meShould my father intendyet why should I fear the most cruel of all acts of tyranny from the most tender and indulgent of parents
I feel a dejection of spirits on this subject which does injury to my fathers goodness perhaps it is no more than the natural effects of absence on a tender and unexperienced heart
Adieu I am forced to finish my letter All good angels guard and preserve my Emily
WITH all my affection for Lord T I am hourly shocked by that most unworthy of all faults his haughtiness to inferior fortune however distinguished by virtue talents or even the more shining advantage of birth Dress equipage and the overbearing assurance which wealth inspires strike him so forcibly that there is no room in his soul for that esteem which is a debt to modest merit
We had yesterday to dine Mr Herbert one of the most amiable men I ever saw his person was genteel his countenance at once expressive of genius and worth which were rendered more touching to me by that pensive look and irresolute air which are the constant attendants on an adverse fortune Lord T returned his bow almost without looking at him and continued talking familiarly to a wretch with whom no gentleman would converse were he not master of six thousand a year the whole company instructed in his situation by the supercilious air of the master of the house treated him with the same neglect which I endeavoured to console him for by every little civility in my power and by confining my attention intirely to him when we parted he asked me to his house with a look full of sensibility an invitation I shall take the first opportunity of accepting
When the company were gone I asked Lord T the character of this stranger Why really says he I believe he is in himself the most estimable man in my neighbourhood of a good family too but one must measure ones reception of people by the countenance the world shews them and he is too poor to be greatly caressed there Besides I am not fond of being acquainted with unhappy people they are very apt to ask favours
Is it possible said I my Lord interrupting him hastily you can avow sentiments like these Why are you raised by Providence above others Why entrusted with that wealth and consequence which might make you a guardian angel to the unhappy Where is my chaise I will return to Belmont where affliction ever finds a ready audience where adversity is sure of being heard though pomp and equipage wait
Lord T smiled at my earnestness and praised the generosity of my sentiments which he assured me were his at my age he owned he had been to blame but in the world said he Harry we are carried away by the torrent and act wrong every moment mechanically meerly by seeing others do the same However I stand corrected and you shall have no future reason to complain of me
He spoke this with an air of good humour which reconciled us and has promised to accompany me in my visit to Mr Herbert which I have insisted shall be the first we pay and that he shall beg his pardon for the behaviour of yesterday
Is it not strange my Lord that men whose hearts are not bad can avoid those whose characters do honor to their species only because fortune denies them those outward distinctions which wealth can give to the lowest and most despicable of mankind
Surely of all human vices Pride is the most detestable
CAN I play with the anxiety of a tender heart Certainly or I should not be what I am a coquet of the first order Setting aside the pleasure of the thing and I know few pleasanter amusements Policy dictates this conduct for there is no possibility of keeping any of you without throwing the charms of dear variety into ones treatment of you nothing cloys like continual sweets a little acid is absolutely necessary
I am just come from giving Lady Julia some excellent advice on the subject of her passion for you Really my dear said I you are extremely absurd to blush and look foolish about loving so pretty a fellow as Harry Mandeville handsome well made lively elegant in the true classical stile and approved by the connoisseurs by Madame le Comtesse de herself whom I look upon to be the greatest judge of male merit on the face of the globe
It is not for loving him I am angry with you but for entertaining so ridiculous a thought as that of marrying him You have only one rational step to take marry Lord Melvin who has title and fortune requisites not to be dispensed with in a husband and take Harry Mandeville for your Cecisbeo The dear creature was immensely displeased as you who know the romantic turn of her imagination will easily conceive
O I had almost forgot yes indeed you have great right to give yourself jealous airs we have not heard of your coquetry with Miss Truman My correspondent tells me there is no doubt of its being a real passion on both sides and that the Truman family have been making private enquiries into your fortune I shewed Lady Julia the letter and you cannot conceive how prettily she blushed
But to be grave I am afraid you have nothing to fear from Lord Melvin You must forgive my making use of this expression for as I see no possibility of surmounting the obstacles which oppose your union with Lady Julia I am too much a friend to both not to wish earnestly to break a connexion which has not a shadow of hope to support it
But a truce to this subject which is not a pleasant one to either of us
I told you in my last I had something to say to you As I am your confidente you must consent to be mine having a little present occasion for your services You are to know my dear Harry that with all my conquetry I am as much in love as yourself and with almost as little prospect of success this odious money is absolutely the bane of us true lovers and always contrives to stand in our way
My dear spouse then who in the whole course of our acquaintance did but one obliging thing being kindly determined I should neither be happy with him nor without him obligingly tho nobody knows this but myself and the Caro Belville made my jointure what it is on condition I never married again on observance of which condition it was to be in my power to give the estate to whoever I pleased at my death but on a proof of my supposed future marriage it was to go immediately to a niece of his who at his death was in a convent in France who is ignorant of this condition and whose whole present fortune scarce amounts to fifteen hundred pounds She is both in person and mind one of the most lovely of women and has an affection for me which inclines me to think she would come into measures for my sake which I shall make it her interest to acquiesce in for her own
Belvilles fortune is extremely moderate and if I marry him at present I shall not add a shilling to it his income will remain in statuquo with the incumbrance of an indigent woman of quality whose affairs are a little derange and amongst whose virtues oeconomy was never one of the most observable He would with transport marry me tomorrow even on these hard conditions but how little should I deserve so generous a passion if I suffered it to seduce him to his ruin I have wrote to my niece to come to England when I shall tell her my passion for Belville and propose to her a private agreement to divide the fortune which will be forfeited to her on my marriage and which it is in my power by living single to deprive her of for ever Incapable however of injustice I have at all events made a will dividing it equally between her and Belville if I die unmarried I have a right to do this for the man I love as my father left thirty thousand pounds to Mr Wilmot which in equity ought to be regarded as mine and which is all I desire on the division she therefore by my will has all she ever can expect even from the strictest justice and she can never I think hesitate between waiting till my death and at my mercy and receiving the utmost she could hope then at the present
I have heard from the lady to whom I enclosed my letter which she has returned my niece having left France a year ago to accompany a relation into Italy What I therefore have to ask of you is to endeavour to find her out by your Italian friends as I will by mine at the same time that I may write to her to return immediately to England as I will not run the hazard of mentioning the subject in a letter She is the daughter of the late colonel Hastings once abroad in a public character and is well known in Italy
Belville is not at all in the secret of my scheme nor did I ever tell him I would marry him though I sometimes give him reason to hope
I am too good a politician in love matters ever to put a man out of doubt till half an hour before the ceremony The moment a woman is weak enough to promise she sets the heart of her lover at rest the chace and of consequence the pleasure is at an end and he has nothing to do but to seek a new object and begin the pursuit over again
I tell you but I tell it in confidence that if I find Bell Hastings if she comes into my scheme and my mind does not change I may perhaps do Bellville the honor And yet when I reflect on the matter on the condition of the obligation
so long as ye both shall live
Jesu Maria Only think of promising to be of the same mind as long one lives My dear Harry people may talk as they will but the thing is utterly impossible
I Have already told you I came hither with a view of engaging Lord Ts interest in support of those views on which all my hopes of happiness depend The friendship he has ever professed for me has been warm as that of a father I was continually with him at Rome and he there prest me to accept those services I then never expected to have occasion for Till now content with my situation love first raised in me the spirit of ambition and determined me to accept those offers In a former letter I told you I was going to follow Lord T into the garden to communicate to him my purpose of pushing my fortune in the world on which I had before given general hints which he seemed to approve as a kind of spirit becoming a young man warm with hope and not destitute of merit
On revolving my scheme as I approached him it appeared so romantic so void of all rational hope that I had not resolution to mention it and determined at least to suspend it till better digested and more fitted to bear the cool eye of impartial reason: in these sentiments I should still have remained had not a letter from Lady Anne Wilmot by giving me jealousy determined me not to defer one moment a design on which all my happiness depended
I therefore with some hesitation this morning opened all my heart and the real state of my circumstances to Lord T concealing only what related to Lady Julia He heard me with great coolness carelessly lolling on a settee his eyes fixed on a new Chinese summerhouse opposite the window near which he sat and made me the following answer
Your views Mr Mandeville seem rather romantic for a man who has no party connexions and so little parliamentary interest However you are of a good family and there are things to be had in time if properly recommended Have you no friend who would mention you to the minister
He then rang the bell hastily for his valet and retired to dress leaving me motionless with astonishment and indignation
We met no more till dinner when he treated me with a distant civility the meaning of which was easily understood He apologized with an air of ceremony on his being forced to go for a fortnight to Scarborough with a party who being all strangers he was afraid would not be agreeable to me but at his return he should be glad of the honor of seeing me again I bowed coldly and took no other notice of what he said than to order my chaise immediately on which he pressed my stay tonight but in vain The servants leaving the room he was a little disconcerted but observed he was sorry for me my case was really hard he always thought my fortune much larger wondered at my fathers indiscretion in educating me so improperlyPeople ought to consider their circumstancesIt was pity I had no friendLord Belmont if he pleased but he was so absurdly fond of his independence
During this harangue I intirely recovered my presence of mind and with an air of great ease and unconcern told his Lordship I was much obliged to him for curing me of a pursuit so improper for a man of my temper that the liberal offers of service he had formerly made me at Rome had betrayed me into a false opinion of the friendship of great men but that I was now convinced of what value such professions are and that they are only made where it seems certain they will never be accepted That it was impossible his Lordship could judge properly of the conduct of a man of my fathers character that I was proud of being son to the most exalted and generous of mankind and would not give up that honor to be first minister to the first prince on earth That I never so strongly felt the value of independence as at that moment and did not wonder at the value Lord Belmont set on so inestimable a blessing
I came away without waiting for an answer and stopped at an inn about ten miles off where I am now waiting for one of my servants whom I left behind to bring me a letter I expect today from Lady Anne Wilmot
And now my dear Mordaunt what will become of your unhappy friend The flattering hopes I fondly entertained are dispersed like a flitting cloud Lord Ts behaviour has removed the veil which love had spread over the wildness of my design and convinced me that success is impossible Where or to whom shall I now apply Lord T was him on whose friendship I most depended whose power to serve me was greatest and whose professions gave me most right to expect his services
I here for ever give up all viewsCan I then calmly give up the hopes of Lady Julia I will go back confess my passion to Lord Belmont and throw myself on that goodness whose first delight is that of making others happy Yet can I hope he will give his daughter the heiress of such affluenceDisinterested and noble as he is the false maxims of the worldMordaunt I am born to wretchednessWhat have I gained by inspiring the most angelic of women with pity I have doomed to misery her for whose happiness I would sacrifice my life
The servant I left at Lord T is this moment arrived he has brought me a letterI know not why but my hand trembles I have scarce power to break the seal
SUMMON all your resolution my dear Mr MandevilleSure my fears were propheticdo not be too much alarmedLady Julia is well she is in tears by me she disapproves her fathers views she begs me to assure you her heart is not less sensible than yours will be to so cruel a stroke begs you not to return yet to Belmont but to depend on her affection and leave your fate in her hands
The inclosed letters will acquaint you with what I have been for some time in apprehension of With such a design for his daughter why did my Lord bring you to Belmont So formed to inspire love as you both are why did he expose you to danger it was scarce possible for you to escape
But it is now too late to wish you had never met all my hopes are in your resolution I dare expect nothing from Lady Julias
YOUR Lordships absence and the death of my mother which renders my estate more worthy Lady Julia has hitherto prevented my explanation of an unguarded expression which I find has had the misfortune to displease you I am far from intendingYour Lordship intirely mistakes meNo man can be more sensible of the honor of your lordships alliance or of Lady Julias uncommon perfections but a light way of talking which one naturally acquires in the world has led me undesignedly into some appearance of disrespect to a state of the felicity of which I have not the least doubt
I flatter myself your Lordship will on cooler reflection forgive an unguarded word and allow me to hope for the honor of convincing you and the lady by my future conduct that no man has a higher Idea of matrimonial happiness than
Your Lordships Most devoted and very obedient Servant FONDVILLE
I Readily admit your Lordships apology as I am under no apprehension any man can intend to slight the alliance of one who has always endeavoured his character should be worthy his birth and the rank he has the honor to hold in his country
As I love the plainest dealing in affairs of such consequence I will not a moment deceive your Lordship or suffer you to engage in a pursuit which if I have any influence over my daughter will be unsuccessful not from any disesteem of your Lordship but because I have another view for her the disappointment of which would dstroy all my hopes of a happy evening of life and embitter my last hours I have long intended her with her own approbation which her filial piety gives me no room to doubt for the son of my friend the heir of an earldom and of an affluent fortune and what I much more value of uncommon merit and one of the first families in the kingdom
I am sure your Lordship will not endeavour to oppose a design which has been long formed is far advanced and on which I have so much set my heart
I am my Lord With great Regard your Lordships very obedient And devoted Servant BELMONT
I have long my dear Mr Mandeville suspected my Lords design in favour of Lord Melvin of which there is not now the least doubt Our coming away from his fathers on his arrival was a circumstance which then struck me extremely Lady Julias stay there on this supposition would have been ill suited to the delicacy of her sex and rank Yet I am astonished my Lord has not sooner told her of it but there is no accounting for the caprice of age How shall I tell my dear Mr Mandeville my sentiments on this discovery How shall I without wounding a passion which bears no restraint hint to him my wishes that he would sacrifice that love which can only by its continuance make him wretched to Lady Julias peace of mind That he would himself assist her to conquer an inclination which is incompatible with the views which the most indulgent of parents entertains for her happiness Views the disappointment of which he has declared will embitter his last hours Make one generous effort my amiable friend it is glorious to conquer where conquest is most difficult think of Lord Belmonts friendship of his almost parental care of your fortune of the pleasure with which he talks of your virtues and it will be impossible for you to continue to oppose that design on which his hopes of a happy evening of life are founded Would you deny a happy evening to that life to which thousands owe the felicity of theirs
It is from you and not Lady Julia I expect this sacrifice the consideration which will most strongly influence you to make it will for ever prevent her it pains me to wound your delicacy by saying I mean the difference of your fortunes From a romantic generosity she will think herself obliged to that perseverance which the same generosity now calls loudly on you to decline If you have greatness of mind to give up hopes which can never be accomplished time and absence may assist Lady Julias filial sweetness and bring her to a compliance with her fathers will Believe that whilst I write my heart melts with compassion for you both and that nothing but the tenderest friendship could have urged me to so painful a task
I am c
O Mordaunt till now I was never truly wretched I have not even a glimpse of hope remaining I must give up the only wish for which life is worth my care or embitter the last hours of the man who with unequalled generosity has pleaded my cause against himself and declined a noble acquisition of fortune that it might give consequence and as he thought happiness to me
But Lady JuliaHeaven is my witness to make her happy I would this moment give up all my rights in her heart I would myself lead her to the altar though the same hand the next momentMordaunt I will promise if she requests it to consent to her marriage but I will not to survive it My thoughts are all distractionI cannot write to Lady AnneI will write to the most lovely of womenShe knows not the cruel request of of her friendHer love disdains the low consideration of wealthOur hearts were formed for each otherShe knows every sentiment of my soulShe knows that were I monarch of the worldO Mordaunt is it possibleCan the gentle the indulgent Lord Belmontbut all conspires to undo me the best the most mild of mankind is turned a tyrant to make me wretched I will know from herself if she consents I will give up my own hopes to her happiness but let me first be convinced it is indeed her happiness not the prejudices of her father to which I make so cruel a sacrifice
I have wrote to Lady Julia and am more calm I have mentioned Lady Annes quest I have told her that though without hope if I am still blest in her affection I will never resign her but with life but if she can be happy with Lord Melvin if she asks it she is this moment free I have entreated her to consult her own heart without a thought of me that I would die this moment to contribute to her peace that the first purpose of my life is her happiness with which my own shall never come in competition that there is nothing I will ever refuse her but to cease to think of her with adoration that if she wishes to marry Lord Melvin Great Heaven is it possible she can wish it I will return to Italy and carry far from her a passion which can never cease but in the grave
I will wait here an answer and then determine where to go
EMILY HOWARD came last night Lady Julia and she are reading natural history with my Lord and examining butterflies wings in a microscope a pretty innocent amusement to keep young ladies out of mischief I wish my Lord had thought of it sooner it might have been of great use to Lady Julia if one is but amused it is of no great consequence whether by a butterfly or a lover
Vastly severe that last sentence it must be allowed I have a pretty genius for satire
My Lord certainly intends Lady Julia for Lord Melvin I have wrote Harry a ridiculous wise letter perswading him to sacrifise his own passion to my Lords caprice and giving him advice which I should hate him if I thought him capable of following How easy it is to be wise for any body but ones self I suppose Harry could with great calmness preach on the imprudence of my attachment to you
We are going to a strolling play tonight My Lord encourages diversions on his estate on the same principle that a wise prince protects the fine arts to keep his people at home
We had a family to dine here yesterday who are very agreeable people and to whom my Lord shewed a particular attention Mr Barker the father is the most bearable man I have seen in this country and the daughters vastly above the stile of the misses here Lady Belmont intends to take them this winter with her to town as she does every year some gentlemans daughter in her neighbourhood
Adieu I am peevish beyond measure and scarce know what I would be at Have you never these kind of feels Never fretful you cannot tell why It is well for you you are not here a lover and a favourite lapdog have a dreadful life on these occasions or indeed any animal one can use ill with impunity Strangely severe to day do not you perceive it
Six oClock
Ten thousand times more peevish than ever we have just had a visit from
the best kind of woman in the world
and her daughter
an amiable and accomplished young lady
who writes verses and journals paints makes shell flowers cuts paper and has
every qualification to render the marriage state happy
talks of the charms of rural retirement the pleasures of reflexion the beauties of the mind; and sings
Loves a gentle generous passion
It was not in nature to have stood it a quarter of an hour Heaven be praised the play hour is come and the coaches are at the door
Eleven oClock
We have seen them enact Juliet and Romeo Lady Julia seemed to sympathize with the heroine
Ill not wed Paris Romeo is my husband
Buona Notte
WE have been all extremely busy today celebrating a harvesthome a long procession of our village youths all drest gaily in fine shirts adorned with ribbands paired with the handsomest of the country girls in white jackets and petticoats garlands of flowers and wheatears on their heads their rakes streaming with various coloured ribbands which glittered in the sunbeams preceded the harvest cart on which in a bower of green boughs stood a beautiful little girl drest in the rural stile with inimitable elegance by the hands of Lady Julia herself The gay procession walked slowly through the village a tabor and pipe playing before them till they came before the house where they danced a thousand little rustic dances the novelty of which charmed me extremely they then adjourned to the hall where a plentiful feast was provided and where the whole village were that night my Lords guests
Lord Belmont is extremely fond of all these old customs and will suffer none of them to be left off on his estate The prospect of this festivity he says chears them in their labor and is a laudable tribute of gladness to that beneficent being to whose bounty we owe the full reward of our toil the plenteous harvest and who rejoices in the happiness of his creatures
Besides says my Lord all these amusements encourage a spirit of matrimony and encrease the number of my people
And pray my dear Lord do they encourage no other spirit
No Madam Lady Belmonts anger and mine would in such a case they know contrary to that of the world fall chiefly where it ought on the seducer who would be for ever expelled my estate the heaviest punishment I could possibly inflict Then as I am a declared enemy to interested marriages the young people are allowed to chuse for themselves which removes the temptation to vice which is generally caused by the shameful avarice of parents
Our example too is of great service and and allures them to a regular behaviour they think that must be the happiest life which we, who have the power of chusing prefer and therefore it is the fashion amongst them to be regular and seek their happiness as we do at home
I believe my Lord is right I am well pleased too he throws the blame on you he wretches and excuses the poor lasses In the eye of the world it is to be sure
toute au contraire
but my Lord and Lady Belmont are so singular as to see with their own eyes
Adieu We are all to go down one dance with the villagers and I hear the tabor and pipe
O Heavens a coach and six the Mandeville livery a running footman it must be Lady Mary I will enquire it is herself my Lord flies to receive her in the court Lady Belmont and Lady Julia are at the door she alights I never saw her before her figure is striking full of dignity and that grace which is almost lost in this generation she enters the house leaning on my Lord I am grieved Harry is gone I wished her to be some time with him she only just saw him as he came through London in his way to Belmont
But I must go to pay my respects Adieu
AS I was sitting alone this morning at the inn looking out at a window I saw ride into the yard Mr Herbert the gentleman to whom I took so strong an inclination at Lord Ts and for whose character I have the highest esteem He saw me and springing eagerly from his horse sent to know if I would admit him He came and after expressing some surprize at seeing me there on my telling him I had left Lord Ts and waited there a few days for letters he insisted on my spending that time at his house in a manner which it was impossible for me to refuse As we rode he apologized for the entertainment I should meet with wished for a larger share of the gifts of fortune that he might receive his friends in a manner more suited to his desires but said if he knew me the heart of the host was all I should care for and that I should relish the homely meat of chearful friendship as well as the splendid profusion of luxury and pride
We arrived at a neat house with a little romantic garden behind it where we were received by Mrs Herbert with that hospitable air which is inseparable from real benevolence of heart Her person was extremely pleasing and her dress elegantly plain She had a little boy sitting by her lovely and playful as a Cupid
Neatness and propriety presided at our frugal meat and after a little desert of excellent fruit from their garden Mr Herbert took me the tour of his estate which consists of about seventy acres which he cultivates himself and has embellished with every thing that can make it lovely all has the appearance of content and peace I observed this to him and added that I infinitely envied his happiness He stopped and looked earnestly at me I am indeed said he happy in many things and though my fortune is greatly below my birth and hopes I am not in want things may be better till then I bear them as I can my wife whose worth outweighs all praise combats our ill fate with a spirit I cannot always imitate for her Mr Mandeville for her I feel with double keenness the stings of adversity
I observed him too much affected to pursue the subject farther I therefore changed it and returned to the house but I will not leave him till I am instructed how to draw the worm of discontent from one of the worthiest of human bosoms
Write to me here I shall stay till I know when my father will be in the country Adieu
I AM charmed with Lady Mary her address is easy polite attentive she is tall brown well made and perfectly graceful her air would inspire awe if not softened by the utmost sweetness and affability of behaviour She has great vivacity in her looks and manner her hair is quite white her eyes have lost their lustre yet it is easy to see she has been very handsome her hand and arm are yet lovely of which she is not a little vain take her for all in all she is the finest ruin I ever beheld
She is full of anecdotes of the queens time chose with judgment and told with spirit which make her conversation infinitely amusing She has been saying so many fine things of Harry who by the way strongly resembles her that I begin to think the good old lady has a matrimonial design upon him really not amiss such a scheme fine remains an affluent fortune and as to years eighty is absolutely the best age I know for a wife except eighteen She thinks him what is extremely in his favor very like her brother who was killed at the battle of Almanza
She has the talkativeness of age which where there is sense and knowledge of the world I do not dislike she is learned in genealogy and can tell you not only the intermarriages but the family virtues and vices of every ancient house in the kingdom as to the modern ones she does not think them worth studying I am high in her favour because my blood has never been contaminated by a city marriage She tells me the women of my family have always been famous for a certain ease and bon air which she is glad to see is not lost and that my grandmother was the greatest ornament of Queen Marys court
She has a great contempt for the present race of beauties says the very idea of grace is almost lost and that we see nothing now but meer pretty women that she can only account for this by supposing the trifling turn of their minds gives an insignificance to their persons and that she would advise them to learn to think and act in order to their being able to look and move with dignity
You nephew she says who remember each bright Churchill of the Galaxy will readily come into my opinion
She does me the honor however to say I am the most graceful woman she has seen since the Queens time
She is a great politician and something inclined to be a tory though she professes perfect impartiality loves the king and idolizes the queen because she thinks she sees in her the sweet affability so admired in her favourite Queen MaryForgives the cits for their opposition to peace because they get more money by war the criterion by which they judge of every thing but is amazed nobles born guardians of the just rights of the throne the fountain of all their honors should join these interested Changealley politicians and endeavour from private pique to weaken the hands of their sovereign But adds with a sigh that mankind were always alike and that it was just so in the Queens Time
But pray nephew this CanadaI remember when Hill was sent against it in the Queens time it was thought of great consequence and 2 or 3 years ago pamphlets were wrote I am told by men very well born to prove it was the only point we ought to have in view but a point in which we could scarce hope to succeed Is it really so trifling an acquisition And how comes the nature of it to be so changed now we are likely to keep it
The terms of peace talked of madam said Lord Belmont if we consider them in the only just light their relation to the end for which war was undertaken are such as wisdom and equity equally dictate Canada considered merely as the possession of it gives security to our colonies is of more national consequence to us than all the sugar islands on the globe but if the present inhabitants are encouraged to stay by the mildness of our laws and that full liberty of conscience to which every rational creature has a right if they are taught by every honest art a love for that constitution which makes them free and a personal attachment to the best of princes if they are allured to our religious worship by seeing it in its genuine beauty equally remote from their load of trifling ceremonies and the unornamented forms of the dissenters if population is encouraged the waste lands settled and a whale fishery set on foot we shall find it considered in every light an acquisition beyond our most sanguine hopes
O Ciel I am tired Adieu
I AM still with Mr Herbert whose genius learning and goodness of heart make him an honor to human nature itself I shall never know peace till I find a way to render his situation more worthy of his character
It was with great difficulty I drew from him the following short account of himself
There is nothing in my past life but what is I fear too usual to be worth relating Warmth of temper and the vanity of youth seduced me into a circle of company not to be kept up by one of my fortune at a less price than ruin and the same vanity with inexperience and a false opinion of mankind betrayed me into views not less destructive
My father unhappily died when I was about nineteen leaving me at college master of my own actions of the little estate you see and of four thousand pounds a sum I then thought inexhaustible The reputation of such a sum in my own power drew about me all the worthless young men of sashion in the university whose persuasions and examples led me into a train of expence to which my fortune was far from being equal they flattered those talents of which I thought but too well myself and easily persuaded me I only wanted to be known in the great world to rise to what height I pleased I accompanied them to town full of the idea of raising my fortune to which they assured me nothing so much contributed as the appearance of being perfectly at ease To this end I launched into every expence they proposed dress equipage play and every fashionable extravagance I was well received every where and thought my designs in a prosperous way I found my fortune however decaying at the end of two years but had not courage to enquire into particulars till drawing upon my banker for money to pay some debts I had unwarily contracted he told me he had already paid the whole
It was some time before he could convince me of this but finding his accounts had all the appearance of exactness I was obliged to acquiesce and went home in an agony of despair Unable to quit a way of life which was become habitual and which it was now impossible to support without dishonesty there is no describing my feelings After revolving a thousand different schemes in my imagination I determined to conceal the situation of my affairs to sell my estate and before that money was gone press my great friends to serve me
I applied to my banker who undertook to send me a purchaser but before I had compleated my design I received by the post a bank note of five hundred pounds the sum I was indebted in town with a letter in a hand unknown to me representing in the most delicate manner the imprudence of my past conduct the madness of my views and the certain consequences of my parting with this my last stake intreating me by the memory of my parents to preserve this sacred deposit this little remain of what their tender care had left me
Melted with this generosity struck with the just reproof yet chained down to that world which had undone me convinced yet irresolute I struggled with my own own heart to determine on retiring into the country but to postpone as long as possible a retreat which I could not bear to think of resolved first to try my great friends and be certain of what I had to hope for I represented to them the necessity of immediately attempting in earnest to push my fortune and pressing them closely found their promises were air They talked in general terms of their esteem for me of my merit and each of them expressed the warmest desire of seeing me served by any means but his own As a means to animate their languid friendship I discovered to them the real state of my affairs and from that moment found myself avoided by them all they dropped me by degrees were never at home when I called and at length ceased even to bow to me in public ashamed of their own baseness in thus cruelly deserting me after leading me into ruin most of them sought to excuse it by blackening my character whilst the best of them affected coldly to pity me as a vain foolish fellow who had undone himself by forgetting his own primeval situation and arrogantly presuming to live with them
Burning with indignation I determined at once to break the bands which held me captive I sold my equipage discharged my debts and came down to this place resolved to find out to whom I had been so obliged and by living on half my income to repay this generous benefactor
I took lodgings in a farmhouse and soon found that peace of mind to which I had long been a stranger I tried every method to find out to whom I was indebted for an act of such exalted friendship but in vain till one day a relation being present of whom I had some suspicion I related the story as of another keeping my eyes fixed upon him he remained perfectly unmoved but happening to turn my head I saw a confusion in the air of a young lady in the room with whom I had been bred in the greatest intimacy which excited all my attention She saw me observe her and a blush overspread her cheeks which convinced me I had found the object of my search I changed the subject and the next morning made her a visit when I with great difficulty drew from her a confession that having long had a tender esteem for me she had by a friend in a town watched all my actions that my banker had applied to that very friend to purchase my estate on which seeing me on the brink of absolute ruin she had taken what appeared to her the most probable means to prevent it and was so happy as to see she had succeeded
I dare say I need not tell you this noble creature was my dear Mrs Herbert the smalless of whose fortune added infinitely to the generosity of the action what she had sent me being within a trifle her all
I loved I addressed her and at length was so happy as to call her mine Blest in the most exalted passion for each other a passion which time has rather encreased than abated the narrowness of our circumstances is the only ill we have to complain of even this we have borne with chearfulness in the hope of happier days A late accident has however broke in upon that tranquillity with which Heaven has hitherto blest us It is now about six months since a lady who tenderly esteemed us both sent for me and acquainted me she had procured for me of a gentleman whose family had been obliged to her a living of above three hundred pounds a year in a beautiful situation and desired I would immediately take orders As I was originally educated with a view to the church I consented with inexpressible joy blessing that Heaven which had thus rewarded my Sophias generous affection and given us all that was wanting to compleat our happiness I set out for London with an exulting heart where after being ordained I received the presentation and went down to take possession The house was large and elegant and betrayed me into furnishing it rather better than suited my present circumstances but as I determined on the utmost frugality for some years I thought this of little consequence I set men to work in the garden and wrote my wife an account of our new residence which made her eager to hasten her removal The day of my coming for my family was fixed when my patron came down to his seat which was within sight of the rectory I waited on him and found him surrounded by wretches to whom it was scarce possible to give the name of human profligate abandoned lost even to the sense of shame their conversation wounded reason virtue politeness and all that mankind agree to hold sacred My patron the wealthy heir of a West Indian was raised above them only by fortune and a superior degree of ignorance and savage insensibility He received me with an insolence which I found great difficulty in submitting to and after some brutal general reflexions on the clergy dared to utter expressions relating to the beauty of my wife which fired my soul with indignation breathless with rage I had not power to reply when one of the company speaking low to him he answered aloud Hark you Herbert this blockhead thinks a parson a gentleman and wonders at my treating as I please a fellow who eats my bread
I will sooner want bread Sir said I rising than owe it to the most contemptible of mankind Your living is once more at your disposal I resign all right to it before this company
The pleasure of having acted as I ought swelled my bosom with conscious delight and supported me till I reached home when my heart sunk at the thought of what my Sophia might feel from the disappointment Our affairs too were a little embarassed from which misery I had hoped to be set free instead of which my debts were encreased Mr Mandeville if you never knew the horrors of being in debt you can form no idea of what it is to breathe the air at the mercy of another to labor to struggle to be just whilst the cruel world are loading you with the guilt of injustice
I entered the house filled with horrors not to be conceived My wife met me with eager enquiries about our future residence and with repeated thanks to that God who had thus graciously bestowed on us the means of doing justice to all the world You will imagine what I felt at that moment instead of replying I related to her the treatment I had met with and the character of him to whom we were to be obliged and asked her what she would wish me to do Resign the living said she and trust to that Heaven whose goodness is over all his creatures I embraced her with tears of tender transport and told her I had already done it We wrote to the lady to whose friendship we had been obliged for the presentation and she had the greatness of mind not to disapprove my conduct We have since practised a more severe frugality which we are determined not to relax till what we owe is fully discharged time will we hope bring about this end and remove the load which now oppresses my heart Determined to trust to Heaven and our own industry and to aim at independence alone I have avoided all acquaintance which could interfere with this only rational plan but Lord T seeing me at the house of a nobleman whose virtues do honor to his rank and imagining my fortune easy from my cordial reception there invited me earnestly to his seat where having as I suppose been since undeceived as to my situation you were a witness of his unworthy treatment of me of one descended from a family noble as his own liberally educated with a spirit equally above meanness and pride and a heart which feels too sensibly to be happy in a world like this
Oh Mr Mandeville What can you think of him who instead of pouring out his soul in thankfulness to Heaven for those advantages he enjoys by its goodness above his fellowcreatures makes use of them to wound the bosom of the wretched and add double bitterness to the cup of adversity
The real evils of a narrow fortune are trifling its worst pangs spring from the unfeeling cruelty of others it is not always that philosophy can raise us above the proud mans contumely or those thousand insults
Which patient merit of th unworthy takes
You Mr Mandeville are young and full of probity your own heart will mislead you by drawing too flattering a picture of others the world is gay before you and blinded by prosperity you have never yet seen it as it is I have heard you with infinite concern hint designs too like my own let me intreat let me conjure you to profit by my example if peace is worth your care be content with your paternal fortune however small nor by rashly launching on the flattering sea of hope hazard that shipwreck which I have suffered
Mordaunt Is not this the voice of Heaven I will return to the bosom of independence and give up designs in which it is almost impossible for modest worth to succeed
My father is in town I will go to him when he returns his advice shall determine my future conduct
A letter from Lady Julia my servant has this moment brought it from Lord Ts whither I desired it be directed not chusing to let them know I have put an end to my visit lest Lord Belmont should insist on my return
IN what words shall I assure the most amiable of men he has nothing to fear from Lord Melvin If he knows my heart he knows it incapable of change he knows not his own generous spirit more disdains the low consideration of fortune he knows I can have but one wish that this accidental advantage was on his side that he might taste the transport of obliging her he loves
My duty my gratitude to the best of parents forbids my entering into present engagements without his knowledge nor will I make future ones which would have in view an event on which I cannot think without horror but his commands were he capable of acting so inconsistently with his past indulgent goodness would be insufficient to make me give my hand to Lord Melvin when my heart is fixedly anothers
I may perhaps assume courage to own my sensibility a sensibility justified by such merit in the object, to the tenderest of mothers and friends in the mean time defer your return to Belmont and hope every thing from time my fathers friendship and my unalterable esteemEsteem did I say Where did I learn this coldness of expression Let me own though I am covered with blushes whilst I write it is from my love my ardent love from a passion which is the pride and boast of my life that the most charming of mankind has every thing to hope if his happiness depends on my affection he is happy
You shall hear from me by Lady Anne and my beloved Emily at present you will not ask to hear from me Adieu
O Mordaunt How shall I restrain the wild transports of my heart Her love her most ardent loveHow could I suspect her truthNo my friend I ask no more I will not return to Belmont certain of her tenderness I submit without repining to her commands
Unable however to resist the desire of being near her I will go privately to a little farm four miles from Belmont of which it has a view which is rented by an old servant of my fathers whose son is in love with one of Lady Belmonts maids and from whom I shall hear daily accounts of Lady Julia as it is near the road I may even have a chance of seeing her pass by
I shall leave my servants at the inn and order all my letters hither Mr Herbert will convey them to me and keep the secret of my retreat
Great heaven I shall tonight be near her I shall behold the turrets of Belmont It is even possible I may see the dear object of all my wishes A thousand sweet ideas rise in my mind My heart dances with pleasure
Mordaunt she loves me she will never be anothers
This passion absorbs me wholly I had almost forgot my friend go to my bankers take a hundred pounds and send it by the post to Mr Herbert without letting him know from whom it comes Why is this trifle all that is in my power to do for worth like his If a happier fateBut let me not encourage the fanguine hopes of youth
I will introduce him to Lord Belmont the friend of virtue the support of the unhappy the delegate of Heaven itself
A Pretty sentimental letter your last and would make an admirable figure in a true history of Celadon and Urania Absolutely though Belville for people who have sensibility and so little prospect of coming together in an honorable way we are a most extraordinary pair of lovers And yet the worldapropos to the world a French author I am reading says a wise writer to divert the fury of criticism from his works should throw it now and then an indiscretion in his conduct to play with as seamen do a tub to the whale
Do not you think this might be a useful hint to us beauties If I treat the good old ladies sometimes with a little imprudence in regard to you my complexion may escape the better for it
We are just returned from a party on the water which like most concerted parties turned out exceedingly dull we had gilded barges excellent musick an elegant repast and all that could invite pleasure amongst us but whether her ladyship be a true coquette flying fastest when pursued or what is the reason I know not but certain it is one seldom finds her when one goes to seek her her visits are generally spontaneous and unexpected she rejects all invitations and comes upon you in her own way by surprize I set off in high spirits my heart beating with expectation and never past a more languid day I fancied every moment would be pleasanter but found the last hour as spiritless as the first I saw chagrin and disappointment in the eyes of half the company especially the younger part of it Lady Julias seemed to say
All this would be charming if Harry Mandeville was here
My own ideas were something similar I could not keep my imagination from wandering a little to Grosvenorstreet most of the misses were in the same situation whilst the good old people seemed perfectly satisfied which convinces me that at a certain time of life there is no pleasure without the heart where that is untouched and takes no part in your amusements all is still life and vegetation it is in vain to expect enjoyment from outward objects where the soul is from home
I missed my sweet Harry exceedingly for though not a lover he is a divine fellow and there is something vastly amusing in having so agreeable an object before ones eyes
Whenever I make a party of pleasure it shall consist all of lovers who have not met of a twelvemonth
Who should we meet on our return but Fondville in a superb barge full of company dying at the feet of the Cittadina who was singing a melting Italian air Yes we are to be Lady Viscountess Fondville all is agreed the clothes bespoke our very garters interwoven with coronets I shall get off before the days of visitation for there will be no supporting Madame la Viscomtesse
I have been taking half an hour tete ÌÊ tete with Lady Mary and have let her into the secret of little Westbrooks passion for Harry She drew up at the very mention was astonished that a creature of yesterday could think of mixing his blood with that of Mandeville declared she knew but twenty houses in Europe into which she should ever consent to Harrys marrying
I took this opportunity of giving a hint of his inclination for Lady Julia but am doubtful whether she understood me Oh that he had Lord Melvins expectations But why do I wish for impossibilities Let me rather wish what is next to impossible that Lord Belmont would overlook the want of them
Adieu
O CIEL Une avanture Making use of the sweet liberty of Belmont which has no rule but that of the Thelemites
Do what thou wilt
I left them after dinner to settle family affairs and ordered my chariot to take a solitary airing an old cat however arriving just as it came to the door who is a famous proficient in scandal a treat I am absolutely deprived of at Belmont I changed my mind and asked her to accompany me that I might be amused with the secret history of all the neighbourhood
She had torn to pieces half a dozen of the prettiest women about us when passing through a little village about six miles from Belmont I was struck with the extreme neatness of a small house and garden near the road there was an elegant plainness in the air of it which pleased me so much that I pulled the string and ordered the coachman to stop that I might examine it more at leisure I was going to bid him drive on when two women came out of an aroor one of whom instantly engaged all my attention
Imagine to yourself in such a place all that is graceful and lovely in woman an elegance of form and habit a dignity of deportment an air of delicate languor and sensibility which won the heart at a look a complexion inclining to pale the finest dark eyes with a countenance in which a modest sorrow and dignified dejection gave the strongest indications of suffering merit
My companion seeing the apparent partiality with which I beheld this amiable object began to give me a history of her embittered by all the virulence of malice which however amounted to no more than that she was a stranger and that as nobody knew who she was they generously concluded she was one whose interest it was not to be known
They now drew nearer to us and the charming creature raising her eyes and then first seeing us exclaimed Good Heaven Lady Anne Wilmot Is it possible I now regarded her more attentively and though greatly changed since I saw her knew her to be Bell Hastings Mr Wilmots niece whom I had been long endeavouring to find I sprung from the chariot to meet her and need not tell you my transport at so unexpected a rencounter
After the common enquiries on meeting I expressed my surprize at finding her there with a gentle reproach at her unkindness in being in England without letting me know it She blushed and seemed embarrassed at what I said on which I changed the subject and pressed her to accompany me immediately to Belmont the place on earth where merit like hers was most sure of finding its best reward esteem She declined this proposal in a manner which convinced me she had some particular reason for refusing which I doubted not her taking a proper time to explain and therefore gave it up for the present I insisted however on her promising to go with me to town and that nothing but a matrimonial engagement should separate her from me There is no describing the excess of her gratitude tears of tender sensibility shone in her eyes and I could see her bosom swell with sensations to which she could not give utterance
An hour passed without my having thought of my meagre companion at the gate I was not sorry for having accidentally mortified the envious wretch for her spite to poor Bell However as I would not designedly be shocking I sent to her and apologized for my neglect which I excused from my joy at meeting unexpectedly with a relation for whom I had the tenderest friendship The creature alighted at my request and to make amends for the picture she had drawn of my amiable niece overwhelmed her with civilities and expressions of esteem which would have encreased my contempt for her if any thing in nature could
After tea we returned when I related my adventure and though so late could scarce prevail on Lady Belmont to defer her visit to Bell till tomorrow She hopes to be able to prevail on her to accompany us back to Belmont
Adio caro
I Write this from my new abode a little sequestered farm at the side of a romantic wood there is an arbor in the thickest grove of intermingled jessamines and roses Here William meditates future happy hours when joined to his lovely Anna he has adorned it with every charm of nature, to please the mistress of his soul here I pass my sweetest hours here William brings me news of Lady Julia he is this moment returned he saw her walking to the rustic temple leaning on Emily Howard he tells me she sighed as she past him O Mordaunt was that sigh for me
Not certain Lady Julia would forgive my being so near her or a concealment which has so guilty an air I have enjoined William secrecy even to his Anna and bribed it by a promise of making him happy My letters therefore come round by Mr Herberts and it is three days before I receive them I have not yet heard from Belmont or my father I am supposed to be still at Lord Ts
Ever an enthusiast from warmth of heart and imagination my whole soul is devoted to Lady Julia I pass my days in carving that loved name on the rinds of the smoothest trees and when the good old man retires to his rest William and I steal forth and ride to the end of Belmont Park where having contemplated the dear abode of all that earth contains of lovely and breathed an ardent prayer to Heaven for her happiness I return to my rustic retreat and wait patiently till the next evening brings back the same pleasing employment
Since I left Belmont I have never known happiness like what I now feel Certain of her tenderness tranquillity is restored to my soul for ever employed in thinking of her that painful restraint which company brought is removed the scenes around me and the dear solitude I enjoy are proper to flatter a lovesick heart my passion is soothed by the artless expression of Williams I make him sit hours talking of his Anna he brings me every day intelligence of my angel I see every hour the place which she inhabits Am I not most happy Her idea is perpetually before me when I walk in these sweet shades so resembling those of Belmont I look round as if expecting to behold her I start at every sound and almost fancy her lovely form in my view
Oh Mordaunt what transport do I find in this sweet delirium of love How eagerly do I expect the return of evening Could I but once again behold her Once again swear eternal passionI have a thousand things to say
I Have this moment a letter from Bell Hastings which I send you I wish her here yet know not how to press it after so rational an apology
BEFORE I absolutely accept or refuse your ladyships generous invitation allow me to account to you for my being in a place where you so little expected to find me but which I am convinced you will acquiesce in my continuing in when you know the motives which induced me to make choice of it
When my uncle married your ladyship you may remember he left me in a convent at Paris where I staid till his death I should then have returned but having contracted a very tender friendship for a young lady of the first quality in England she pressed me to continue there till her return which was fixed for the year following About three months before we intended to leave Paris her brother arrived on which occasion she left the convent and went to spend her remaining time with an aunt who then resided in France and who being told I had staid the last year in complaisance to her amiable niece insisted on my accompanying her to spare a long narrative of common events the brother of my friend became passionately in love with me and I was so unhappy as to be too sensible to his tenderness he intreated me to conceal our attachment from his sister for the present professed the most honorable designs told me he did not doubt of bringing his father to consent to a marriage to which there could be no objection that was not founded in the most fordid avarice and on which the happiness of his life depended
The time of our intended return to England drawing near he employed and successfully the power he had over my heart to influence my acceptance of an invitation given me by a friend of my mothers to accompany her to Florence where I promised to stay till his return from Rome
Too much in love as he said and I weakly believed to support a longer absence he came in a few months to Florence we were then in the country with a Florentine nobleman whose lady was related to my friend to whom he was strongly recommended and who gave him an invitation to his villa which I need not tell you he accepted We saw each other continually but under a restraint which whilst it encreased our mutual passion was equally painful to both At length he contrived to give me a letter pressing me to see him alone in the garden at an hour he mentioned I went and found the most beloved of men waiting for me in a grove of oranges He saw me at a distance I stopped by an involuntary impulse he ran to me he approached me with a transport which left me no room to doubt of his affection
After an hour spent in vows of everlasting love he pressed me to marry him privately which I refused with an air of firmness but little suited to the state of my heart and protested no consideration should ever induce me to give him my hand without the consent of his father
He expressed great resentment of a resolution which he affirmed was inconsistent with a real passion pretended jealousy of a young nobleman in the house and artfully hinted at returning immediately to England then softening his voice implored my compassion vowed he could not live without me and so varied his behaviour from rage to the most seducing softness that the fear of displeasing him who was dearer to me than life assisted by the tender persuasive eloquence of well dissembled love so far prevailed over the dictates of reason and strict honor that unable to resist his despair I consented to a clandestine marriage I then insisted on returning immediately to the house to which he consented though unwillingly and leaving me with all the exulting raptures of successful love went to Florence to prepare a priest to unite us promising to return with him in the morning the next day passed and the next without my hearing of him a whole week elapsed in the same manner convinced of his affection my fears were all for his safety my imagination presented danger in every form and no longer able to support terrors of my mind filled with a thousand dreadful ideas I sent a servant to enquire for him at the house where he lodged who brought me word he had left Florence the very morning on which I expected his return Those only who have loved like me can conceive what I felt at this news but judge into what an abyss of misery I was plunged on receiving a few hours after a letter from his sister pressing me to return to her at Paris where she was still waiting in compliance with orders from home for her brother who was to accompany her to England directly to marry an heiress for whom he had been long intended by his father she added that I must not lose a moment for that her brother would before I could receive the letter be on the road to Paris
Rage love pride resentment indignation now tore my bosom alternately After a conflict of different passions I determined on forgetting my unworthy lover whose neglect appeared to me the contemptible insolence of superior fortune I left the place the next day as if for Paris but taking the nearest way to England came hither to a clergymans widow who had been a friend of my mothers to whom I told my story and with whom I determined to stay concealed till I heard the fate of my lover I made a solemn vow in the first heat of my resentment never to write to him or let him know my retreat and though with infinite difficulty I have hitherto kept it But what have I not suffered for this conduct which though my reason dictates my heart condemns A thousand times have I been on the point of discovering myself to him and at least giving him an opportunity of vindicating himself I accuse myself of injustice in condemning him unheard and on appearances which might be false So weak is a heart in love that though when I chose my place of retreat I was ignorant of that circumstance it was with pleasure though a pleasure I endeavoured to hide from myself that I heard it was only ten miles from his fathers seat I ought certainly to have changed it on this knowledge but find a thousand plausible reasons to the contrary and am but too successful in deceiving myself
Convinced of the propriety of my conduct in avoiding him I am not the more happy My heart betrays me and represents him continually to my imagination in the most amiable light as a faithful lover injured by my suspicions and made wretched by my loss
Torn by sentiments which vary every moment the struggles of my soul have impaired my health and will in time put an end to a life to the continuance of which without him I am perfectly indifferent
Determined however to persist in a conduct which whatever I suffer from it is certainly my duty I cannot as I hear he is returned consent to come to Belmont where it is scarce possible I should fail meeting a man of his rank who must undoubtedly be of Lord Belmonts acquaintance
Till he is married or I am convinced I have injured him I will not leave this retreat at least I will not appear where I am almost certain of meeting him whom I ought for ever to avoid
O Lady Anne How severe is this trial How painful the conquest over the sweetest affections of the human heart How mortifying to love an object which one has ceased to esteem Convinced of his unworthiness my passion remains the same nor will ever cease but with life I at once despise and adore him yes my tenderness is if possible more lively than ever and though he has doomed me to misery I would die to contribute to his happiness
You Madam will I know pity and forgive the inconsistencies of a heart ashamed of its own weaknesses yet too sincere to disguise or palliate them I am no stranger to your nobleness of sentiment in your friendship and compassion all my hopes of tranquillity are founded I will endeavour to conquer this illplaced prepossession and render myself more worthy your esteem If his marriage with another makes it impossible for him to suppose I throw myself designedly in his way I will go with you to town in the winter and try if the hurry of the world can erase his image from my bosom If he continues unconnected and no accident clears up to me his conduct I will continue where I am and for ever hide my folly in this retreat
Poor Bell how I pity her Heaven certainly means love for our reward in another world it so seldom makes it happy in this But why do we blame heaven It is our own prejudices our rage for wealth our cowardly compliance with the absurd opinions of others which robs us of all the real happiness of life
I should be glad to know who this despicable fellow is though really it is possible she may injure him I must know his name and find out whether or not she is torturing herself without reason If he bears scrutinizing our plans may coincide and my jointure make us all happy if not he shall have the mortification of knowing she has an easy fortune and of seeing her what it shall be my business to make her next winter one of the most fashionable women and celebrated toasts about town
After all are we not a little in the machine style not to be able to withdraw our love when our esteem is at an end I suppose one might find a philosophical reason for this in Newtons Laws of Attraction The heart of a woman does I imagine naturally gravitate towards a handsome welldressed wellbred fellow without enquiry into his mental qualities Nay as to that do not let me be partial to you odious men you have as little taste for mere internal charms as the lightest coquette in town You talk sometimes of the beauties of the mind; but I should be glad as somebody has said very well to see one you of in love with a mind of threescore
I am really sorry for Bell but hope to bring her out of these heroics by Christmas The town air and being followed five or six weeks as a beauty will do wonders I know no specific for a lovefit like a constant crowd of pretty fellows
The world I dare say will soon restore her to her senses it is impossible she should ever regain them in a lonely village with no company but an old woman
How dearly we love to nurse up our follies Bell I dare say fancies vast merit in this romantic constancy to a man who if he knew her absurdity would laugh at it
I have no patience with my own sex for their want of spirit
O Heavens who could have thought it Of all the birds in the air find me out Lord Melvin for Bell Hastingss lover Nothing was ever so charming I tell the story which does his business here in a moment serves my lovely Harry and punishes the wretchs infidelity as it deserves Adieu I fly to communicate
All this is very strange to me Lord Belmont to whom I last night mentioned Lord Melvins connexion with Bell as a reason against his marrying Lady Julia assures me no such thing was ever intended that he was amazed how I came to think so that Lord Rochdale has other views for his son to which however he is averse I am glad to hear this last circumstance and hope Bell has wronged him by her suspicions
But who can this be that is intended for Lady Julia I do not love to be impertinent but my curiosity is rather excited I shall not sleep till I am in this secret I must follow my Lord about till I get a clue to direct me How shall I begin the attack
Really my Lord says I this surprizes me extremely I could have sworn Lord Melvin was the person your Lordship meant if it is not him who can it be
Yes this will do I will go to him directlyCruel man how he plays with my anxiety He is gone out in a postchaise with Lady Julia the chaise drove from the door this moment
I can say not a word more I am on the rack of expectation I could not be more anxious about a lover of my own
The heir of an earldom and of an affluent fortune
I have tortured my brain this hour and not a scruple the nearer
Adieu
O Mordaunt I have seen her have heard the sound of that enchanting voice my Lord was in the chaise with her they stopped to drink fresh cream William presented her a nosegay she thanked him with an air of sweetness which would have won the soul of a savage My heart beat with unutterable transport it was with difficulty I restrained myself
Mordaunt I must return I can no longer bear this absence I will write this moment to Lord Belmont and own my passion for his daughter I will paint in the most lively colors my love and my despair I will tell him I have nothing to hope from the world and throw myself intirely on his friendship I know the indiscretion of this proceeding I know I ought not to hope success but I have too long concealed my sentiments and pursued a conduct unworthy of my heart
I have wrote I have sent away the letter I have said all that can engage his heart in my favor tomorrow he will receive my letter tomorrowO Mordaunt how soon will my fate be determined! A chillness seizes me at the thought my hand trembles it is with difficulty I hold the pen I have entreated an immediate answer it will come inclosed to Mr Herbert to whom I have wrote to bring the letter himself On Wednesday I shall be the most happy or most lost of mankind What a dreadful interval will it be My heart dies within me at the thought
I AM commissioned by Lady Anne my dear Mr Mandeville to insist on your immediate return she declares she can no longer support the country without you but shall die with chagrin and ennui even play itself has lost half its charms in your absence Lady Mary my wife and daughter join in the same request which I have a thousand reasons to press your complying with as soon as is consistent with what politeness exacts in regard to Lord T
One and not the weakest is the pleasure I find in conversation a pleasure I never taste more strongly than with you and a pleasure which promiscuous visiters have for some time ceased to give me I have not lost my relish for society but it grows in spite of all my endeavors more delicate I have as great pleasure as ever in the conversation of select friends but I cannot so well bear the common run of company I look on this delicacy as one of the infirmities of age and as much a symptom of decay as it would be to losemy taste for roast beef and be able only to relish ortolans
Lord Fondville is next week to marry Miss Westbrook they have a coach making which is to cost a thousand pounds
I am interrupted by a worthy man to whom I am so happy as to be able to do a service to you I need make no other apology
Adieu my amiable friend
GrosvenorStreet
CAN the most refined of her sex at the very moment when she owns herself shocked at Mrs Hs malicious insinuation refuse to silence her by making me happy Can she submit to one of the keenest evils a sensible and delicate mind can feel only to inflict torment on the man whose whole happiness depends on her and to whose tenderness she has owned herself not insensible
Seeing your averseness to marriage I have never pressed you on a subject which seemed displeasing to you but left it to time and my unwearied love to dissipate those unjust and groundless prejudices which stood in the way of all my hopes but does not this respect this submission demand that you should strictly examine those prejudices and be convinced before you make it that they deserve such a sacrifice
Why will you my dearest Lady Anne urge your past unhappiness as a reason against entering into a state of which you cannot be a judge You were never married the soft consent of hearts the tender sympathy of yielding minds was wanting forced by the will of a tyrannic father to take on you an insupportable yoke too young to assert the rights of humanity the freedom of your will destroyed the name of marriage is profaned by giving it to so detestable an union
You have often spoke with pleasure of those sweet hours we past at Sudley Farm Can you then refuse to perpetuate such happiness Are there no charms in the unreserved converse of the man who adores you Or can you prefer the unmeaning flattery of fools you despise to the animated language of faithful love
If you are still insensible to my happiness will not my interest prevail on you to relent My uncle who has just lost his only son offers to settle his whole estate on me on condition I immediately marry a condition it depends on you alone whether I shall comply with If you refuse he gives it on the same terms to a distant relation whose mistress has a less cruel heart Have you so little generosity as to condemn me at once to be poor and miserable to lose the gifts both of love and fortune
I have wrote to Lady Belmont to intercede for me and trust infinitely more to her eloquence than my own
The only rational objection to my happiness my uncles estate removes you will bring me his fortune and your own will make Bell Hastings happy if you now refuse you have the heart of a tygress and delight in the misery of others
Interrupted my uncle May all good angels guard the most amiable and lovely of women and give her to her passionate
BELLVILLE
WILL you marry me my dear Ally Croaker
For ever this question Belville And yet really you seem to be not at all in the secret
Respect submission
I thought you had known the sex better How should a modest woman ever be prevailed on by a respectful submissive lover You would not surely have us
O Heavens A billet Some despairing inamorato Indeed Lord Melvin He is not going to make love to me sure
Very well things are in a fine train He writes me here as pretty an heroic epistle as one would desire setting forth his passion for Bell Hastings whom he has just discovered is my niece and whom he declares he cannot live without owning appearances are against him and begging me to convey to her a long tidi didum letter explaining the reasons and causes--The story is tedious but the sum total is this that he found at Florence the friend on earth he most loved engaged in an affair of honor in which he could not avoid taking part as his second that they went to the last town in the Tuscan state in order to escape into another if any accident made it necessary to elude the pursuit of justice that to avoid suspicion he left orders with his people to say he had left Florence that he wrote to her by his valet who was unfortunately seized and confined the affair being suspected that he was wounded and obliged to stay some time before he could return to Florence when he was informed she had left Italy and though he had omitted no means to find her had never been so happy as to succeed had made his sister Lady Louisa his confident and by her assistance had almost prevailed on his father to consent
Almost prevailed on
Really these are pretty airs I shall write him an extreme stately answer and let him know if he expects Miss Hastings to do him the honor his address must be in quite another style Miss Hastings in blood in merit in education in every thing truly valuable and in fortune too if I please his equal I wish the foolish girl was not so madly in love with him for I long to torture his proud heart I cannot resist teizing him a little but as I know her weakness and and that we must come to at last I shall be forced to leave a door of mercy open I shall however insist on his familys seeking the match and on Lord Rochdales asking her of me in form I will not yield a scruple of our dignity on this occasion
But I must carry this letter to Bell
Adieu
As to your foolish question I may perhaps allow you to visit at Belmont I will promise no more at present
Did I tell you we all spent yesterday with my niece She has the honor to please Lady Mary who on seeing her at a little distance with Lady Julia and me no ill group certainly insisted on our sitting next winter for a picture of the Graces dancing
Or suppose Madam said I the three Goddesses on mount Ida with Harry Mandeville for our Paris
Poor little Emily being equally under size for a Grace or a Goddess must be content to be a Hebe in a single piece
Adio
London
THIS event in Russia is most extraordinary but these sudden and violent revolutions are the natural consequences of that instability which must ever attend despotic forms of government Happy Britain where the laws are equally the guard of prince and people where liberty and prerogative go hand in hand and mutually support each other where no invasion can ever be made on any part of the constitution without endangering the whole where popular clamor like the thunderstorm by agitating clears and purifies the air and its business done subsides
If this letter finds you at Lord Ts I would have you return immediately to Belmont where I shall be in a few days Lady Mary is already there and intends to execute the design Lord Belmont mentioned to you which makes your presence there absolutely necessary
The tide of fortune my dear Harry seems turning in your favor but let it not harden your heart to the misfortunes of your fellowcreatures make you insolent to merit in the vale of humbler life or tempt you to forget that all you possess is the gift of that beneficent power in whose sight virtue is the only distinction
The knowledge I have of your heart makes these cautions perhaps unnecessary but you will forgive the excessive anxiety of paternal tenderness alarmed at the near prospect of your tasting the poison most fatal to youth the intoxicating cup of prosperity
May Heaven my dearest Harry continue you all you are at present Your father has not another wish
Adieu
I Staid late last night with Bell there is no telling you her transport she agrees with me however as to the propriety of keeping up our dignity and has consented though with infinite reluctance not to admit Lord Melvins visits till his father has made proposals to me She is to see him first at Belmont whither she removes in four or five days Emily Howard is gone at my request to spend that interval with her We have a divine scheme in our heads which you are not yet to be honored with the knowledge of
Oh do you know I have this morning discovered why Lady Mary is a Tory She has been flattered by Bolingbroke and sung by Atterbury had Addison tuned his lyre to her praise she had certainly changed parties I am seldom at a loss to explore the source of petticoat politics Vanity is the moving spring in the female machine as interest is in the male Certainly our principle of action is by much the more noble
Eleven oClock
Lord What is come to my mother
She is gone smiling into Lady Marys room her air is gay beyond measure it is she must sit for a dancing Grace
Past Twelve
There is something in agitation with which I am unacquainted Lord and Lady Belmont have been an hour in close consultation with Lady Mary la bella Julia is this moment summoned to attend them This unknown lover I tremble for Harry should another
Almost One
I Have your letter this Russian eventtrueas you say these violent convulsionsYes you are right your reflexions are perfectly just but my thoughts are at present a little engaged This consultation I fear bodes Harry no goodShould my Lords authorityI am on the rack of impatience
The door opens Lady Julia comes this way she has been in tears I tremble at the sightBellville they are not tears of sorrow they are like the dewdrops on the morning rose she looks a thousand times more lovely through them her eyes have a melting languishment a softness inexpressible a sensibility mixed with transportThere is an animation in her look a blush of unexpected happinessShe moves with the lightness of a woodnymphLady Belmont follows with a serene joy in that amiable countenance They approach they are already im my apartment
Adio
Bellville In what wordsHow shall I explain to youI am breathless with pleasure and surprizeMy LordHarry MandevilleLady JuliaThey were always intended for each other
A letter from Harry this morning confessing his passion for Lady Julia determined them to make an immediate discoveryRead the enclosed letters and adore the goodness of Providence which leads us by secret ways to that happiness our own wisdom could never arrive at
My dear Col
BY a clause in the patent which has been hitherto kept secret in our part of the family it is provided that on default of heirs male in the younger branch the title of Earl of Belmont should go to the elder in favor also of this disposition the greatest part of the estate then in our possession which is about half what I now enjoy is by a deed in which however my lawyer tells me there is a flaw which makes it of no effect annexed to the title for ever Julia being the only child we ever had it is very probable the estate and title will be yours Heaven having blest you with a son it would be infinitely agreeable to me and would keep up the splendor of our name to agree on an intermarriage between our children I would have you educate your son with this view and at an expence becoming the heir of the titles and possessions of our family but as it is possible I may yet have a son in that case Lady Mary our relation whose heart is greatly set on this marriage will settle her estate on yours and I will give him my daughter with twenty thousand pounds
I insist on being at the whole expence of his education as my heir as the estate will probably be his own it is only anticipating his rents a few years and does not lay him under the shadow of an obligation
I have mentioned above that there is a defect in the deed which puts it in my power to rob you of your right in the estate but as the design of our ancestor is clear I take no merit to myself from not being the most infamous of mankind which I should be were I capable of making use of such a circumstance to your disadvantage
But could I reconcile so base an action to myself in a private light no consideration could make it easy to me in a public one I know nothing so dangerous to our happy constitution as an indigent nobility chained down to a necessity of court dependence or tempted by making faction the tool of ambition to disturb the internal peace of their country Men who are at ease in their fortunes are generally good subjects the preservation of what they have is a powerful tie of obedience it is the needy the dissolute the Caesars the Catilines of the world who raise the storms which shake the foundation of government
You will imagine my dear friend I only intend this alliance to take place if their sentiments when of age to judge for themselves correspond with our intentions for their happiness that this may be the case let us educate them with the utmost care in every accomplishment of mind and person which can make them lovely in the eyes of each other
Let me my dear colonel hear immediately if this proposal is as agreeable to you as to
Your faithful and affectionate BELMONT
I AM greatly obliged to your Lordship for a proposal which does my son such honor and for a conduct towards us both so noble and worthy your character
The disposition you mention is what I have sometimes hoped but knew your Lordships honor and integrity too well to think it necessary to make any enquiry convinced if a settlement was made in my favor you would in due time make me acquainted with it till some probability appeared of its taking place it was perhaps better concealed than disclosed
The alliance your Lordship proposes if it ever takes place, will make me the happiest of mankind having however observed marriages made by parents in the childhood of the parties to be generally disagreeable to the latter whether from the perverseness of human nature or the free spirit of love impatient of the least controll will intreat our design may be kept secret from all the world and in particular from the young people themselves all we can do is to give them such an education as will best improve the gifts of nature, and render them objects of that lively and delicate affection which alone can make such a connexion happy Perhaps it may be best to separate them till the time when the heart is most susceptible of tenderness lest an habitual intercourse should weaken that impression which we wish their perfections to make on each other Both at present promise to be lovely and if we guard against other attachments the charm of novelty added to what nature has done for them and those acquired graces which it is our part to endeavour to give them can scarce fail of inspiring a mutual passion which ones seeming to desire it would probably prevent
If I am so happy as to have your Lordships concurrence in these sentiments I will remove my son immediately from your neighbourhood and educate him in town at a proper time he shall go with a private tutor of birth and merit to the university and from thence make the tour of Europe whilst Lady Julia is advancing in every charm under the eye of the most excellent of mothers
Men who act a conspicuous part on the stage of life and who require a certain audacity and selfpossession to bring their talents into full light cannot in my opinion have too public an education but women whose loveliest charm is the rosy blush of native modesty whose virtues blossom fairest in the vale should never leave their houshold gods the best protectors of innocence
It is also my request that my son may be educated in a total ignorance of the settlement in our favor both because the effect of it may possibly be destroyed by your Lordships having a son and because he will taste the pleasures of a distinguished station if he ever arrives at it with double relish if bred with more moderate expectations He will by this means too escape the pernicious snares of flattery the servile court of interested inferiors and all the various mischiefs which poison the minds of young men bred up as heirs to great estates and titles he will see the hatefulness of pride and arrogance in others before he is tempted to be guilty of them himself he will learn to esteem virtue without those trappings of wealth and greatness which he will never hope to be possessed of he will see the world as it is by not being of consequence enough to be flattered or deceived
His education his company his expences shall however be suited to the rank he may one day possibly fill my acquaintance with foreign courts enables me to introduce him every where to those of the first rank and merit his equipage and attendance shall be such as may secure him general respect
Your Lordships generous offer of bearing the expence of his education deserves my sincerest gratitude but oeconomy will enable me to support it without the least inconvenience to my affairs half my income which I will spare to him with his mothers fortune which shall all be devoted to this purpose will be sufficient to give him an education becoming the heir of your Lordships fortune and honors
May Heaven prosper a design which has so laudable an end in view as the future happiness of our children
I am my Lord Your Lordships Affectionate and obedient Servant J MANDEVILLE
THIS joy is a prodigious enemy to sleep Lady Julia rose this morning with the sun I dare say she never thought he looked so bright before he sets she will see the most charming of mankind My Lord yesterday sent an express to Lord Ts with orders to follow Harry wherever he was and bring him this evening to Belmont Lady Mary is to have the pleasure of making him acquainted with his happiness the discovery was only delayed till convinced of their passion for each other
Colonel Mandeville is in town directing the drawing of the writings and comes down in a few days to have them executed
I have had a second letter from Lord Melvin as respectful as the pride of woman can desire a postscript from Lord Rochdale having satisfied me in point of decorum I allow his son to visit here when he pleases My niece and Emily Howard come this evening Lady Julia is now with them I suppose we shall see Lord Melvin tomorrow if he is very pressing they may perhaps be married with Lady Julia
Heavens Bellville What a change in all our affairs The matrimonial star prevails it would be strange if I should be betrayed into the party and yet Lady Mary has drawn so bewitching a plan of a weddingday as might seduce a more determined coquette if one could be married for that day onlyOr if one was sure of pleasing for ever like Lady Belmont
Dear madam said I if your Ladyship would lend one your Cestus
You are already possessed of it my dear Lady Anne the delicacy and purity of a bride will always give you the charms of one
I believe her Ladyship may be in the right it is not the state but the foolish conduct of people who enter into it that makes it unhappy
If you should come down with Colonel Mandeville it is impossible to say what may happen
Absolutely Bellville if I do condescend which is yet extremely doubtful we will live in the style of lovers I hate the dull road of common marriages no impertinent presuming on the name of husband no saucy freedoms I will continue to be courted and shall expect as much flattery and give myself as many scornful airs as if I had never honored you with my hand
I give you warning I shall make a most intolerable wife but that is your business not mine
This very day sennight which is Lady Julias birthday is intended for her marriage the house is to be full of company invited to celebrate the day without knowing on what further account nobody is even to suspect them to be lovers they are to go privately out of Lady Marys apartment into the chapel where my Lord chuses the ceremony should be performed We are to have a masquerade in a grand open pavillion on Corinthian pillars built for this happy occasion in the garden opposite the house which is to be in view finely illuminated the intermediate space is to be adorned with lamps intermixed with festoons of flowers in the trees round which are to be seats for the villagers who are never forgot on these days of annual rejoicing
Lady Mary who is mistress of the ceremonies and who insists on joining all our hands that day has engaged you for the ball to Lady Julia Harry to Bell Hastings and Lord Melvin to me our situation is to be kept secret for a week which is to be filled up with various scenes of festivity after which we are to go to town to be presented and from thence on a tour of six months to Italy This is her scheme but it depends on Bell Hastings and me whether it shall be executed in full ten thousand to one but our cruelty spoils the prettiest mysterious plan of a wedding that can be Absolutely Lady Mary has a kind of an idea of thingsI cannot conceive how she came by itNot the least symptom of an old maid in this planSomething so fanciful and like a love affairIt is a thousand pities her Ladyship should not be be of the party herself Do you know never a sprightly old courtier of the Queens time
My Lord is so pleased with the thought of seeing us all happy that he has given orders for building a temple to Love and Friendship at a little villa which the colonel has given him and which is almost centrical in respect to all our houses here we are to meet once a week and exclude the rest of the world
Harry and Lady Julia are to live at Lady Marys seat about ten miles from hence and I have fixed on a house which is to be sold at about the same distance
And now Bellville to be very serious I should be the happiest creature in the world in this prospect if I was not afraid of my own conduct I am volatile light extravagant and capricious qualities ill suited to matrimonial life I know my faults but am not able to mend them I see the beauty of order in the moral world yet doat to excess on irregularity
Call on Colonel Mandeville and concert your journey together Heaven and earth I What have I not said in that permission With all my affection for you there is a solemnity in the ideaO Bellville should I ever become less dear to you should coldnelss should indifference ever take place of that lively endearing tendernessI will throw away the pen for a moment
The most amiable of men will forgive the too anxious fears of excessive love I with transport make him the arbiter of my future days Lady Julia is come back and has brought me the enclosed bond by which Bell Hastings engages to pay you thirty thousand pounds on the day of my marriage Her letter to you will explain this further
Twelve oClock
Ah cor mio son confuso Yes I blush at saying in express words what I have already said by deduction Your uncle insists on a positive I will How can the dear old man be so cruel Tell him if he is not satisfied with this letter he shall dictate the form of consent himself
One condition however I shall not dispense with that he comes down to Belmont and opens the ball with Lady Mary
Adio
I Really cannot help feeling prodigiously foolish about this marriage it is a thousand to one but I retreat yet prepare yourself for a disappointment for I am exceedingly on the capricioso
O Heavens I forgot to tell you an old matchmaking Lady in the neighbourhood having taken it into her head I have a passion for Harry Mandeville and designing to win my heart by persuading me to what she supposes I have a mind to recommended him strongly to me last night for a husband I heard her with the utmost attention and when she had finished her harangue blushed looked down hesitated and denied the thing with so pretty a confusion that she is gone away perfectly convinced I am to be Lady Anne Mandeville and will tell it as a secret all round the country I am not sorry for this as it will take away all suspicion of what is really intended and secure that secrecy we wish on the occasion The good old Lady went away infinitely delighted at being possessed of a quality secret which in the country gives no little importance pleased too with her own penetration in discovering what nobody else has suspected I cannot conceive a happier being than she is at present
I have just received from town the most divine stomacher and sleeveknots you ever beheld
An interesting event
Yes creature and what I can plead authority for mentioning Did not mademoiselle princess of the blood of France granddaughter of Henry the Great write some half a dozen volumes to inform posterity that on Saturday the 14th of November 1668 she wore her blue ribbands Surely you men think nothing of consequence but sieges and battles now in my sentiments it would be happy for mankind if all the heroes who make such havock amongst their species merely because they have nothing to do would amuse themselves with sorting suits of ribbands for their ladies
I am in the sweetest good humor today that can be imagined so mild and gentle you would be amazed a little impatient indeed for the evening which is to bring my charming Harry
I have been asking my Lord how with Harrys sensibility they contrived to keep him so long free from attachments In answer to which he gave me the enclosed sketch of a letter from colonel Mandeville to a lady of his acquaintance at Rome which he said would give me a general notion of the matter
Paris
MADAM
YOU will receive this from the hands of that son I have before had the honor of recommending to your esteem
I have accompanied him myself hither where being perfectly satisfied with his behavior and convinced that generous minds are best won to virtue by implicit confidence I have dismissed the tutor I intended to have sent with him to Italy shall return to England myself and depend for his conduct on his own discretion his desire of obliging me and that nobleness of sentiment which will make him feel the value of my friendship for him in its utmost extent
I have given him letters to the most worthy persons in every court I intend he should visit but as my chief dependence for the advantages of this tour are on the count and yourself I have advised him to spend most of his time at Rome where honored by your friendship I doubt not of his receiving that last finishing that delicate polish which I flatter myself if not deceived by the fondness of a parent is all he wants to make him perfectly amiable
To you Madam and the count I commit him defend him from the snares of vice and the contagion of affectation
You receive him an unexperienced youth with lively passions a warm and affectionate heart an enthusiastic imagination probity openness generosity and all those advantages of person and mind which a liberal education can bestow I expect him from your hands a gentleman a man of honor and politeness with the utmost dignity of sentiment and character adorned by that easy elegance that refined simplicity of manner those unaffected graces of deportment so difficult to describe but which it is scarce possible to converse much with you without acquiring
Sensible of the irresistible power of beauty I think it of the utmost consequence with what part of the female world he converses I have from childhood habituated him to the conversation of the most lovely and polite amongst the best part of the sex to give him an abhorrence to the indelicacy of the worst I have endeavoured to impress on his mind the most lively ideas of the native beauty of virtue and to cultivate in him that elegance of moral taste that quick sensibility which is a nearer way to rectitude than the dull road of inanimate precept
Continuing the same anxious cares I send him to perfect his education not in schools or academies but in the conversation of the most charming amongst women the ardent desire of pleasing you and becoming worthy your esteem inseparable from the happiness of knowing you will be the keenest spur to his attainments and I shall see him return all the fond heart of a parent can wish from his ambition of being honored with your friendship
To you Madam I shall make no secret of my wish that he may come back to England unconnected I have a view for him beyond his most sanguine hopes to which however I entreat he may be a stranger the charms of the Lady cannot fail of attaching a heart which has no prepossession from which I conjure you if possible to guard him I should even hear with pleasure you permitted him to a certain degree to love you that he might be steeled to all other charms If he is half as much in love with you as his father all other beauties will lay snares for him in vain
I am MADAM With the most lively Esteem Your obedient and devoted J MANDEVILLE
Oh Heavens whilst I have been writing and thinking nothing of it the pavillion which it seems has been some time prepared is raised opposite the window of the saloon at the end of a walk leading to the house we are to sup in it this evening it is charmante the sight of it and the idea of its destination makes my heart palpitate a little Mon Dieu that ever I should be seduced into matrimony
Farewel for an hour or two
You have no notion what divine dresses we have making for the masquerade I shall not tell you particulars as I would not take off the pleasure of surprize but they are charming beyond conception
Do not you doat on a masquerade Bellville For my own part I think it is the quintessence of all sublunary joys and without flattering my Lords taste I have a strange fancy this will be the most agreeable one I ever was at in my life the scenes the drapery the whole disposition of it is enchanting
AFTER four days past in anxiety not to be told this ardently expected morning is come I every moment expect Mr Herbert I tremble at every sound another hour and the happiness of my whole life will be for ever determined Mordaunt the idea chills my soul
It is now a week since I have heard from Belmont not a line from Emily Howard or Lady Anne the unhappy have few friends Lord Melvin is the minion of fortune he has taken my place in their esteem
The time is past and my friend is not here he has therefore no letters from Lord Belmont I rated his disinterestedness too high misled by the mean despicable maxims of the world he resents my passion for his daughter he gives her to another without deigning even to send me an answer he might surely have respected his own blood my soul is on fire at this insult his age his virtues protect him but Lord MelvinLet him avoid my fury
Yet am I not too rash May not some accident have retarded my friend I will wait patiently till evening I cannot believe Lord BelmontMay he not have seen me and suspecting some clandestine designYes my folly has undone me what can he think of such a concealment
Mordaunt I cannot live in this suspence I will send William this moment to Belmont
Five oClock
William is come back and has thrown me into despair yes my friend it is now beyond a doubt
Lady Julia is intended for Lord Melvin the most splendid preparations are making all is joy and festivity at Belmont a wretch like me is below their thoughts messengers are hourly coming and going from Lord Rochdales it is past and I am doomed to despair my letter has only hastened my destruction has only hastened this detested marriage overawed by paternal authority she gives me up she marries another she has forgot her vows those vows which she called on Heaven to witness I have lost all for which life was worth my care
Mordaunt I am no longer master of myself Lord Melvin is this moment gone past to Belmont dressed like a youthful gay and burning bridegroom his eyes sparkle with new fire his cheek has the glow of happy love This very hour perhaps he calls her histhis very hour her consenting blushesthe idea is insupportableFirst may the avenging bolt of of Heavenbut why supplicate HeavenMy own armI will follow himI will not tamely resign herHe shall firstYes through my blood aloneWhat I intend I know notMy thoughts are all distraction
Seven oClock
We expect the caro Enrico every moment my chariot is gone for Emily Howard and my niece Lord Melvin too comes this evening by my permission Lady Julia has just asked me to walk with her in the park she wants to hear me talk of Harry whom she cannot mention herself though her thoughts are full of nothing else her color comes and goes her eyes have a double portion of softness her heart beats with apprehensive pleasure What an evening of transport will this be Why are you not here Bellville I shall absolutely be one of the old people to night Can you form an idea of happiness equal to Harrys Raised from the depth of despair to the fruition of all his wishes I long to see how he will receive the first mention of this happy turn of fortune but Lady Mary has reserved all that to herself
Adieu
Great God to what a scene have I been witness How shall I relate the shocking particulars
Lady Julia and I were advanced about a quarter of a mile from the house blessing Providence and talking of the dear hope of future happy days she was owning her passion with blushes and all the tremor of modest sensibility when we were interrupted by the clashing of swords behind some trees near us we turned our heads and saw Lord Melvin distraction in his air his sword bloody supporting Harry Mandeville pale bleeding motionless and to all appearance in the agonies of death Lady Julia gave a shriek and fell senseless in my arms My cries brought some of the servants who happened to be near part of them with Lord Melvin conveyed Harry to the house whilst the rest staid with me to take care of Lady Julia
Harry was scarce out out of sight when she recovered her senses she looked wildly towards the place where she first saw him then starting from me raising her eyes to Heaven her hands clasped togetherOh Bellville never shall I lose the idea of that image of horror and despairshe neither spoke nor shed a tearthere was an eager wildness in her look which froze my soul with terror she advanced hastily towards the house looking round her every moment as if expecting again to see him till having exhausted all her strength she sunk down breathless on one of the seats where I supported her till my Lords chariot which I had sent for came up in which I placed myself by her and we drove slowly towards the house she was put tobed in a burning fever preceded by a shivering which gives me apprehensions for her which I endeavor to conceal from the wretched parents whose sorrows mock all description
My Lord is just come from Lord Melvin who insisted on being his prisoner till Harry was out of danger disdaining to fly from justice since my Lord refuses his stay at Belmont he intreats to be given into the hands of some gentleman near My Lord has accepted this offer and named his father Lord Rochdale for the trust He is gone under the best guard his own honor in which Lord Belmont has implicit confidence
I have been into Lady Julias room she takes no notice of any thing. Emily Howard kneels weeping by her bedside Lady Belmont melts my soul when I behold her she sits motionless as the statue of despair she holds the hand of her lovely daughter between hers she presses it to her bosom and the tears steal silently down her cheeks
Unable to bear the sight I am returned to my apartment
Oh Bellville How is this scene of happiness changed Where are now the gay transporting hopes which warmed our hearts this morning
I have with difficulty prevailed on Lady Mary who droops under this weight of affliction and whose years are ill suited to scenes of horror to set out this evening for her own seat my niece whose sorrow you may easily imagine is to accompany her thither if Mr Mandeville dies murdered by the hand of him with whose fate hers is connected never must she again enter these hospitable doors
Bellville how is the gay structure of ideal happiness fallen in one moment to the ground
The messenger who was sent to Lord Ts is returned and has brought my Lords letter he went from thence to Mr Herberts where Mr Mandeville was supposed to be but found nobody there but a servant from whom he could get no information The family had been gone five days to London being sent for express to a relation who was dying
Oh Bellville how many accidents have conspiredI myself have innocently contributed to this dreadful event misled by my Lords equivocal expressions which seemed to point so plainly at Lord MelvinIf he diesBut I will not give way to so shocking an idea The servant who went for a surgeon is not yet returned till his wounds are examined we must be in all the torture of suspence and apprehension
Eleven oClock
The surgeon is come he is now with Mr Mandeville how I dread to hear his sentenceThe door opensHe comes out with Lord Belmont horror is in the face of the latterOh Bellville my presaging heartthey advance towards meI am unable to meet themmy limbs tremblea cold dew
Bellville his wounds are mortalthe pen drops from my hand
A farmers son in the neighbourhood has just brought the enclosed letter for Mr Mandeville which not knowing the consequence my Lord has opened
LONDON
THE generous concern you have been pleased to take in my misfortunes leaves me no room to doubt I shall give you pleasure by informing you that they are at an end a rich relation who is just expired having made a will in my favor which places me in circumstances beyond my hopes But you will be still more happy to know you have contributed to this turn of my fortune The express was arrived with a request from our dying friend that we would instantly come post to town and we were lamenting our hard fate in being unable from our indigence to undertake a journey on which so much depended when the post brought me a bill for one hundred pounds which could come from no hand but yours I wish the world was such as to make it easy for us to mistake We set out with hearts filled with the sincerest gratitude to Heaven and the most worthy of men and on our arrival found deferring our journey even a few hours would have been fatal to all our hopes
To you therefore to whom we owe the means of taking this journey we owe the ease of fortune which has been the consequence of it Heaven has been pleased to make the man on earth we most esteem the instrument of its goodness to us
The hurry of spirits in which we set out prevented my leaving a direction for you with my servant which I hope has been of no ill consequence I have today sent him a direction and ordered him to wait on you with this letter As soon as my affairs here are settled will replace the money your generous friendship has assisted us with wherever you please to order
I am with the most lively Esteem SIR Your most affectionate And obedient Servant W HERBERT
Bellville is it not hard the exercise of the noblest virtue should have been attended with such fatal effects He dies for having alleviated the distresses of his friend for having sympathized in the affliction of others
THE most lovely of men is no more he expired early this morning after having in my presence owned to my Lord that jealousy was the true cause of his attacking Lord Melvin who only fought in his own defence which he intreated him publicly to attest and to beg Lord Melvins pardon in his name for insults which madness alone could excuse and which it was not in man to bear he owned Lord Melvins behavior in the duel had been noble and that he had avoided giving him the least wound till urged by fury and despair and aiming at the life of his generous enemy rather than at his own defence he had rushed on the point of his sword
He expressed great indifference for life on his own account but dreaded the effect his death might have on the most tender of fathers intreated my Lord to soften so painful a stroke by preparing him for it by degrees and if possible to conceal from him the shocking manner of it
How ill said he has my rashness repaid him for all his anxious cares his indulgent goodness I suffer justly but for himGreat God support him in the dreadful trial and pour all thy blessings on his head
He then proceeded to expostulate gently with Lord Belmont on his supposed design of forcing the heart of his daughter and on that neglect of himself which had planted the furies of jealousy in his breast and occasioned this shocking event These reproaches brought on an explanation of the situation to which his danger had reduced Lady Julia of my Lords intention of giving her to him and of the whole plan of purposed happiness which his impatience irritated by a series of unforeseen accidents had so fatally destroyed
Till now he had appeared perfectly composed but from the moment my Lord began to speak a wildness had appeared in his countenance which rose before he ended to little less than distraction he raved he reproached Heaven itself then melting into tears prayed with fervor unspeakable for Lady Julias recovery the agitation of his mind caused his wounds to bleed afresh successive faintings were the consequence in one of which he expired
Lord Belmont is now writing to Colonel Mandeville How many has this dreadful event involved in misery
Who shall tell this to Lady Julia yet how conceal it from her I dread the most fatal effects from her despair when returning reason makes her capable of knowing her own wretchedness at present she is in a state of perfect insensibility her fever is not the least abated she has every symptom which can indicate danger Lady Belmont and Emily Howard have never left her bedside a moment I have with difficulty persuaded them to attempt to rest a few hours and am going to take Lady Belmonts place by her bedside
Ten oClock
The physician is gone he thinks Lady Julia in danger but has not told this to the family I am going again to her apartment she has not yet taken notice of any body
I had been about half an hour in Lady Julias room when having sent the last attendant away for something I wanted she looked round and saw we were alone she half raised herself in the bed and grasping my hand fixed her enquiring eyes ardently on mine I too well understood their meaning and unable to hide my grief was rising to leave the bedside when catching hold of me with a look and air which froze my soul
Lady Anne said she does he live
My silence and the tears which I could not conceal explained to her the fatal truth when raising her streaming eyes and supplicating hands to heavenOh Bellville no words can describe the excess of her sorrow and despair fearful of the most fatal instant effects I was obliged to call her attendants of whose entrance she took not the least notice After remaining some time absorbed in an agony of grief which took from her all power of utterance and made her insensible to all around her the tears which she shed in great abundance seemed to give her relief my heart was melted I wept with her she saw my tears and pressing my hand tenderly between hers seemed to thank me for the part I took in her afflictions I had not opposed the torrent of her despair but when I saw it subsiding endeavored to soothe her with all the tender attention and endearing sympathy of faithful friendship which so far succeeded that I have left her more composed than I could have imagined it possible she should so soon have been she has even an appearance of tranquillity which amazes me and seeming inclined to take rest I have left her for that purpose
May Heaven restore her to her wretched parents whose life is wrapt in hers May it inspire her with courage to bear this stroke the severest a feeling mind can suffer Her youth her sweetness of temper her unaffected piety her filial tenderness sometimes flatter me with a hope of her recovery but when I think on that melting sensibility on that exquisitely tender heart which bleeds for the sorrow of every human being I give way to all the horrors of despair
Lady Julia has sent to speak with me I will not a moment delay attending her How blest should I be if the sympathizing bosom of Friendship could soften by partaking her sorrows
Oh Bellville what a request has she made my blood runs back at the idea
She received me with a composed air begged me to sit down by her bedside and sending away her attendants spoke as follows
You are I doubt not my dear Lady Anne surprized at the seeming tranquil manner in which I bear the greatest of all misfortunesYes my heart doated on him my love for him was unutterableBut it is past I can no longer be deceived by the fond delusion of hope I submit to the will of Heaven My God I am resigned I do not complain of what thy hand has inflicted a few unavailing tears aloneLady Anne you have seen my calmness you have seen me patient as the trembling victim beneath the sacrificers knife Yet think not I have resigned all sensibility no were it possible I could liveBut I feel my approaching end Heaven in this is merciful That I bear this dreadful stroke with patience is owing to the certainty I shall not long survive him that our separation is but for a moment Lady Anne I have seen him in my dreams his spotless soul yet waits for mine yes the same grave shall receive us we shall be joined to part no more All the sorrow I feel is for my dear parents to you and Emily Howard I leave the sad task of comforting them by all our friendship I adjure you leave them not to the effects of their despair when I reflect on all their goodness and on the misery I have brought on their grey hairs my heart is torn in pieces I lament that such a wretch was ever created
I have been to blame not in loving the most perfect of human beings but in concealing that love and distrusting the indulgence of the best of parents Why did I hide my passion Why conceal sentiments only blameable on the venal maxims of a despicable world Had I been unreserved I had been happy but Heaven had decreed otherwise and I submit
But whither am I wandering I sent for you to make a request a request in which I will not be denied Lady Anne I would see him let me be raised and carried to his apartment before my mother returns let me once more behold him behold him for whom alone life was dear to me you hesitate for pity do not oppose me your refusal will double the pangs of death
Overcome by the earnestness of her air and manner I had not refolution to refuse her her maids are now dressing her and I have promised to attend her to his apartment
I am summoned Great God How shall I bear a scene like this I tremble my limbs will scarce support me
Twelve oClock
This dreadful visit is yet unpaid three times she approached the door and returned as often to her apartment unable to enter the room the third time she fainted away her little remaining strength being exhausted she has consented to defer her purpose till evening I hope by that time to persuade her to decline it wholly faint and almost sinking under her fatigue I have prevailed with her to lie down on a couch Emily Howard sits by her kissing her hand and bathing it with her tears
I have been enquiring at Lady Julias door she is in a sweet sleep from which we have every thing to hope I fly to tell this to Lady BelmontShe will live Heaven has heard our prayers
I found the wretched mother pouring out her soul before her God and imploring his mercy on her childShe heard me and tears of tender transportshe raised her grateful hands to Heaven
I am interrupted Dr Evelin is at the gate he is come to my apartment and desires me to accompany him to Lady Julia
We found her still in a gentle sleep composed at that of an infant we approached the bed Dr Evelin took her hand he stood some time looking on her with the most fixed attention when on my expressing my hopes from her sleep
Madam
said he
it is with horror I tell you that sleep will probably be her last nature is worn out and seeks a momentary repose before her last dreadful struggle
Not able to bear this I left the roomBellville is it possible Can Heaven thus overwhelm with affliction the best the noblest of its creatures Shall the amiable the reverend pair the business of whose lives has been to make others happy be doomed in age to bear the severest of all sorrows To see all their hopes blasted in one dreadful moment To believe this is to blaspheme Providence No it is not possible Heaven will yet restore her look down O God of mercy
Dr Evelin is now with the wretched parents breaking to them the danger of their child I dread seeing them after this interview yet he will not sure plunge them at once into despair
She is awake I have been with her her looks are greatly changed her lips have a dying paleness there is a dimness in her eyes which alarms me she has desired to speak a moment with Dr Evelin she would know how long he thinks it probable she may live
Six oclock
She is gone Bellville she is gone those lovely eyes are closed in everlasting night I saw her die I saw the last breath quiver on her lips she expired almost without a pang in the arms of her distracted mother
She felt her approaching dissolution of which she had been warned at her own earnest request by Dr Evelin she summoned us all to her apartment she embraced us with the most affecting tenderness she called me to her and giving me her picture for Col Mandeville begged me to tell him she who murdered his son died for him entreated me to stay some time at Belmont to comfort her disconsolate parents conjured Emily to be a child to them and never to let them miss their Julia
She begged forgiveness of her wretched parents for the only instance in which she had ever forgot her duty and for which she now so severely suffered entreated them to submit to the hand of Heaven and not give way to immoderate affliction to consider that if they were about to lose a child thousands were at that moment suffering under the same distress that death was the common portion of humanity from which youth was not more exempt than age that their separation was only temporary whilst their reunion would be eternal then raising her blameless hands prayed fervently to Heaven for them implored their last blessing and turning to her agonizing mother speechless with excess of sorrow conjured her to reflect on the past goodness of Heaven and the many years of happiness she had already past with the best of men that this was the first misfortune she had ever known then embracing her fondly weeping on her neck and thanking her for all her goodness pressed her to her bosom and expired
Let me draw a veil over the ensuing scene to which words cannot do justice With difficulty have we forced Lady Belmont from the body I have left Emily Howard with the venerable pair whose sorrow would melt the most obdurate heart she kneels by Lady Belmont she attempts to speak but tears stop her utterance the wretched mother sees her not inattentive to all but her grief her eyes fixed on the ground stupefaction and horror in her look she seems insensible of all that passes around her Sinking under his own distress and unable to support the sight of hers my Lord is retired to his apartment May Heaven look with pity on them both and enable them to bear this blow to all their hopes
Bellville where are now all our gay schemes Where the circle of happy friends
How vain are the designs of man unmindful of hs transitory state he lays plans of permanent felicity he sees the purpose of his heart ready to prosper the airdrawn building rises he watches it with a beating heart it touches the very point at which he aimed the very summit of imagined perfection when an unforeseen storm arises and the smiling deceitful structure of hope is dashed in one moment to the ground
Not an eye has been closed this night the whole house is a scene of horror the servants glide up and down the apartments wildness in their look as if the last day was come
Scarce have we been able to keep life in Lady Belmont she asks eagerly for her child her Julia she conjures us to lead her to her she will not believe her dead she starts up and fancies she hears her voice then recollecting the late dreadful scene lifts her expostulating hands to Heaven and sinks motionless into the arms of her attendants
Six oClock
Worn out by her long watchings and the violence of her emotions Lady Belmont is fallen into a slumber it is now two days and nights since she has attempted rest May that gracious God who alone has the power calm and tranquillize her mind
Eight oClock
I have been standing an hour looking on the breathless body of my angel friend lovely even in death a serene smile sits on that once charming face her paleness excepted she looks as if in a tranquil sleep Bellville she is happy she is now a saint in Heaven
How persuasive is such a preacher I gaze on that once matchless form and all vanity dies within me who was ever lovely like her yet she lies before me a clod of senseless clay those eyes which once gave love to every beholder are now robbed of their living lustre that beauteous bosom is cold as the marble on the silent tomb the roses of those cheeks are faded those vermillion lips from whence truth and virtue ever proceededBellville the starting tearsI cannot go on
Look here ye proud and be humble which of you all can vie with her Youth health beauty birth riches all that men call good were hers all are now of no a vail virtue alone bids defiance to the grave
Great Heaven Colonel Mandeville is at the gate he knows not the cup of sorrow which awaits him he cannot yet have received my Lords letter He alights with a smile of transport the exultation of hope is in his air Alas how soon to be destroyed He comes to attend the bridalday of his son he finds him a lifeless corse
The servants bring him this way they leave to me the dreadful taskBellville I cannot go through it
I have seen the most unhappy of fathers I have followed him whither my heart shuddered to approach Too soon informed of his wretched fate he shot like lightning to the apartment of his son he kissed his pale lifeless lips he pressed his cold hand to his bosom he bathed it with a torrent of tears then looking round with the dignity of affliction waved his hand for us all to retire We have left him to weep at liberty over the son on whom his heart doated to enjoy alone and undisturbed the dreadful banquet of despair
He has been now two hours alone with the body not an attendant has dared to intrude on the sacred rites of paternal sorrow My Lord is this moment gone to him to give him a melancholy welcome to Belmont
Great God What a meeting How different from that which their sanguine hopes had projected The bridal couch is the bed of death
Oh Bellville but shall presumptuous man dare to arraign the ways of Heaven
YOUR letter my dear Bellville gave me all the consolation it is possible to receive amidst such a scene of wretchedness and despair the tender sympathy of pitying friendship is the best balm for every woe
The delicacy with which you decline mentioning a subject so improper for the time would encrease my esteem for you if that was possible I know the goodness the tender sensibility of your heart too well to doubt your approving my resolution to give six months to the memory of my angelic friend and the sad task of endeavoring to soften the sorrows of her parents Her dying voice adjured me not to leave them to their despair I will not forget the sad task her friendship imposed
The agony of Lady Belmonts grief begins to give place to a sorrow more reasonable though perhaps not less exquisite The violence of her emotions abate she stills weeps but her air is more calm she raises her eyes to Heaven but it is with a look of patient resignation which whilst it melts my soul to behold gives me hopes she will not sink under her afflictions Lord Belmont struggles with his own grief lest is should encrease hers he attempts to comfort her he begs her with an irresolute air to consider the hand from whence the stroke proceeded unable to go on his voice trembles his bosom swells with unutterable anguish he rises he leaves the room the tears trickle down his reverend cheeks
These Bellville these are the scenes I have perpetually before my eyes
Colonel Mandeville indulges his sorrow alone shut up continually in his apartment a prey to silent distress he seems to fly from all human converse if entreated he joins our sad party a moment he enters with a dejected air his eyes are bent earnestly to the ground he sits motionless inattentive absorbed in reflexion on his own misery then starting up exclaims
All else I could have borne
and retires to give himself up to his despair
I am now convinced Emily Howard deserved that preference Lady Julia gave her over me in her heart of which I once so unjustly complained I lament I regret but am enough myself to reason to reflect Emily Howard can only weep
Far from being consoled for the loss of her lovely friend by the prospect of inheriting Lord Belmonts fortune to which after Colonel Mandeville she is intitled she seems incapable of tasting any good in life without her every idea of happiness her gentle mind could form included Lady Julias friendship with her she wished to spend all her days she was all to her tender Emily without her she finds the world a desart
She is changed beyond conception by her grief a grief which has not a moments intermission the almost dying paleness of her cheeks is a witness of the excess of her affliction yet this very paleness has a thousand charms her distress has something in it unspeakably lovely adorned by sorrow she puts me in mind of what Young describes woman in general
So properly the object of affliction
That Heaven is pleased to make distress become her
And dresses her most amiably in tears
Bellville I have been walking in a little wilderness of flowering shrubs once peculiarly happy in Lady Julias favor there is a rose which I saw planted by her hand it still flourishes in youthful bloom whilst she the fairest flower Heaven ever formed lies cropped by the cruel hand of Death
What force has the imagination over the senses! How different is the whole face of nature in my eyes The once smiling scene has a melancholy gloom which strikes a damp through my inmost soul I look in vain for those vivid beauties which once charmed me all beauty died with Lady Julia
In this spot where we have so often walked together I give way to all the voluptuousness of sorrow I recall those happy days which are never to return a thousand tender ideas rush on my memory I recollect those dear moments of confidence and friendship engraved for ever on my heart I still hear the sweet accents of that voice still behold that matchless form I see her every moment before me in all the playfulness of youth and innocence I see her parents gazing on her as she passes with that lively transport a parent only can know
It was here her rising blushes first discovered to me the secret of her heart it was here the loveliest of mankind first implored me to favor his passion for my sweet friend
Pleased with the tender sorrow which possessed all my soul I determined to indulge it to the utmost and revolving in my imagination the happy hours of chearful friendship to which that smiling scene had been witness prolonged my walk till evening had almost unperceived spread its gloomy horrors round till the varied tints of the flowers were lost in the deepening shades of night
Awaking at once from the reverie in which I had been plunged I found myself at a distance from the house just entering the little wood so loved by my charming friend the every moment encreasing darkness gave an awful gloom to the trees I stopped I looked round not a human form was in sight I listened and heard not a sound but the trembling of some poplars in the wood I called but the echo of my own voice was the only answer I received a dreary silence reigned around a terror I never felt before seized me my heart panted with timid apprehension I breathed short I started at every leaf that moved my limbs were covered with a a cold dew I fancied I saw a thousand airy forms flit around me I seemed to hear the shrieks of the dead and dying there is no describing my horrors
At the moment when my fears had almost deprived me of sense, I saw Colonel Mandeville approach I concealed from him the terrors of my soul lest they should add to the sorrow which consumed him he addressed me in a faltering voice conducted me to the house almost without speaking and leading me into the saloonOh Bellville How shall I describe what I felt on entering the room
Is not Death of itself sufficiently dreadful that we thus clothe it in additional terrors by the horrid apparatus with which we suffer it to be attended The room was hung with black lighted up to show the affecting objects it contained and in the midst in their coffins the breathless bodies of the hapless lovers on a couch near them supported by Emily Howard the wretched mother wringing her hands in all the agony of despair Lord Belmont standing by the bodies looking at them alternately weeping over his child and raising his desponding eyes to Heaven beseeching the God of Mercy to relieve him from this load of misery and to put a speedy period to that life which was now robbed of all its happiness
I approached Lady Julias coffin I gazed eagerly on her angel countenance serene as that of a sleeping infant I kissed her lifeless lips which still wore the smile of innocence and peace Bellville may my last end be like hers May I meet her in the regions of immortality Never shall I forget her gentle virtues or the delight I found in her friendship
She was wrapped in a loose robe of white sattin her head covered with a veil of gause the village maids who laid her in the coffin had adorned herwith the freshest flowers they stood at an awful distance weeping her hard fate and their own they have entreated to watch around her this night and to bear her tomorrow to the grave
I had stood some time looking on the dear remains of Lady Julia when Colonel Mandeville took my hand and leading me to the coffin in which his sons were deposited
Lady Anne said he you have forgot your once favored friend your once gay once lovely Harry Mandeville Behold all that Death has left of the darling of a fond parents heart The graces of that form are lost those lips have ceased to utter the generous sentiments of the noblest heart which ever beat but never will his varied perfections be blotted from the mind of his father
I approached the most lovely of men the traces of sorrow were visible on his countenance he died in the moment when he heard the happiness which had been vainly intended for him My tears streamed afresh when I beheld him when I remembered the sweet hours we had passed together the gay scenes which hope had painted to our hearts I wept over the friend I had so loved I pressed his cold hand to my lips
Bellville I am now accustomed to horrors
We have prevailed on the wretched parents to retire Emily Howard and I have entreated to watch our angel friends till midnight and then leave them to the village maids to whom Lady Julias weeping attendants insist on being joined
I dread the rising of tomorrows sun he was meant to light us to happiness
Bellville this morning is come this morning once so ardently expected who shall ever dare to say tomorrow I will be happy
At dawn of day we returned to the saloon we bid a last adieu to the loved remains my Lord and Colonel Mandeville had been before us they were going to close the coffins when Lady Belmont burst wildly into the room she called eagerly for her Julia for the idol of her agonizing soul
Let me once more behold my child let me once more kiss those icy lips O Julia this day first gave thee birth this day fond hope set down for thy bridals this day we resign thee to the grave
Overcome by the excess of her sorrow she fainted into the arms of her woman we took that opportunity to convey her from this scene of terrors her senses are not yet returned
What a day have I passed may the idea of it be ever blotted from my mind
Nine oclock
The sad procession begins the whole village attend in tears they press to perform the last melancholy duties her servants crowd eagerly round they weep they beat their bosoms they call on their angelic mistress they kiss the pall that covers her breathless form Borne by the youngest of the village maidsO Bellville never more shall I behold her the loveliest of her sex the friend on whom my heart doatedOne grave receives the hapless lovers
They move onfar other processionsbut who shall resist the hand of heaven
Emily Howard comes this way she has left the wretched parents there is a wildness in her air which chills my blood she will behold her friend once more she proposes to meet and join the procession I embrace the offer with transportthe transport of enthusiastic sorrow
We have beheld the closing sceneBellville my heart is breakingthe pride of the world the loveliest pair that ever breathed the vital air are now cold and inanimate in the grave
I Am just come from chapel with Lady Belmont who has been pouring out the sorrows of her soul to her Creator with a fervor of devotion which a mind like hers alone can feel when she approached the seat once filled by Lady Julia the tears streamed involuntarily down her cheeks she wiped them away she raised her eyes to Heaven and falling on her knees with a look of pious resignation seemed to sacrifice her grief to her god or at least to suspend the expression of it in his presence
Next Sunday she goes to the parish church where the angelic pair are interred I dread her seeing the vault yet think she cannot too soon visit every place which must renew the excess of her affliction she will then and not till then find by degrees the violence of her sorrow subside and give way to that pleasing melancholy that tender regret which however strange it may appear is one of the most charming sensations of the human heart
Whether it be that the mind abhors nothing like a state of inaction or from whatever cause I know not but grief itself is more agreeable to us than indifference nay if not too exquisite is in the highest degree delightful of which the pleasure we take in tragedy or in talking of our dead friends is a striking proof we wish not to be cured of what we feel on these occasions the tears we shed are charming we even indulge in them Bellville does not the very word
indulge
shew the sensation to be pleasureable
I have just now a letter from my niece she is in despair at this dreadful event she sees the amiable the venerable parents whose happiness was the ardent wish of her soul and from whom she had received every proof of esteem and friendship reduced to the extremest misery by the hand of him she loves for ever excluded from Belmont for ever to them an object of horror she seems to herself guilty of their wretchedness she seems to have struck the fatal blow
Since Mr Mandevilles death she has left Lady Mary whose tears she fancied were redoubled at her sight
Nor is she less wretched on Lord Melvins account she is distracted with her terrors for his life which is however safe by Mr Mandevilles generous care who when expiring gave testimony to his innocence
You will oblige me by begging of Lady Betty to take her at present under her protection it ill suits the delicacy of her sex and birth to remain in London alone and unconnected with your amiable mother she cannot fail of being happy
I had perswaded Lady Belmont to walk in the garden she went with me leaning on my arm when the door being opened the first object that struck her sight was the pavillion raised for the marriage of her daughter which none of us had thought of having removed
She started she returned hastily to her apartment and throwing herself on a couch gave a loose to all the anguish of her soul
Bellville every object she meets will remind her of the darling of her heart
My Lord and Colonel Mandeville are together they are projecting a tomb for their lovely children a tomb worthy the ardour of their own parental affection worthy to perpetuate the memory of their virtues their love and their wretched fate How often shall visit this tomb how often strow it with the sweetest flowers
As I passed this moment through the saloon I went mechanically to the window from whence we used to contemplate the happy groups of villagers Bellville how was I struck with the change not one of the late joyous train appeared all was a dismal scene of silent unsocial solitude lost to the idea of pleasure all revere all partake the sorrows of their godlike benefactors with Lady Julia all joy has left the once charming shades of Belmont
Lord Fondville is gone past with his bride in all the splendor of exulting transport Scarce can I forbear accusing Heaven the worthless live and prosper the virtuous sink untimely to the grave
My Lord has ordered the pavillion to be removed he will build an obelisk on the spot where it stood on the spot once dedicated to the happiness of his child
A stranger has been today at the parish church enquiring for the grave of Mr Mandeville his behaviour witnessed the most lively sorrow it can be no other than Mr Herbert I have told this to my Lord who will write and ask him to Belmont that he may mix his tears with ours whoever loved Mr Mandeville will be here a most welcome guest
I have perswaded Lady Belmont to go out for an hour with me in my chariot this morning we are to go a private road where we are sure of not seeing a human being Adieu
IF my regret for the latedreadful event an event embittered by the circumstances your last letter communicated to me could receive any encrease it certainly must from the generous behaviour of Mr Mandeville whose care for my unhappy son when expiring is a proof his blood was drawn from the same source as your Lordships Yes he was indeed worthy the happiness you intended him worthy the honored name of Mandeville
Relieved by the noble conduct of your lamented kinsman from the fears I entertained for my sons life my sorrows for the miseries he has occasioned is only the more severe I feel with unutterable anguish that my ancient friend the friend of my earliest youth is childless by the crime of him who owes his being to me the blow his hand unwillingly struck has reached the heart of the incomparable Lady Julia I think of her angelic perfections of the untimely fate which has robbed the world of its loveliest ornament and almost wish never to have been a father
Lady Rochdale and Louisa are in tears by me for ever excluded from Belmont they look on themselves as exiles though at home The horrors of mind under which my son labors are unutterable he entreats to see Colonel Mandeville to obtain his pardon for that involuntary crime which has destroyed all the happiness of his life
Will you my friend once more admit us Allow us one interview with yourself and Colonel Mandeville I ask no more nor will ever repeat the visit I could not support the sight of Lady Belmont
I am My LORD Your LORDSHIPS most faithful though wretched friend ROCHDALE
COnvinced Lord Melvin is more unfortunate than culpable it would be cruel to treat him as a criminal I feel a horror I cannot conquer at the idea of ever receiving the visit your Lordship has proposed but conscious of the injustice of indulging it I sacrifice it to our antient friendship and only postpone not refuse the visit I will struggle with the reluctance of my heart to see the guiltless author of my misery as soon as he is publicly exculpated from the crime he at present stands charged with Colonel Mandeville must appear as his accuser wretched as his hand has made me justice obliges me to bear witness to his innocence Lady Anne Wilmot who was present at Mr Mandevilles dying declaration is ready to confirm my evidence Lord Melvin therefore has nothing to fear The trial once past I will endeavor to prevail on Colonel Mandeville and Lady Belmont to make the same painful sacrifice to friendship to which time and reason will I hope perfectly reconcile us but your Lordship will on a moments reflexion be convinced that till this is past it would be indecent in me to see Lord Melvin
We are greatly obliged to Lady Rochdale and Lady Louisa the time of whose visit their own politeness and sensibility will regulate it is a severe addition to my wretchedness that the family of my friend is so fatally involved in it
Oh Lord Rochdale you are a father and can pity us you can judge the anguish to which we must ever be a prey never more shall we know a chearful hour our lost child will be ever at our hearts when I remember her filial sweetness her angel virtues her matchless perfectionsthe only view we had in life was to see her happy that is past and all is now a dreary wild before us time may blunt the keen edge of sorrow and enable us to bear the load of life with patience but never must we hope the return of peace
The shortness of life and the consideration how much of our own is past are the only consolations we can receive it cannot be long before we rejoin our beloved child we have only to pray for that ardently expected hour which will reunite us to all we love
Why will man lay schemes of lasting felicity By an over solicitude to continue my family and name and secure the happiness of my child I have defeated my own purpose and fatally destroyed both
Humbled in the dust I confess the hand of Heaven the pride of birth the grandeur of my house had too great a share in my resolves
Oh my friend but I consider the hand which directed the blow and submit to the will of my God
I am c BELMONT
I AM desired by my Lord to ask you hither and to beg you will bring my niece with you Lady Belmont joins in the request her nobleness of sentiment has conquered the reluctance she had to see her she has even promised to endeavor to bear the sight of Lord Melvin but I fear this is more than is in her power she fainted when the request was first made Lady Mary is expected here this evening
Bellville you are coming to Belmont once the smiling paradice of friendship Alas how changed from that once happy abode Where are those blameless pleasures that convivialjoy those sweet follies which once gave such charms to this place For ever gone for ever changed to a gloomy sadness for ever buried with Lady Julia
Lady Belmont struggles nobly with her grief she has consented to see her friends to see all who will hear her talk of her child a tender melancholy has taken place of those horrors which it was impossible long to support and live
Colonel Mandeville is to stay at Belmont they are to indulge in all the voluptuousness of sorrow they are to sit all day and talk of their matchless children and count the hours till they follow them to the grave They have invited all who will join in tears with them the coach is gone today for Mr and Mrs Herbert
Emily Howard and I bend our whole thoughts to find out means to soften their sorrows I hope much from your conversation and the endearing sensibility of your soul it is not by resisting but by soothing grief that we must heal the wounded heart
There is one pleasure to which they can never be insensible the pleasure of relieving the miseries of others to divert their attention from the sad objects which now engross them we must find out the retreats of wretchedness we must point out distress which it is in their power to alleviate
Oh Bellville But in vain does the pride of human wisdom seek to explore the counsels of the Most High Certain of the paternal care of our Creator our part is submission to his will